Excuse my crazy rant.........put here's more.........

I can't believe I wrote what I did..........but I have been very frustrated these past few weeks. I am coming to the belief that this is just who I am. That by accepting this it will put an end to all the feelings of failure and disgust I have at not being able to manage my weight. I have not lived since 2001; I have been stuck not able to move ahead because I keep expecting change. Thanks for all your good wishes and prayers. I'm just not sure what I am going to do. I pretty much don't understand the purpose of continuing to believe something that is never going to be a possibility. And yes, I go to and have gone to counseling. I also am on medication for my "mood". Therapy's answer is to keep going ....maybe that's insanity.

Keith, This is the best place to come to rant, rave, shout, share...whatever. Don't worry about it! I can't speak for everyone, but I'm pretty sure we have all been in your situation or one very similar. Just keep faith and don't give up!

Yes Keith, I agree with April, I am pretty sure that we have all felt similar to what you are feeling now. I know what you mean when you say that you have not lived since 2001, I have been there and it is not a great place to be, because you do feel so alone and that nobody understands what you are going through. This group is a wonderful group of individuals that are willing to help with advice the best we can so feel free to share your feelings with us anytime, that is why we are here, not to judge. I will continue to hold you in my prayers and we will pray that the answer will come soon. Shelia

Keith, I agree with April... I think we have all been there... know the frustration of being overweight, not happy, depressed, sad, lonely, madder than he!! because insurance won't give us what we deserve and need to live a better life, madder at ourselves for getting this way in the first place... so many different feelings, and its hard to deal with them... We are probably the best people to rant and rave to... we don't mind if you want to share with us. I hope and pray that things will change in your life and that truly a miracle will happen to help get you on a road to peace and happiness.

Have you applied for some kind or any kind of assistance??? I have been on the OH board for over a year and have looked up many profiles and patient testimonies from weight loss patients and have noticed Tenncare has paid for weight loss surgeries for some of them ...but you need to state your needs and stick with it no matter what .. .... your weight and your depression ... what about social security disability??? and medicare??? you certainly seem to qualify .. you need to get some kind of financial help and medical help so you can move forward and stop beating your self up..-- you need to call, call, call and always(this is a biggy) ask and write down who you are talking to and what they said . send in any kind of information they need to process your claims~.keep a notebook handy with the dates, times, names and what was said .. You must fight for yourself there is a whole world out there and it it all waiting for you .. You are on a missioin~~~~~Do not get discouraged and you are not alone Please tell everyone and anyone you need help now!! Tell them you can not walk and your have tremendous amounts of swelling and also anxiety. be sure to tell them any other physical and or mental problems you have .your physical and mental state in not good .. Yes , there may be hurdles in the way but that is how it is and you will find you have the gumption and the spirit to carry and see it thru ((((( BIG HUG))))) . How are you paying for meds anyway ?? sometimes many of these "mood " meds can backfire.. especially if you mix them with others . they also can make you very sluggish .please be very ,very, careful, you need to have a clear, sharp, mind to get your self up and going so you can speak up for yourself!!! Arianna .... Bless you!

Hi Keith! Like everyone else said, this is the best place to rant. We all know exactley what you are going through in our own way. This WLS ride is very emotional and takes a lot out of you. Only you know what is best for you. If you want to have this surgery, then put all of your efforts into it and do not give up. You deserve to live a long and healthy life. Being unhealthy is not who you are. That is just a symptom and it can be fixed so that you can finally live to be you. Please do not think about being overweight and unhealthy is all that you are because that is just not true. I am sorry to hear that you lost your insurance. Is is possible that you can self pay (like take from a 401K or take a loan out)? Or can you get on tenncare or medicaid? Just keep fighting and doing what you have to to take care of yourself. It may take longer than you want it too but it will happen when it is supposed to happen. Just keep striving on. And if you do not want to go the surgical route - that is ok too. Only you can make that decision and you need to be happy with whatever decision you make. I wish you all the best and if there is anything we can do for you just let us know. Misty