friends

Just a question to throw out there...but has anyone had friendships end because the friends in question are jealous of your new life, success  (post-op), and new frame of mind? Or am I the only one with these toxic people in my life? Just curious. 

If people do that...they aren't really friends.  Trust me sweetie, there will be plenty of folks who support you and wish you well.  Don't waste your time worrying over a few sour grapes.

Big smile!

Freddie

I've never personally had the experience. However, I never had very many friends... no one wanted to be friends with a fat girl... at any rate, what your experiencing isn't very uncommon at all. I've seen lots of posts and have read lots of stories related to loss of friendships or jealous family members b/c of an individual's weightloss.  My own mother made a snide comment about me being snobby since I had lost weight, which she has since apologized for. No one likes change, especially those changes for the betterment of others. It does bring out snotty and hateful remarks from others. I think these kind of people have always thought they were better in some sort of way just because you were heavier; thus making the person feel better about who they are as an individual. I could always imagine hearing people say... "at least I'm not as big as her" As long as you were heavy, they were better than you. Now you're not heavy; you've taken that feeling away from them and they hate you for it. But that is just my take on it. Personally, I would be hurt by it, but then realize that I really don't need unsupportive and mean people in my life to continuly bring me down. Trust me... you're not the only one. I hope things get better!

Yes, this happened to me.  I had two ladies (using that loosely) tell me I wasn't as much fun since I lost weight.  I guess since my life no longer revolved around them and where we were going to eat I wasn't much fun.

I find that I had quite a few "eating buddies" and not as many friends.  I have developed the best friends I have ever had from support groups like this one.

Like someone else said, they weren't true friends after all.

Just let them go, you will be better off without them, because like you said they are toxic.

Darlene

I haven't even had the surgery yet and there are family members as well as church members that have fallen away, but I really don't care because if they really cared about me and for me as much as they pretended, they would support me. I have a cousin that told me out of her own mouth that after I have the surgery I was going to be smaller than she is and that she was going to be mad at me. How childish is that?! It hasn't made me regret my decision thus far and it will not in the long run. I'm doing this for me and my health and no one else. It is sad that people feel the way they do when it comes to certain situations.




Diane

Yes, and I am not even very far post op.  I just ignore them.  It is easier than dwelling on it.  I am sorry that you are having that issue too.

So far, I haven't had much flak over getting ready for WLS, but my preacher isn't too thrilled with me having surgery.  In fact, he brought in a visitor from Alabama that claims that he went to a special prayer session to lose weight and is now losing weight.  It seemed very suspicious that the guy Testified for the 2nd time about his amazing loss.  It's like they were saying.. just pray Rob.. and you will lose weight.. dont have WLS. Pretty much for others, I pretty much have to justify my reasons for having the surgery, which gets old quick. Rob

I haven't had that problem with the friends. I didn't have many to begin with. Like April said.... Noone ever wanted to be friends with the fat girl. I have had to explain over and over to family why I did this. Before the surgery I think I told my family time and time again. Like Rob says.... It got old very quick. It was like I was talking them into it when I was the one doing it.

I am sorry you have to go through this. Look at it this way.... Atleast now you know how they really are. Try not to let it bother you. I know it is hard but you deserve so much more than that. Be happy in the fact that you have lost so much weight and you are healthy. Forget them and smile!!! Brenda