Frustrated, hurt, sad and need to vent...and need advice!

Hey guys... Please hear me out.... I went back to work this week after 7 weeks off for my hysterectomy for uterine cancer. I am also 6 1/2 months post RNY and have lost 87 pounds. I had lost 50 before I left but now it really shows. I made an extra effort to look nice, have some new clothes because my old ones won't fit...I had been wearing the old ones to work as long as I could. But Xmas came and went and I hit some sales and got some for presents. I came in with a good attitude, happy, said I feel great and am ready to work get right to work..... I have had many welcome backs, you look great, you look younger...and many co-workers happy to see me and complimentary..... BUT My boss and some other managers ( which are all in the 250-300 lb range)---exactly where I was....and I had been going to weigh****chers with them prior to my surgery...( which they don't know was RNY) think it was  GERD repair ---which is also true.... BUT NOWthings have been totally different!!!! I have been grilled.....reprimanded for something I absolutely had nothing to do with...loaded up with an unbelievable amount of work...sneered at....snubbed....ignored when I had a question about a new policy...and asked what I really had done while I was out...accused of lipo, tummy tuck...etc by the managers. Had 3 file reviews on my third day back and given needs improvement- which I have never received in 2 years!!!!  They all seem so angry!!! No welcome backs...no we missed you....just dumping work on me at a crazy pace!!! My Dad warned me it would be like this...but I cannot believe the extent of it!!!! These 4 managers have made me feel absolutely miserable!!!  Are they mad cause I was out? Are they jealous I've lost weight? Are they trying to get rid of me?  I am working my tail off...was I wrong to go in with a positive attitude, feeling 200% better and  ready to work???? I had no idea how bad I felt before my surgery...now I feel so much better!!! I am laying low...staying in my cube...working non-stop....just trying to be on a even keel...... I am ready to start looking for a new job!!! Any opinions  or suggestions???? Susan  (LUVMISSY)

Susan, So sorry that you are having trouble at work.  I had to be off last year for 3 months because of MRSA sepsis and then work from home for another 3 months...and then took off for my RNY.  When I went back between surgeries, I could tell the managers were mad at me for being off so long-maybe not exactly mad, but disgrundled.  When I got back, none of my work or reports had been kept up, and I was told I have 4 weeks to catch up 6 months worth of work or I couldn't take off for my RNY. I think it is a combination of being off and losing weight when they can't.  It is human nature, especially with women, to be envious of that,  I'll bet that is what is going on.  They probably don't want you to quit, they want to punish you for a little while for your "vacation". Marilyn

You are entitled to privacy...  hello?  HIPAA??  I would not worry about it.  I know it hurts, but you know...  they are just upset at one of two things... 1.  they didn't want you to be gone in the first place... would rather you be at work slaving away doing their work...  and now treating you poorly for it.  This happened to me 2.  they are jealous Either way, you stood up for your health, did something that will forever impact you, and you have every right to do that!  just wait til your self esteem gets so great, and they wont know how to handle that one!  no more Miss Pushover... no more bend over backwards to kiss their sorry a**es! You have done great, you are beautiful.  Stand proud, sis!

Its good to vent, I'm sorry things are going so bad.  Keep your chin up, you know they say that everything happens for a reason. Well maybe its just life's way of giving you all kinds of new beginnings. I know its hard but keep looking for that window. Its there they always are. 

 

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Hey Daughter!  I'm really sorry we missed you at the Dinner Club this last week!  My advice is simply this... You are doing the right thing!  You have a positive attitude and your health is improving daily.  What more could you do!   Anytime things are going good, there is always someone or something that will be there to put the brakes on!  Every time I have been blessed, Satan rears his ugly head ans throws a monkey wrench in to the mix. Keep your head high!  Keep your faith grounded!  Look where you have come from and just keep marching foward! I know you are going to be OK! Scott/Dad

Susan,           The sad thing is, this is very normal after we have had surgery and others notice that we have lost weight.  I have sent you a PM, I will keep you in my prayers. Shelia

Hon vent on, they have no rite to do that, that is just wrong. Why can't folks be happy for others. It's such a sad world, way to much jealousy. And that is what it is. You have every reason to be proud and stand tall, well as tall as we are. HEHE. But god gives us that rite. They would not like it done to them.  Hon you look absolutely gorgeous, so march right back in there like trina told yesterday, you get more flies with honey then you do vinegar. God loves ya and so do we!!!! Hugs sweetie Barb

Hi Susan, I wanted to send you this. I hope you find it as encouraging and uplifting as I did. Your servant and brother in Him, Doug

NEED WASHING??         

