The funniest thing I have seen in a while....
(deactivated member)
on 2/27/08 2:51 pm
on 2/27/08 2:51 pm
If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma! This is even
funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad day at work think
of this guy.
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana He performs
underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his
sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne ,
Indiana , who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say,
she won.
Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a
bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I
thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad
after all . Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you
with a few te chnicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom
of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the
water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel
powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water
out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down
to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this
sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.
What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and
stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm
water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a
sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made
things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose
out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had
happened. The ho****er machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my
suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick
to it However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what
I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of
my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His
instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers,
were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was
instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling
thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry
decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass
helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running
down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as
soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop
for two days because my butt was swollen shut. So, next time you 're having a
bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish
shoved up your butt. Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I
love my job.' Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish
bad day? May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!
funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad day at work think
of this guy.
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana He performs
underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his
sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne ,
Indiana , who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say,
she won.
Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a
bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I
thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad
after all . Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you
with a few te chnicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom
of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the
water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel
powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water
out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down
to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this
sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.
What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and
stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm
water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a
sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made
things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose
out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had
happened. The ho****er machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my
suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick
to it However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what
I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of
my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His
instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers,
were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was
instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling
thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry
decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass
helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running
down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as
soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop
for two days because my butt was swollen shut. So, next time you 're having a
bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish
shoved up your butt. Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I
love my job.' Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish
bad day? May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!
that was too funny. Thanks for the morning laugh. Kathy 
Kathy Newton
I love my job, Ilove my job. That is priceless!! 
Most Active
Recent Topics
