Fridays Laugh.
Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam.
The last question was: "Name seven advantages of "Mothers Milk."
Worth 70 points or none at all.
One student, who had partied late the night before, was frustrated
to think of seven advantages.
He wrote:
1. It is perfect formula for the child.
2. It provides immunity against several diseases.
3. It is always at the right temperature.
4. It is inexpensive.
5. It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.
6. It is always available as needed.
And then, the student was stuck. Finally, in desperation just before the
bell rang indicating the end of the test, he wrote:
7. It comes in such cute containers.
He got an "A".
OLD people have problems that you haven't even considered yet!
An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of
his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar
home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."
The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave
him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor
asked what happened and the man explained, "Well, doc, it's like this -
first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left
hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her
right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth,
first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even
called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both
hands, then an arm pit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees,
but still nothing.
The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbour?"
The old man replied,
"Yep, none of us could get the jar open."
A gentleman had a serious problem. He made several attempts to enter the men's washroom, but found it to be occupied. A lady noticed that he was walking strangely, taking small steps, and with a look of pain and anxiety on his face.
"Sir," she said, "the ladies room is unoccupied. You may use it only if you promise not to touch the buttons on the wall."
He was about to explode, and would have promised anything, so he agreed to her terms. The relief was pure joy, and as he sat there, savoring the feeling, he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch. Three white buttons were identified with the letters: WW, WA and PP, and there was one red button labeled ATR.
Who would really know if he touched them? He could not just sit there and resist a challenge like this, so he pushed the WW button. Warm Water was sprayed gently on his bottom. Such a nice feeling came over him, the men's washroom didn't have nice things like this. Anticipating even greater pleasure, he pressed the WA button.
Warm Air replaced the warm water, wafted and swirled about, gently drying his underside.He knew what he was going to do when the warm air stopped, and without hesitation, he pressed the PP button. A large Powder Puff caressed his bottom, adding a fragrant smell of spring flowers to his unbelievable pleasure.
The ladies room was far more than a restroom, it was a place of tender loving pleasure! He could hardly wait for the powder puff to quit. When it did he pressed what he knew was going to be the ultimate joy!
He knew he was in the hospital room as soon as he opened his eyes. A nurse was staring down at him with a smirk on her face. "What happened? How did I get here? The last thing I remember, I was in the ladies restroom!"
"You pushed too many buttons," replied the nurse, as her smirk expanded to a grin. "That last button marked ATR is an Automatic Tampon Remover.
Keep them coming - these are hilarious!
~Amber~ 
Most Active
Recent Topics
