One year out and not happy

I'm coming up on my one year anniversary and I should be extatic, but all I feel is disappoinment in myself . I was well on my way to being down close to 100lbs wich is the goal that I set for myself for one year out. I guess it was a foolish goal b/c just as things seemed to be on the right track my life got really hectic and depressing. I've at this point only lost about 50lbs and it was closer to 60 but the holidays screwed me up and I haven't been able to get the weight back off. Life has been so busy since the holidays that I haven't lost any more weight since November. That's 6 months with ZERO progress !!! I even gained some weight back after the holidays. I went through a period of depression b/c of job and home issues which I'm sure didn't help, I decided to go back to school (which has added money stress), I've fallen back into old habits of eating out of boredom or depression (even though what I eat now is healthy for me, still not good), and I can't seem to recommit myself and make it stick (everytime I try I feel like I get no support from the hubby, it's either "don't eat that" or "eat it if you want to, it's not gonna kill you") I don't know what to do and I refuse to get fat again! He won't exercise with me, neither one of have the time really. I go to work, come home, make dinner, straighten my house, get ready for the next days work, and I'm in bed early with no time to spare or spend on myself. I started taking "the pill" again, which I think has contributed to the problems I'm experiencing. I can't even find a local support group that I can go to in order to get back on track ( I live in clarksville and there doesn't seem to be one, I don't have the time or money to go back and forth to nashville.) I'm at a loss at this point and I don't know what to do . I want to be happy when I go in for my yearly check up at the end of the week and I don't see that happening. Can someone please help me!?! I have fallen so far off the wagon that at this point, I'm running behind it. I'm dying here!

Hi Tamela. First, do not be discouraged with your weight loss. You have lost 50 pounds in a year and have kept that off. That is major and really good. You probably would have not been able to do that without this surgery. I grew up in Clarksville until I moved here - north of Nashville about 6-7 years ago. I believe there is a support group at the Gateway. You should check into that. When you get in a slump like this, the support groups, including this one online, does really help. Use them. I understand the depression issues (most of us probably do). It will definatley detour you. I know you have a lot going on but you really have to learn that you have to take care of yourself first and foremost. Do something nice for yourself once in a while. Besides, how can you take care of anyone else if you are not taking care of yourself. I used to never do anything for myself. I never took care of myself. Finally, after having this surgery, I try to do more for myself and it makes me much more happier (especially in my marriage). You need to go out with a friend one night or go shopping for yourself or whatever it is that will make you happy. Stay busy. Start focusing on everything you have accomplished and just know that you have a lot more in you to accomplish one step at a time. I see a lot of of what you are going through in me and what I have gone through. This past year has been a life changing event for me and I have learned a lot about myself and changing who I was. So, if nothing else, get into support groups and start focusing on yourself more. If you ever want to talk, email me! Misty

Tamela, There is a support group in Clarksville. It meets the 4th Monday of the month at 6pm in the Cumberland Room at Gateway Hospital. When you enter the hospital, there are signs directing you to the Cumberland Room. This meeting is for Lap Band and RNY patients. I think you would benefit greatly by getting involved with this group. I've been to one of their meetings and plan on going back. It was very informative and a great group of people. Do you have a book of post surgery instructions from your surgeon? Get that out and read it again. Go back to the basics. Those rules are still going to work for you even at a year out. I'm sure you are frustrated right now but you can do this.

Tamela, You have taken a big step at this time, you reached out and asked for help!!! You can do this, you just need to get back up on the Losers bench and get back to the basics. You can do this, and your doctor maybe able to help provide you with additional information. Susan has been to the Clarksville support group and if you have any questions, I am sure that she would be more than willing to help you .

I agree with Shelia, stop kicking yourself. You know what has happened now change it. Easier said than done, but the past is gone and there is nothing you can do to change it. Take each day by itself and do the best you can. Good luck and I hope the support group works out for you. Also, let the house work go every night and take a little time for you. I gained 60 #s back and am struggling to get back on track. I have lost 5 #s so far. It is harder now, but not impossible. Take care of yourself. Darlene

Hey Tamela. I have a thought to share with ya. I, too, have had the mentality that I want to go into my check ups with my surgeon and be able to show how well I have done for them. In all actuality, we aren't trying to show them what all we did with this tool that was given to us... they are there to help US! Don't go in feeling ashamed and not wanting to talk to your doc... go in saying "this is what is going on and I need you to help me..." They are there to help and have a great knowledge of changes you can make and steps that can be taken. Best to ya!