being overwhelmed

Hi everyone, I feel so ashamed for not being more active like I used to be. But lately I don't know if I'm coming or going in my life. I have developed heart problems because of the Leukemia that I have to take heart pills.  My thyroid and Pancreas is acting up throwing my sugar in a whirl and may also be the reason I have gained so much weight in the past month.   I have to move at the end of the month as I am be evicted from the projects.  That's a long story of it's own.  I don't know where I will be going at this time as I don't have the money to secure a place until I get paid on the 1st.  I have been dealing with depression over it all that I have become a hermit in my own home.  I don't want to be around anyone, or do anything.  I do know that people wear me out that it takes two days to gain my strength back.  The leukemia is getting worse that I know.  I'm to have neck surgery the later part of March and will be alone with only a nurse coming in once in a while to bring more items and checking my neck for infections.  I know I won't be able to do anything strenuous like cleaning my home once I find something, unpack a box, drive, or stand for anytime longer then  5 minutes.  I'm not allowed to do the dishes, so I will be stocking up on paper supplies for a while.   Just be patient with me, I am struggling with a lot of mixed emotions and the devil is trying my patience.  My nerves are to the point of a breakdown.  I am so ready for some good news to come my way.  But that won't happen until my new grandchild is born in May. I won't know the sex until delivery date.  Pray it's a healthy baby girl, but another grandson will be loved just as much.  My arms ache to hold my new grandchild when it's born.   It's a good thing it will be born 2 months after my neck surgery or I wouldn't be able to even pick it up to hold.   I want to be more active again with this board.  I love it for the friendship and support that it gives to others.  But right now, I don't think I would be able to help anyone, I do read the posts, mostly lurking right now.  I need to get my life in order and trust God to help me with that.  There is always a reason why things happen, I just have to trust him more to show me what He has planned for me. Thank y'all for just being a part of each of our lives. Love to all

Kathy,
I am praying for you.

Thank you Betsyp, I'm hoping by the end of the month some of the stress will have eased up. I appreciate all prayers.  Always Kathy

Praying for you during these trying times. *hugs*

Thank you VolsDiva. It's so appreciative. Always, Kathy

Kathy,

I still have your name on my prayer list,  I hope things get better for you soon.  I know it will be awesome to hold that new grandbaby, just hang on girl it has to get better.

Love ya,

darlene

 Hi Darlene,  Thank you.  Mom called today, she's being tested for bone cancer.  Dad's brother died in october of bone cancer.  Her finger nails are all pink like polish but under the nail instead of on top.  Dr. is waiting for all the test results to come in and that's another week yet.  She keeps getting boils like crazy.  They did find a large cyst in her bladder so far.  Dr. is going to keep an eye on that over the next 3 months.  I keep telling her that she needs to get more iron in her system because of the boils.  They did the bone marrow biopsy on her awake like I was, she said she didn't scream, I sure did as it's a painful test to drill into the bone to remove the marrow and a piece of the bone.  When they do my neck surgery, he will be drilling into my hip to remove marrow to fusion the herinated disks in my neck.  That's going to take place sometime the later part of March.  I'm off to make salmon patties.  Thank you for your prayers.  Love ya