Sorry I missed the Party!

I am Soooooooooo...sorry, I forgot all about it. I had such a BLESSED TIME with Dr Spaw on Friday and after my last consult with him Friday, the party completely left my mind. My paperwork is being sent to my insurance company Monday morning and Dawn told me it would take up to two weeks for Aetna to approve it, then I'll be scheduled for surgery. I cried in Dr Spaw's office Friday and he COMPLETELY reassured me and preached to me in a good way. He took all the negativity out of my mind, that all I could think about when I left was going to join Curves and then when I got there they were closed, due to a womens conference downtown. But that didn't stop me, because I joined this morning then went to lunch with my husband and kids. I had such a good day, I forgot all about the party. Sorry ladies! I'll make it next time. Alyssa, I hope you saved the blouse for me, I'll see you at the next support group meeting, bring it with you, please. I'm so excited, I'm on my way ladies! I ate so much today, trying to eat what I can before it's all taken away is what I felt. I only have about 4 weeks left between the insurance approval and the pre surgery diet. Has anyone gained any weight prior to having the surgery, because now all of a sudden I want to eat everything that I know I'll never be able to eat again. Help!!

Tonya, first of all...I'm sorry you couldn't come to the party...it was so fun. Alyssa ended up getting lost and didn't make it but she posted that she has your top. Second...congrats on such a wonderful appt. with your surgeon. It sounds like you are in good hands. Now, third...please don't get mad but I'm going to preach a little here. We all went through the feelings you are having about food, but you said something that disturbs me a little. You say, "I want to eat everything that I know I'll never be able to eat again." Please, please, please do not go into this thinking this way...that is setting yourself up for failure. Yes, there may be foods that you CHOOSE to not eat because they may trigger a binge, but once you make it to your goal weight, you can enjoy most anything if you do it wisely. I can honestly say that if I had to bannish one thing forever it is only carbonation...to risky and painful, but other than that, I am going to eat what I want. Now, before anyone wants to burn me at the stake, let me explain. We can eat what we want, BUT we can't eat it in the amounts we used to and we can't eat all day...but, when done wisely, we can enjoy a bite or two of anything. Point in fact...my favorite candy is cordial cherries. I thought I'd never eat them again but guess what? They make them in sugar free so I CAN have one every blue moon. I love cornbread dressing...I can't eat a plate of it, but I will enjoy a couple of bites at Thanksgiving...Is this making sense? What I want you to take to heart is that if you look at this journey in absolutes, it makes it so much harder. So don't think you will never eat something again...just think that when you are ready, at your goal, you will once again enjoy them in controlled moderation. Good luck with everything and please keep us all posted. We are here for you and will do whatever it takes to help you succeed!!! Oh, and yes, I gained three pounds prior to surgery...but thankfully I lost them on the liquid diet.

Hi Kym! I'm new here but I just wanted to say thank you for this message! I, too, have been trying to eat everything I have ever loved before I have my surgery. You have certainly opened my eyes to the process and to the fact that I am setting myself up for a mess! Just a note to say thank you and I always enjoy reading your posts.

Thanks Freddie, you are in Murfreesboro...you ought to come to our get-togethers! I'm glad something I said helped...that's what we are all here for!

OK... let me say that I DID eat everything before surgery. I went through the 3 mos weight loss program, lost 25 lbs and gained 14 of it back saying BYEBYE to my fave foods., I did not regret it. Having said that, I did not regret it even after my surgery. NOW LET ME SAY: having stalled and plateud, I REGRET IT NOW. I only have 9 lbs to goal. 14 of them are sitting back on my body because of my friggin STUPIDITY! Yes those 3 weeks of mexican food every single night, along with a sopapilla were wonderful. But hey it was wonderful becoming obese these last 15 yrs of my life, too, but that is what put me in need of medical intervention, aka WLS. I would say if you want to say goodbye, say goodbye. We can't tell you not to do it. I was plenty ready for surgery, have done great after surgery...., and maybe, and I might get stoned for saying, just maybe part of reallky what has helped is that I did say goodbye... it was my final farewell., But for me, now that my mind is made up, it is farewell. I dont plan on returning there. Who can say for sure? But I will say that now, with those stubborn nine pounds, and having put 14 back on, I could have been 5 lbs below goal RIGHT NOW! Dag gonnit!!