 

A little girl had been shopping with her Mom in Target. She must have been 6 years old, this beautiful red haired, freckle faced image of innocence. It was pouring outside. The kind of rain that gushes over the top of rain gutters, so much in a hurry to hit the earth it has no time to flow down the spout. We all stood there under the awning and just inside the door of the Target.          We waited, some patiently, others irritated because nature messed up their hurried day. I am always mesmerized by rainfall. I got lost in the sound and sight of the heavens washing away the dirt and dust of the world. Memories of running, splashing so carefree as a child came pouring in as a welcome reprieve from the worries of my day.          The little voice was so sweet as it broke the hypnotic trance we were all caught in "Mom let's run through the rain," she said.

 

         "What?" Mom asked.          "Let’s run through the rain!" She repeated.          "No, honey. We'll wait until it slows down a bit," Mom replied.          This young child waited about another minute and repeated: "Mom, let's run through the rain,"          "We'll get soaked if we do," Mom said.          "No, we won't, Mom. That's not what you said this morning," the young girl said as she tugged at her Mom's arm.          This morning? When did I say we could run through the rain and not get wet?          "Don't you remember? When you were talking to Daddy about his cancer, you said, 'If God can get us through this, he can get us through anything!"          The entire crowd stopped dead silent. I swear you couldn't hear anything but the rain. We all stood silently. No one came or left in the next few minutes.         

 

Mom paused and thought for a moment about what she would say. Now some would laugh it off and scold her for being silly. Some might even ignore what was said. But this was a moment of affirmation in a young child's life. A time when innocent trust can be nurtured so that it will bloom into faith.          "Honey, you are absolutely right. Let's run through the rain. If GOD let's us get wet, well maybe we just needed washing," Mom said.          Then off they ran. We all stood watching, smiling and laughing as they darted past the cars and yes, through the puddles. They held their shopping bags over their heads just in case. They got soaked. But they were followed by a few who screamed and laughed like children all the way to their cars.          And yes, I did. I ran. I got wet. I needed washing.          Cir****tances or people can take away your material possessions, they can take away your money, and they can take away your health. But no one can ever take away your precious memories...So, don't forget to make time and take the opportunities to make memories everyday. To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven.         

 

I HOPE YOU STILL TAKE THE TIME TO RUN THROUGH THE RAIN.          They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.

 

 

Do they know this last surgery was for cancer? If not, I think I would tell them and really play it up. Tell them that you were unable to eat since you were so sick and that you are just starting to get your appetite back. See if that doesn't take some of the attitude out of them. If it doesn't, just write them off as the A** H***s they are and move on. If you don't want to tell anyone you had WLS...and it sounds like that would create additional problems if you did...you don't have to. Hubby and I were talking this morning about my situation with my (former) boss and the change in his attitude towards me. Hubby thinks part of the problem may be that I have gone through the most drastic change in my appearance during this second year and that may have created some jealousy problems on the part of (boss's) wife. I honestly hadn't thought of that but in thinking back, the changes in his attitude did start about the time I got my braces off, changed my hair, and made it into a size 10. In really examining it, the smaller I got, the more difficult he became to deal with. I know that his wife was having some physical health issues that were affecting her emotional health as well. His wife had come in to our office last Spring, right after I had gone through the changes mentioned.

Thanks for all of the kind words....thoughts and support....today was a nightmare. My long term goal is to find a job that doesn't involve a bunch of back biting women....I have always thought that nurses eat their young! I have always loved to teach...I am thinking about going back for my Masters and becoming a Nurse Practitioner or possible teach Nursing at one of the area universities. I used to teach a lot when I was at VUMC. Pharmaceutical sales, or medical sales or inservicing medical equiptment, such as pacemakers..cardiac monitors, EKG machines.....etc...is another area I am interested in. Since I have 25 years in Cardiac.  I am not sure I can stand being trapped in a cube on a computer with a head-set on all day long...then taking their stupid abuse too. I am praying about it...I just hope HE shows me the right path for my life. I'll keep my chin up...but hope for a lightning bolt of an answer soon!!!! Susan