Do you monitor your familys food?

Since having surgery, do you monitor your familys food and what they are eating. I am getting really bad with my husband. And he hates it! I do not know how to stop. My husband never told me not to order all of the crap I was eating before I had surgery and gaining weight. He never made me fell bad about what I ate or said anything (and he has always been small). But, since I had surgery, I find myself "getting on him" about some of the stuff he eats. Not in a mean way but it just bothers me so bad. I just say stuff like "well wouldn't you rather have". I do not know why I am like this. I just want him to eat healthier so he stays healthy. I am not worried about him gaining weight as much as I just want him to eat and be healthy. He always says, just let me eat my food and you eat yours. How do I get over this and not put my food habits on him? In my head, I know trying to tell him what to eat is a good thing but in my heart I know it is a bad thing because he never did that to me. A vegetable to my husband is corn. Thats it - there is not other such thing as a vegetable in his eyes. For instance, we went to Cracker Barrel and he ordered a dinner that comes with 3 vegtables. He ordered, mac & Cheese; Mashed Portates and a baked potato. TWO Potatos! I pleaded with him to let me call the waiter back over to change one of his potatos but he wouldn't have it (he just laughed at me for being so infatuated with it). I still can not get over it and that was a week ago! We went to eat with my family this past weekend and I pretty much told him what to order and my family was like - Misty just let the boy get what he wants. I know it embarasses him but I do not know how to stop this madness I have! Please somebody tell me I am not crazy for acting like this and then tell me how to bite my tongue and not order for him -which I have been known to do! I do not want to be this way but I can not stop it.

Hey hon, I am sorta the same way especailly regarding my daughters. My oldest is 8 and granted she is very tall for her age I am concerned about her weight. I just don't want her to experience any of the issues I had growing up as an overweight child. It totally infuriates me when my ex sends home brownies and junk food for her to eat. I have expressed my concern to him and he seems to think it is no big deal, but he is not the one who has to deal with her when she is crying over her weight and thinks she is fat. I am stuck really I don't want her to think I am baggering her at all but at the same time I want to support her and help her to eat healthier.

Juanita. I know what you mean. I have a 7 year old neice who means the world to me (she is the only child in my family). She is tall but I worry about her eating habits and she isnt even my kid! She doesn't eat vegetables and you can not force her to try anything new. All she knows is ckn fingers and fries. In fact, for dinner, they cook there food and then they make her a whole different meal that includes a kids cuisne ckn and fries meal or get her mcDonalds because she will not hardly eat anything they cook. Sometimes she can get a cheeseburger and chicken fingers as one meal. It irratates me. She throws a fit if you try to make her even take a bite of something else. I do pretty good with keeping my mouth shut about her because she isn't mine but I have made it plain that they need to make her eat somewhat heathier things (or at least what they cook for themselves). But with my husband, he is mine so I do not know how to control my thoughts about what he eats. I do not want it start effecting our relationship. I guess because I have been overweight an unhealthy, I just do not want to see my family (or anyone else for that fact) go through it. I just have to find a new way to go about it. I just have to figure out how or figure out how to keep my mouth shut. Misty

Misty welcome back. The thought that came to my mind is just don't go out to eat. Cook healthy and don't let him know it is healthy. My husband use to be that about veggies but he eats more things now. He is also thin and he eats very small portions. Lee Lee

I have a grandson like this. You think you have a hard time keeping your mouth shut about your niece??? This isn't even my biological grandchild so I have to be even more careful what I say. I have gotten my grandson (he's 9) to try new foods when he is with me by getting him to help me prepare the food. I am always amazed that children will try foods that they helped prepare when ordinarily they would not touch them. I know too many parents think their child will out grow the bad eating habits. Both of my children were raised with 2 choices when it came to meals...eat what was fixed or go hungry. They were served healthy food and a wide variety. If there was something that they truly did not like after trying it, I would not make them eat any more of it. I would only introduce one new thing at a meal so even if it turned out that they hated the new food there was plenty for them to eat. Most of the time they found that they liked the new item. Both of them now eat a wide variety of foods and cuisines. My husband is the picky one.

Misty, I can not do anything with my husband, he is going to eat what he wants and as much of it as he wants, and I have learned not to say a word. However, with my son, I feel it is my responsibility to help get his weight down and show him a better and much healthier way to make choices. This has not come easy and without oposition, however the oposition was not with my son, it was with my Mother-in-law. I had been explaining to her that we were going to work on Dale's weight and therefore, I asked her to stop bringing the snack cakes, chips, crackers, and candy to our house. She did not understand or at least, she would not stop bringing them. I would ask her to take it back home when she did, but to later find that she would leave it in the kitchen instead. She even brought things over the day I came home from the hospital after my WLS. This still did not stop her, she would send it over with Dale's grandfather or uncle as well. I am going to pre-warn you, this was not nice, but I had my limit and the final time she brought it over, I found it in the kitchen again after she went out the door. I got it from the kitchen and she was in the car about to leave and I threw it out the door, not at her, but into the yard, I yelled out to her to either take it with her and not ever bring it back, or it would stay in the yard for anyone else to get, because it was not coming back into my home. She got out picked it up and left......she has never brought it back since!! I know this seems drastic, but that is what I had to do to get her to understand the seriousness, nothing else worked and I knew that I was the one responsible for Dale not her. Dale has now gone from 196 to 172 and doing great!!! He is 5'5 and I believe he is just as proud of himself as I am!! He now tells her when she continues to offer it to him, that HE does not want it!!! Hope that helps some and you all do not have a bad picture of me in your book, but I did and do not want my son to go through what I did in my life!! Shelia

My husband has slowly been coming around to eating better. He is a fast food junky though....I tell him he can have it..but only in moderation. Instead of getting a Big Mac.. he just gets a regular cheeseburger..etc. Which still isn't good, but better than what it could be. I too splurge on the occassional cheeseburger, though I can never finish all of it with the bun. Yesterday for dinner, he wanted a salad with a little bit of left over steak... though the dressing he chose was crammed packed with calories, he did choose a salad. Slowly but surely... he's coming around

I'm that way with Mike. and I know he hates it. But, he can be that way with me too. We've both had gastric so its different than a normal family with a gastric bypass pt... Yet, my sis in law is on low carb. I made mock lasagna & sugar free cake for yesterday's (my) party. I dont think she really cared to have it. Didn't hurt my feelings. I just figured, if she wanted it she woudl eat it. I guess she's rather have potato salad.

Thanks everyone for your stories. It helps me to know I am not or at least not the only one that is. I am going to work a lot harder on keeping my mouth shut (at least to my husband - I might have to write my frustrations in a journal or something so it doesn't eat me alive!). I have always tried to cook a medium meal at my house - half of something he likes and is not really great for me and half of something healthy and that I eat. Of course, then I don't eat his part and I can't get him to eat my healthy part (like salad or veggies). But I think I will start finding new healthy meals I can make at home that he will eat and not ever know how healthy it is. He seemed to like the low carb pizzas I made. So, I just have to find other alternatives. Thanks agian. I appreciate it! Misty