Ponderisms

Susan J.
on 12/5/07 4:55 am - Madison, TN

PONDERISMS * I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. * Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant. * The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement. * There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead. * Life is sexually transmitted. *Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. * The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. * Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs. * Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to? * Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again. * All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism. * In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird.. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal. * How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? * Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink what ever comes out?" * Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt." * Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? * If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? * If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? * Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? * Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? * Do you ever wonder why you read posts like this?

Susan (AKA bilsrib)
300/135/135 - Plastics February 2008 - Dr. Lois Wagstrom

P E A C E - It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.