Suffering from Depression

I have been suffering from depression for the first time since surgery.  I have been having some family issues with my Mother and I do not want to go into any details, but I know that she is the main reason I began eating and gaining weight when I was 10 or 11.  I have not spoken or seen her in a couple of years and she does not know that I had surgery.  The funny thing is she is telling people that my Sister-in Law saw and talked to me and "Boy, have I put on the weight" .  This is just one of the lies that she is spreading among many more, she is a very cruel person.  I know the things she is doing is wrong and not true, but it does not keep others from believing her, because she has always been a very manipulative person and for some reason able to get away with this type of treatment of me.  The problem now is that I can not eat to help cope with the stress of her and I really want to in a way, but because I can't I now do not want to eat at all, I have completely changed, I just don't want food, not even my "CRACK". (AchievOne) they turn my stomach.  I have had a very upset stomach that started Sunday, before this situation with my Mom, but now I do not even want to eat. I have missed the past two days from work, in which I have cried, slept, not able to focus on anything, and been very sick at my stomach.  I am trying to drink my liquids, but today, I am not doing very well at that either.  Please keep me in your prayers, I am really having difficulites with this, I started not to post this, because so many people do not understand when a parent is cruel and you can not get along with them, but trust me I have put up with years of cruel treatment from her and I thought I had finally been able to escape, to find out that it is all starting again has really began to play a number on me!!! 

Oh Honey, {{{{{HUGS}}}}}  I understand your pain.  Mine is a bit different, but close enough to know that mothers always know where to hurt their children.  Have you called a therepist yet? Or someone else you could to talk to openly.  Know that all of here at OH and the TN board are here for you and would gladley lend an ear.  I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Beth

I know what you mean.  I have a friend that says the same thing... when she is stressed, she is unable to eat.  Sometimes I can't eat either when I have a lot on my mind or am upset, or just anxious (even over good things).   But I do think you may need to get into therapy. I know it can be expensive, time consuming, but it will help you.  I am glad that I started.  I have good days, bad days, but at least I can talk about it with someone who knows what they are doing and can lead me to see things about myself and others that I could't have otherwise....

awww, sweetie *big hugs* I can completey relate to your relationship with your mother. I have a similar relationship with mine, though I choose not to get inovlved with her drama and life. I call her every once in a while so she can't go around saying that I never call! She lives two miles from me and I've seen her once since christmas. You need to stop letting her control your emotions...you stated she drove you to turn to food during your childhood...now that she is still controlling by upsetting you; thus, causing other problems such as a sick/upset stomach which can lead to some serious problems for gastric bypass patients. By the way, did you ever call your doctor??? You could very well have an ulcer. At any rate, something that I have found to help with my "relationship" with my mother is to put up a barrier. Like I said, I choose when I want to interact with her. I don't let her guilt trip me into anything. I put my foot down and I spoke my mind and confronted her...she said some really mean hateful things. But I felt so much better after telling her how I felt. I hate that I don't have your typical mother daughter relationship and I envy those who do. But this is what I have to do for my own state of mind and mental health. You need to eat/drink something shelia. You're going to get dehydrated and end up in the hospital. Please take care of yourself.

Shelia,   I Feel so bad for you right now You are such a good person to everyone she  does'nt know what she is missing Please Please if there is anything I can do please call me. I'm in the phone book that we did up. Even if you need to come over sit by the pool and have a glass of tea and just cry or chill what ever you need ok we are there for ya.  Will be thinking about ya in my prayers tonite.big huggs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

I'm so proud of you for posting this. I know it was hard for you. I know too that you need to know that we all care about you. You are a much better person than you allow yourself to believe. Your mother doesn't know the real Shelia. You have done the right thing in separating yourself from someone who causes you such pain. I think, in some way, she knows that you are stronger than her and that's why she does these things to try and bring you down to her level. You are better than that. You are raising a wonderful young man who is very proud of you. If there is any way possible, I believe you would benefit greatly from some sessions with a psychologist. This pain goes very deep and has been with you for a long time. You have medicated it with food until now and you can't do that any more. You need someone with the experience to help you find a way to deal with it. You know I love you dearly. I hate that you are suffering like this. I know that, physically, this must be dealt with before you wind up in the hospital. You can't go on not being able to eat or drink. Did you ever call Dr. Spaw? I'll give you a call tomorrow when I can talk. I don't know what time that will be. Probably not until after I get off.

Hi Shelia, Sorry you are going through depression right now.  I hope you find a way to get past it.  Maybe it would help if you a write a letter to her telling her how you feel and how she has treated you over the years.  Maybe she does not realize it, it's just the way she has always been and some people just don't want to listen and be judged, whether they are in the wrong or not.  Maybe if she reads it in words she will realize her behavior and attempt to make a change.  In the letter you should let her know that you are not going to let your hurt you anymore and that she has no power over you.  The most important thing is that you don't even need to send the letter to her but that you write down everything and release it, put it in a box and let it be the end of it.  And start moving on with your life and be the kind of mom you never had and don't let the past control your future.   Best of luck to you.  Lisa

Bless your heart Shelia,  Just remember you have a lot of true friends here. Hope you feel better soon. Try to get some food down, like the others said you sure don't want to end up in the hospital.    Hugs & prayers being sent your way, Ellen

awww sweet pea!  Sorry for what all you are going thru.  I agree with all the others.  With all that you have going on in your life, you need some counseling and asap.  Counseling really helped me determine what got me to where I was and how to deal now with stress.  You could give yourself an ulcer without any coping skills.  Hugz to you and know that I am praying for you (and that I have been there!).

 You have got a friend......right here........just down the road a bit..in Humboldt, TN.........Honey, Don't suffer anymore.......pick up the phone and call a doctor....... There is good medicine.....available to help you.........I have depression...........have had for years.........but I tell folks.....I have depression  DEPRESSION DOESN'T HAVE ME!!.............. I have had multipulative people in my life ..in the past.......... we can't control other people ......we can only control ourself. One day the ones who hurt us will have to answer to a higher power........... We have to LEARN TO LET GO AND LET GOD!!!.(((HUGS)))...................Leticia