I Need Help

I don't know what's wrong with me.  I would have been devastated if I hadn't been approved for this surgery, but now that the surgery is scheduled for three weeks from now, I'm in a panic.  I'm not like everyone else here who is so excited and can't wait.  I am terrified and I don't know what I'm terrified of.  I don't know if it's the pain of surgery itself, or is it that "what if I fail again this time", I just don't know what's wrong.  I can't stop eating and worrying. What's wrong with me. Sue

Sue, you are no different from anyone else!  I am excited but terrified also.  from what I have been reading, this is not unusual.  I'm excited because I am getting a great Christmas present of a new life. I'm excited about all the things I will be able to do, that I have not done.  I know this sounds silly, but I take a lot of photos.  I am looking forward to getting on the ground and not hurting when I get up, and don't forget about having assistance to get up!  So, yes I am excited, but terrified!  I'm scared of having a surgery that will alter my insides.  I' scared of the after effects of this surgery.  I'm scared of the unknown!  I told Beth, when I am around other people, I'm OK.   When I'm at home, alone, I am scared s***less! It seems as humans we always focus on the bad, the unknown, this is what scares us!  When is your surgery?  Mine is 12/18.   I'll make a pact with you...I'll be here for you to cry on my shoulder as long as you are there for me to cry also!  But I also want to promise you that I will be the one jumping for joy at your success as well!  That is what support is all about!  As the 3 Musketeers said, "All for one and one for all!" So don't worry, you are human!  Hang in there and PM me if I can be of any help!  Anytime!

Sue, I don't live very far from you.  I am in Sevierville.  I don't have my surgery date yet, but expect to get it next week.  I have put off even going to see a doctor because I was so scared!!!  I finally went because I was soooo miserable.  I am still scared, and will probably be terrified right before surgery!  It is going to take a LOT of prayer to get through this.  I don't think there is a thing wrong with you...it would be abnormal to be unconcerned, I think.

I think everybody reacts different to having this surgery in one way or another.  Me, I was one of the excited couldn't wait to get started on this journey.  I wasn't scared or nervous at all.   I will tell you this.  I have the same doctor as you, and you are in very good, gentle hands.  My surgery and  hospital experience were wonderful all things considered.  I can honestly say that pain was not an issue at all for me.  The pain control in the hospital was done with a self-administered pump, and I felt  no pain.  Dr. Colquitt prescribed a small pain pill for me to take at home, but I did not use the entire prescription.  If I could recommend anything to you that I think helped me, walk, walk, walk.  Start as soon as you can after surgery in the hospital.  I walked the whole floor, over and over until I went home, and I know it made a. difference.  I, too, have worried that I would fail again, but I'm trying very hard to make this work, and I'm hoping for the best.   By the way, the ice chips at Blount Memorial are great, I chewed on them the whole time. Best of luck to you, I know you will do well.   Kelly

Sue,

It is quite normal to be freaked out.  You are facing major surgery, that will change your life forever.  You are really walking into the unknown and as obese people, who use food for support, you are getting rid of your support system as you know it.

We are now your support system and will try to help you get through this.  It is better for you to discuss your feelings than to let them eat at you.

Keep us informed,

Darlene

Thanks for all your posts and encouragement.  I'm trying to get excited about this, but it's just not working.  I really am freaked.  My surgery is Dec. 11, Scott.  One week before yours.  I'll be here for you if you need me but in the meantime, I could use a few prayers to help get me through this. Thanks. Sue

Sue ~  Know that prayers are going up for you already. The next couple of weeks will probably be worse than the surgery itself! If you are concerned (as all of us are, I think) about the pain... I will tell you that I have had several surgeries, (tonsilectomy, "female" surgery, 2 C-sections...)  and this was BY FAR the easiest one to recover from. I felt less pain both while in the hospital and at home, than after any other surgery!   I echo the other response that said "walk, walk, walk!" My nurses told me that the pain that I was feeling was gas and that walking actually helps more than pain reliever. I walked something like 28 laps while in the hospital --- anytime I felt that gas, I got up and walked. It helped SO much! My surgery was on a Tuesday, I came home on Friday morning, and I didn't take any pain medication once I left the hospital! Regarding the concern of failing, know that you are getting a powerful tool! It has been a journey getting you to this point. You know that doing things the way you've always done them didn't produce the desired results. Given this tool, and not much choice (for a while), you have time to create new healthy habits that will become your way of life! I would recommend using the next three weeks to jump-start your new life, rather than waiting for your surgery date. Start upping your water considerably. drink those protein shakes (I drank the slimfast low-carb drinks --- they have 20g of protein and only about 200 calories!) and if you can, start walking. walk up the street and back. in a week, go around the block. the next week, go around twice --- whatever you can do! Then when you get out of the hospital, some of those new lifestyle changes will already have a headstart! Good luck, sweetie! You are in our prayers! What a SUCCESS you're going to be!!            ~ Tara  

First, breath! It might help to make a written list of the things that led you to decide to have the surgery, all the things you can't do now and the health problems you have. Then make a list of the things you want to be able to do as you lose the weight.  Then post the list of things you want to do somewhere where you will see it every day. When you get anxious or discouraged, look at your list and remind yourself of all the things you will be able to do as your weight comes down. Break them into mini goals if you need to. As you fulfill some of those goals, you will be able to mark them off as reminders of how far you have come. Like everyone else has said, it is normal to be nervous. This is a big lifestyle change. The difference this time is that you will not fail. Let me repeat, you WILL NOT FAIL!! We're all pulling for you and we're here anytime you need to talk.