Tonya, Don't think you'll never be able to have foods you enjoy ever again, because you will. I did the same thing... I had the "last supper" syndrome for an entire month prior to surgery and it applied to all meals and food in between. I gained 6 pounds. I absolutely agree with Kym. And I too will probably get stoned and if my surgeon ever saw me say this he'd probably $%$%# a brick! lol ...but after surgery (of course not immediately) a few bites of something won't hurt. For me, if someone tells me I can't have something I really want....it makes me want it even more - leading to having more than I should... almost like binge eating. Scary I know! So I will have a few bites. Denying yourself something, in my opinion, is unhealthy. Now, I'm not saying go free-nilly on crap....still follow the rules...primarily - protein is ALWAYS first! I'm guilty of indulging probably more than I should when it comes to things like that but also you need to keep in mind, you'll be exercising too. At least I hope you will be. When I do have bad eating days and I define a bad eating day as having a couple of bites of something I shouldn't have like a couple bites of mac n cheese or mashed taters..something along those lines then I'll add 10-15 minutes to my workout.. I typically can burn 100 calories in 10 minutes. But I truly believe that I wouldn't have gotten as far as I have without exercise. I have been eating what I want since probably 6 months out. But you know, you'll find that a lot of the things that you really like before..just don't appeal to you anymore or they make you ill feeling lol As for the exercise, I only made it to the gym once last week and I feel like blah and I know it is because I didn't make time for myself to go to the gym. Not only does it benefit you physically...but mentally to. After a good workout, I feel my best. I'm even more energetic! I absolutely absolutely HATE...HATE doing it... but the feeling after is so worth it! Also, even if you do have a rotten crappy day food wise...still go to the gym. Prior to surgery... when I would diet and have a bad eating day.. I'd tell myself I already screwed up so there would be no point in exercising...well let me tell you..exercise! I do have trigger foods that make me want to eat nonstop - chips, crackers, pretzels. I do have these things, but not very often...and then I feel so guilty for eating them, I will really push myself at the gym. But if you really learn to gauge your body, pay attention to triggers and your emotions, and incorporate exercise, you can really learn how to balance what you eat and your weight loss/gain. At least this has been the case for me. It may be completely different for everyone else. Tonight, I'm having Outback for dinner... I'll have a small slice of bread that they give you, a few bites of the house salad with tangy tomato low cal dressing (my fav) and I'll order the sirloin off the kid's menu (its about 3 oz. from what I was told). So yeah, I'll have some bread...but its not the whole loaf they give you (which I could eat a loaf and a half before surgery plus my meal). I guess in a round about way I hope I've answered your question... probably got a lot more info than you wanted..but I tend to ramble and on and on I go lol But, if you have any more questions or just want to share something about life in general...just drop me a line!

We missed you Tonya! I am so glad you had such a wonderful visit with Dr. Spaw though. Didn't I tell you he was easy to talk to?! I have to jump on the "trying to eat what I can before it's all taken away" and eating "everything that I know I'll never be able to eat again." Nothing has been taken away from me. I pretty much eat what I want. At Thanksgiving dinner I had turkey, dressing, cranberry sauce, sweet potato, squash casserole & green beans. I only had a small bite of everything but the turkey and I ate turkey first but I was able to enjoy all of my favorite holiday foods. I even had a bite of pumpkin pie! It has been the same at every holiday and family get together, I eat "some" of whatever I want making sure to focus first on protein. I am absolutely satisfied with my little bite of everything else. *when I say "small bite" I mean baby spoon bite and I savor it. I chew that bite very well to get maximum flavor out of it before I swallow. As for the foods that I don't eat anymore...I have chosen to no longer eat them. Usually because they just don't taste good to me anymore. Why eat something that doesn't taste good? Some of the foods I've given up don't sit well in my new tummy. Trust me, once you get sick on a food, it will be a lo-o-o-ong time before it appeals to you again. The surgery didn't change my love of food. Instead it has given me control over my appetite so I can love me as well. Food is now fuel instead of a drug.

Thanks Ladies! You all have given me such good advice. I'm too hard on myself. I'm making it seem as it's the end of the world, trying to eat everything in site. I'm glad I have you all to go to in times like these. I know I don't post much, but I have two small children to attend to when I get home at 7:30pm. My husband does a great job of getting them feed and bathed, but when I get home it's time to read, sing and hear all the wonderful stories of the day. My little ones are 1 and 5 and a blessing to me, as I lost 5 before I got these two. Therefore when I do get to stop in to post, it's quick so, don't forget about me and thanks for being there when I need advice.