Please oh please let it be soon!

Hey all! Ok, much thanks to all of you for enduring my impatience. I woke up today with a huge list of things I need to do. I just talked to MetLife and thanks to Sheila and Susan, sorry I didn't get to talk to you yesterday Susan, but I better understand my benefits and feel better.... way better! I have a call in to my Doctor and need to be brutally honest with him. I come in and try so hard to put on this tough, happy, superwoman act and really what I wish I could tell him is that I barely have the energy to get a shower and get dressed everyday. I do and then I want to sleep. I have severe anxiety about work because I know I will have to park on the hill... walk in and that then I am already exhausted and then have to sit in this chair that is soooo uncomfortable that I wanna cry and by the end of the day I am so miserable. I hate being stared at and wondering what people think of me. I have a hard time preforming when I am so uncomfortable. Plus, all I can think of is this surgery. At home I have no energy and when I eat I feel like I will be sick. I also have anxiety anytime I have to grocery shop. The thought of how will I eat healthy and accomodate my niece who needs to eat healthy but she don't like alot of things. Funniest thing is it is more expensive to eat healthy than to eat unhealthy and I have a very limited budget. I feel guilty because I think that when we eat unhealthy I am contributing to her obessity and the fact that I feel so lazy and sad all the time.... I want her to never know how it feels to be me and yet I wish people understood what it is like to be me. How the smallest tasks tire me so bad and how I just sit wishing I could do things I used to. I have missed moree work this year than ever before. I have quit going to church. I don't walk my dog like I used to.... my whole life has detirorated and everyday it gets worse. I am trying to be patient but I am desperate and desperate is a hard place to be in.... I am 416 lbs... I remember when I said I would never let myself be 300 lbs and when I said I would never be 400 and now I am and I am soooo scared! I cry daily. I used to still date even with my weight but now I am too embarrassed even though I know that I am cute... I don't feel like I have a chance. Please oh please let it be this time!

I'm glad you got SOME answers. Is your health insurance through MetLife? Did they at least acknowledge receipt of your paperwork from MSC? You know we all understand the strain of living in a MO body. We all understand the stares and the comments. Please know that you are very much in my prayers. I know there is a better life out there just waiting for you. It's okay to come here and be vulnerable and vent too! {{{{HUGS}}}}

MSC? I have all my stuff through my PCP right now. I talked to MetLife today and they said that they still have not submitted the FMLA form or the discharge summary. I am still trying to get through to my Doctor's other nurse who handled it to talk more to him. I can't even imagine going back to work right now. But I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do... I can't even make bills... I used to work two jobs but I can't barely work this one yet alone two. I just hope this happens... soon!

Okay, what am I missing? Are you talking about just the FMLA because of having to be out of work due to your health issues? If so, then I understand everything going through your PCP. I thought you were talking about what your company health insurance required for WLS approval. I'm sending you a private email with my phone number. I will be able to talk between 4:30 and about 6 this evening if you want to call me.

Hi Melissa, Girl, I know how you feel. I have had my paperwork sent to the insurance since Nov. 29th. The insurance took 5 weeks before even looking at it. Then they sent me a denial letter of Not Medically Necessary. When my surgeons office called they said it was becasue my psy. evaluation did not contain the IQ & MMPI test. Took a month to get a appointment for that. It has been 4 weeks since I had it. I called my surgeons office last week & she said they have not received it yet. She has been no help. So, now I am looking at weeks for the insurance to evaluate me again. I have a lot of your depression feelings but do not have any co-morbidities. My insurance states if your over 100 lbs & 40 or above bmi you don't have to have any. I do not know if I will get it or not. Best of luck to you. Oh, & you are VERY CUTE. You will be knocking the socks off a lot of guys soon. Hugs Ellen

Thanks! I appreciate it. I feel like I am having such a hard time with daily things and it has just been the last 6 months that I don't want to do anything. Today I am trying not to have an I just give up day... will keep you in my thoughts!

Hi Melissa. I think we can all relate in some aspect. I was 310 pounds before surgery and I was "tired of being tired". I just could not imagine what it would be like to wake up and get through an entire day without some kind of pain or knowledge of how big I was. I was just exhausted and tired everyday. It took every fiber of my being to work a full time job and then I just wanted to go home and collapse. You just feel like you are moving through life one day at a time and not actually living. Luckily I had a very supportive husband - although he did not know what I was going through since he has never been overweight. I know I neglected him and we had fights because he just didn't understand that I couldn't go to amusement parks and do rides or was not comfortable in a bathing suit or sitting in seats at sporting events so that made me feel even worse about myself and I felt like I was a burden or set back for him. Just know that you do have the strength to "Live" every day to its fullest - with or without the surgery. I do not even know you that well but just from your posts, I can tell you are a lot stronger than you even know. I hope that you hear something this week. I know the waiting is hard. Keep your head up. We are all here for you. Misty

Thanks! I have been very strong for a long long time and now I see that even slipping away. I feel like I have in some ways deprived my son because I could not do so many things. He would always go do things with other people. I thank god for all of you or I would lose my mind. My sister is big but she is not near my size and she makes comments about me being lazy and always has but not in a hateful way. I think in her heart he gets it but because she has always been smaller and has never been sick by it doesn't get it and she has greater pain tolerance and I am a baby. I try but feel I always fall short. I am however doing all I can and have come to terms that whatever happens happens. I am too tired to stress anymore. I know that help is on its way and just want to move on. I need to make myself exercise and get up and do all I can everyday. Thanks for sharing with me Misty

Melissa, Sweetie I can relate to you on so many levels. My starting weight was 417 and I dealt with so many issues such as your are right now. I just want to encourage you not to give up. I looked in to WLS over 2 years ago with Centennial and I had Tenncare at that time. As you can imagine I had a hard time first going through Centennial I would have to set up all my appoiments myself as far as EKG psych eval and all things required to even try to get approved. Well at that time I was working full time going to school full time and single mother of 2. I gave up because I had no time to try to set up all the apointments I would need. I got a new job new insurance and was encouraged by a co-worker at my current job to try again through Vanderbilt where she had her surgery. Let me tell you it was so much easier!!! I went to the Seminar and followed up with the contact nurse on the brochure or info given at the Seminar. They set up all my appoinments for me execept my psyhc eval. Sometimes I had to pinch myself because it all seemed to easy. All I did was show up to all my appoints got my referrel letter and sent everything to my Insurance and within a week was approved.. Just DO NOT GIVE UP!!!!!!! Everything will work out for you. IT IS WORTH THE WAIT. I have now lost 149 lbs and let me tell you it is like having a new lease on life!! I now exercise and am able to do so much more than I was able to do before surgery. Honey iof you have to call them every day do it!! Give them the message you are not giving up nor will you take No for an answer!!! Best wishes to you!!! {{{ Huggs)))

I don't have any words of wisdom regarding work and FMLA but I just wanted to drop you a short line to encourage you, as everyone else here has, not to give up. I really believe that we all have felt the same feelings you are feeling but it doesn't make it any easier to be going through them...you feel so alone right now...but please understand that we do understand and empathize with your situation. I am sending lots of prayers up for you, not only to get your surgery soon, but for strength for you and understanding on the side of your family. Hugs!!!