maybe it's true

Hello all: My special needs daughter's case manager for her tenncare called me,(trying to get around some issues with the stupid hospital for her care) And she asked how I was doing. I explained to her about the trouble with being able to have my WLS, because it is excluded in my insurance. She then told me;" Well you know Alice if you would just go on a real diet and exercise, you would loose weight, you must not be sticking to a real diet and must be being lazy and not exercising." I tried to explain to her that was not the case, and about this web site. She just again told me to stop being lazy and have the will power to stop eating so much. And then I went into my bathroom and turned the shower on so my special needs daughter would'nt hear me crying and just cried and cried. She has made me feel so horrible , and made me feel like such a failure. I came out of the bathroom and just hugged my daughter and whispered to her how much I loved her and how sorry I was for being such a failure. I'm sorry everyone, but right now I am just not doing well, and thinking it is best to just not be online for awhile. I do thank you all for your help and thoughts and prayers, but after my conversation with that lady, I just can't keep up my hopes, and keep thinking I might be allowed to have WLS. Because I know it will never occur, and I have to try to face that fact. thanks alicem

((((Alicem)))) Don't let that ignorant witch keep you away from a really really good support group!! She indicates a total lack of education and understanding of morbid obesity. It's a sad thing, but those things are very very common. Why would you let that affect you? You know you're not lazy and a failure. She doesn't know you. She might know your daughter, but she's obviously not YOUR friend. I wonder if there's some recourse to you for having been so eggregiously INSULTED and verbally ASSALTED and ABUSED by that case worker? Don't turn this anger inward on yourself. Use it as a source of psychological strength! I'm pulling for you! Love Dennie

I agree. don't let this person get you down. You are a strong person. I know the feeling of putting others first..it's just something you do....but you have to take care of yourself. I praise God that I was blessed to go through this procedure. IT is a tool. Ignorant people have no idea what we battle. Pick yourself up and keep praying, be strong.

Alice, It is not true and you know that. This probably came from a woman who can eat whatever and whenever and never worry about it. You are not lazy. even if you wanted to be you have too much on you to be. Keep loving your daughter like you do. Dont let one ignorant , self important person deter you from your path. I was denied 6 times and then finally had to self pay. Where there is a will there is a way. I know you want to be healthier for your daughter and yourself. You do need to learn to put yourself higher on the list. I know your daughter will always be first, but ther is no reason you cant be next. We love you and dont want you to give up. I will keep you in my daily prayers. Darlene Hughes

That's uncalled for. I'd file a complaint - she ought to get written up for that.

Alice, How dare you allow such a person to beat you over the head like that. NO, that is not true and I would have not taken that from her. I'm afraid I would have asked her who and when she was made a goddess. She's not a very good case worker sounds like she needs some lessons in mannerism. I know for a fact that I'm not a fat lazy person. I actually hear the story all of the time. Before I was a toddler I weighed 20lbs and quite an armful for my mother she needed someone's help toting me around. I was a classic and common case of childhood overweight issues and adulthood obesity. My grand mother tried and tried and the doctors have tried and tried and I also have tried myself. But I knew that trying to do this on my own would never work successfully so I have turned to this marvelous tool for aid and assistance. I will continue my journey and determination to go against the grain and have this surgery and so will you! I am speaking positively for you if you don't feel like sayig it for yourself at the moment. I wish you the best of luck!

OMG! Some people! If I was you, I would file a complaint! They had no right to say that to you! And no, it's not true. Sometimes diet and excersize just don't get the job done. Try to keep your head up and know that we all can understand.