My Uncle JR. --- Long

As I told you guys in my other post my uncle Jr passed away last night. He was a good hearted man that saw the good in everybody and would never hurt anybody. He was a heavy man that tried for years to get WLS. All the doctors in the area didnt want to do the surgery because of his heart. He had damaged his heart earlier by using thin thin or fin fin (sp) you understand what Im talking about right? that weight loss drug. Any how, he kept gaining weight for years, he kept going to the doctor the past 2 years with pains in his legs, lower back and bad stomach problems, and their diagnosis was...........YOUR FAT AND THATS WHY YOU FEEL BAD, LOSE SOME WEIGHT AND YOU WONT BE SICK ANYMORE!! Ok how many of us has heard that before???? So they put him all 25 different meds, he had to take them every day of his life but nothing was working. He just kept getting told it was his weight that was causing all of his problems and that was it the doctors wouldn't even check for anything else. Well I had my surgery and my Uncle was so proud that I had a chance to be smaller, he called me all the time checking me and my progress, needless to say I believe he was living his WLS through me. I went to see him before I moved because he has been so sick. He wasn't himself anymore because of the pains in his stomach, he could't hardly eat anymore, couldn't walk anymore. His was 5'8 and weighed over 400lbs. My aunt kept taking him to the doctor and the doctor told him he had the flu and sent him home. After 2 weeks he didnt get better so he went back to the doctor. He ended up in the hospital for dehydration, malnutrition because he couldn't keep any food down and was anemic. The doctor told him once again it was because of his weight and that he needed to lose it. While in the hospital he didnt get any better they were going to send him home but my aunt (God bless her soul) begged for him to be sent to another hosptial. They finalled listened to her and sent him to Greenville SC. Once there (the day he arrived) they begain testing for all kinds of things, guess what? He had colon cancer, he was stage 4. They said if the other doctors had tested him like they should have months ago when he first started complaining it may have been caught in enough time, but at this stage it had spread to his liver, lungs, bones,  stomach around his spine and had attached itself to his body.  Needless to say there was no hope, they put him on some high powered drugs to ease his pain. They were going to send him home this Tuesday but the Lord decided to take him early so that he wouldn't have to suffer. Believe it or not after I found out what he had I prayed at night that the Lord take him early so that he wouldn't have to suffer, I sorta feel guilty about praying such a thing but I knew there was no hope and that he was to good of a man to have to suffer any longer. He loved life and everybody in it.  Im angry because being a heavy person you are overlooked when it comes to the medical profession because they seem to think all your problems are "FAT" related and nothing else is wrong. If they would have listend to my Uncle and tested for other things he may still be with us now. The Doctors in Greenville said his weight had Nothing to do with his cancer. Im not worried about my Uncle Jr any longer, his is alive and healthy in heaven, he will not suffer any longer, he has no weight  issues, no heart problems, is young and slim, no more stares from people who are rude and unforgiving, no more hospitals, no more medicines. I love you Uncle Jr!!!!!! If everybody could, please say a prayer for his family. Now I have another Angel in heaven watching over me. Thanks for listening. Hugs to all from me and my Uncle Jr.

Donna, I am so sorry that your Uncle passed.  With today being Easter, I think it is more appropriate than ever to know he is resurrected in Heaven and is watching down on you!  My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.  And I agree, I know you have a guardian angel in Heaven named  Uncle JR!

Thank you so much for such kind words, even though I cried when I read them I know you are telling the truth and the tears are for joy and for sadness as I know he is looking down on me. Thanks again hun and God Bless you.

Donna I am so very sorry for your loss.  It sounds like your uncle was a kind hearted, loving and giving individual.  He loved you very much and surely did not desire a life of obesity for you that he had to endure.  I sat here and cried when I read your post.  My friend Mike had Phen Phen heart damage and his cardiologist told him that he would die.  They sent him home five years ago to die and told him that he had only a few months.  He was in his mid thirties at the time.  This post reminds me of the hopelessness that he felt, and how scared I was that I would lose my best friend.  I, too am mad that they did not do surgery on your uncle.  Mike had wls and it saved his life. It grieves me to hear of losing your uncle, a truly wonderful person.  I have you in my prayers, and surely there is nothing that I could ever say to help lessen that pain.  Thank you for sharing this with us.  I know how hard it must have been.

Thank you also for your kind words, just being able to talk to you guys and hearing your stories as well helps me. I just wished that somebody could be helped by reading his story.  Thank you for being here for me, that means a lot to me. Hugs

Donna, sending thoughts and prayers your way in memory of your uncle. I know that he passing is so hard on you. I am sorry to hear that he had gone through so much pain and grief. Bless his heart. It is horrible what folks have to deal with, and the ins. as well as some of folks in the medical field does not listen. Now he is watching over you and safe in the hands of the lord, with no pain. God be with you and family. Hugs and luv Barb MySpace Comments & MySpace Layouts

Donna So sorry to hear about your loss.  Your story reminds me of a interview I recently heard with Jerome Groopman M.D. who wrote a book  "Second Opinions" he is or was on staff at Beth Israel Hospital Boston, MA..  He stated that often people are dismissed because of weight or even attitude. That Doctors will listen to about half of what you have to say and make a diagnoses based on that and 70% of the time they are correct but when they are not you play heck to get them to change their mind.  So if you ever think this is happening you should get a second opinion and don't give the new Doctor any of the previous Doctors info, let him make his own diagnoses.  Unfortunately we as heavy people are the last acceptable group of people to be discriminated against, race or religion would never tolerate the type of abuse we do.  Sorry again for your loss.  I'll put my soap box away.  God Bless,  Bob

Donna,

I am so sorry for the loss of this dear uncle.  It is clear he is the type of person we would have all loved to have in our lives.  Just know that there is no reason for you to feel guilty, you were praying that he wake up in paradise.  Know that on this beautiful easer morning that your Uncle JR. woke up without a pain in his body, with a big smile on his face and with the mission of looking after you.  Makes you wonder if there was a reason why you and your dh didn't get hurt in all the moving mishaps you had.  Rejoice in the knowledge that Uncle Jr is in a glorious place.

darlene

Donna, I am so sorry for your loss.  I agree with both Melinda and Scott - you know have your own guardian angel and I know he is smiling down on you.  Phen-phen is an evil drug.  I took it for a short period of time and began having problems.  Thankfully, I stopped it before any permanent damage was done.  I'm sorry that didn't happen for your uncle and for the fact that all of us that did take it were mis-informed or not informed at all.  You know, we put our lives in the hands of our doctors because we believe they are the experts, but we have to be vigilant in our own health care as well.  Please do not beat yourself up over the prayer you prayed for your uncle.  It is difficult for us to see our loved ones in pain and know there is nothing else this world can do for them and it is only by the grace of God they are relieved of their pain.  You and your family are in my prayers as you go through the grieving process.  Just know that with time, the hole you have in your heart will be continually filled with the memories you have of your uncle. Hugs and Love to you my friend,

Donna,
I am so sorry about your loss.
The cir****tances of his illness and passing are unacceptable...just horrible.
My prayer is that your aunt, you and your family will feel God's peace during this time.