PLease help me!!!!!

Hey there, I am so sorry for this post but I have really been dealing with alot of really BAD stress factors here and I really don't know what to do. Things have happened in my personal life that have affected me in a bad way. Used to I would turn to the food. Well now I have found a new favorite.. alchol (sp)!!! I find that it is very sweet and helps me to take the edge off of everything. I can sit here and drink alot. Well for me it is alot. I really don't know how to deal with things without some kind of coping. The drinks usually help me out alot. I feel relaxed and at ease and everything seems better. Where I used to deal with things with food now it has been replaced. I know it is not a good thing but it has happened. About 20 or so years ago I was an alcholich (sp). I really thought I was over that since I had been quit drinking for that long but now there are demons that are arising and here comes the old ways before food was my demon. I have talked with my theripist and she just don't understand where I am coming from. I know you feel like you are getting only half the story but thats all I kinda feel comfortable sharing right now. I just don't know what to do and I am asking for help in this matter. You can pm me and I can explain everything but if I do then I am sure you still won't understand.  None seems to. I think thats my problem....... noone seems to understand where I am coming from. I am sorry to bring all this upom you  all during this time of the year but I have no other option!!!!!  guess I am someone you can say that is asking for help!!!!! Brenda

Brenda,   First and foremost, find another therapist.  If she doesn't understand where you are coming from, then she sucks at her job.  Find someone else to talk to.  Even if you have to go through ten different therapists, then so be it!  That is the most important thing.  Well, even before that, get rid of all the alcohol in your home.  Don't leave anything in your home that could be a temptation.     We don't really need to know the specifics of your difficulties.  We've all been there and we've all had a tendency to replace eating with something else.  Drinking and overshopping are the two most common.     Please find some other help.  It is the most important right now.  Maybe call your surgeon and see if he/she can recommend someone to you.  But don't give up and don't leave it at your therapist not understanding.  They may not be able to personally understand what you are going through, but they should have enough education and training to assist you in your time of need.  I'm a nurse and that would be like me telling a cancer patient, that since I've never had cancer, I can't understand why you are having all this pain or depression or etc.   You get my point.   I will keep you in my prayers and I hope you get the help you need and deserve.  Please take care.

Brenda, I totally agree with Elena.  You do need to find a therapist.  I know how people feel about talking to a stranger about such deep, personal problems, but that's what they are there for and they actually provide a good outlet in processing the stressors of life.  You need to do this and find another addiction (a healthy one, for that fact).  I guess that's why I'm going into counseling for specifically weight loss surgery patients.  I've seen too many people to have the surgery and then turn to a destructive and unhealthy pattern of living or trading out one addicition for another.  I've turned to exercise and actually that is my new "addiction." I may not eat when I'm down due to the surgery, but the exercise really helps when you're stressed.  It also releases the endorphins which make you feel better.  I will be happy to pass along the name of the therapist I've been seeing for almost 6 years. She's excellent and has helped me as I have lived with depression for more than 12 years.  Well, that's my two cents.  I'll get off my soapbox. I will pray for you and hope you are able to cope with all the stresses of life in a healthy way.   -Alyssa

Brenda, I have to agree with all that ELena has said. First, remove the temptations.  Second, find some one different to talk to.  I work in the Mental Health field, and yes, there is some one out there who will understand what you are going through. We will keep you and your family in our prayers.  Take things one day at a time, and remember, tomorrow is a new day.  In fact the next minute can be that change.  We love you and care for you Brenda, you are family and we are there for you! Scott

Brenda, I agree with everything that Scott and Elena have said.. This is critical!  Are you on post?  Go to the chaplain.  Call Dr Steely's office.  I go to that same office and they have been really receptive.  Make SURE they understand you.  There is someone out there for you, I know it.  Get the alchohol out of your house!!!  You are in my thoughts and prayers!  PM me if you would like. Marilyn

 Hi Brenda,   Were you involved with a AA group before? Maybe you could attend some meetings or meet with a group leader. I hear they are all supportive for Alcohol as the group here is for weight loss.  Shelia mentioned the Oprah show Friday, it may be the one where WL patients turn to something else. Not sure, but I have seen that show. You may could even post to the main board to talk with anyone who has turned to alcohol since surgery. Hope you find the answers soon. Special prayers for you, Ellen

Merry Christmas Brenda. I do agree with the others, you should find someone else to talk too if your current therapist is not working for you. I would also suggest getting involved in support groups - weather it is AA or for WLS. Support groups are a great place to vent and understand that others do go through what you go through. Food is an addiction and most people don't even realize that until after this surgery and can not rely on that addiction anymore. So when they need something to cope, they turn to other things like alcohol or sex or shopping. It is just known that can happen. It is not anything to be ashamed of because you are not alone with it. It happens to many people after WLS. At least you recognize it is a problem and now it is time to step up and work on gaining your control back. That is the main thing - you need to get control back over your emotions, body, and health. I know you mentioned you are dealing with a lot in your personal life and hopefully you will find a counselor to help with that as well as your need to drink.  Find other outlets to cope. I know it will be difficult but you made it through WLS so you can make it through  this too. We are all here for you.

Brenda,           How did you stop drinking the first time, do you still have a sponsor?  If not, maybe you should go to an AA meeting, like us here, we can relate to the food addictions, but they can relate to the alcohol addiction.   Please seek this for help, also, I would change therapist if the one you have is not helping you, they may not agree with you, because that may not be what you need, but swaping addictions is not a good thing.  I know what you are going through, because you have shared this with me, but alcohol is not the answer.  Watch Oprah tomorrow, maybe something on her show will hit home, I have not seen it but you never know!!   We are all here for you and you have to STOP drinking, it only masks the problem, when in reality, the problem is still there and the alcohol maybe making it even worse. Shelia