ready to SCREAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
not only have I been told no by my insurance for WLS. If any of you have looked at my profile, you can see how bad my legs get from my lymphedema. I went through 2 years of complete and total hell, IV antibotics(at home for 2 years) changing the dressing on my leg 6 times a day, a gallon of fluid draining from my leg everyday, a stupid doctor making me use 50%water 50%bleach soaked gauze on the open wound.5 surgeries for debreeding the wound.Almost dying and being told by the doctors when my leg finally got so bad that they would have to take my leg up to my hip. Thank God after 9 months of 7 days a week whirpools did it heal. I am scared every day to get even a nick on my leg, that it will cause another wound. WLS would help my lymphedema 100%. And now I have a quarter size and a dime size wound on my leg again, and am scared to death.
I do not have the strength to go through that again. I hold my special needs daughter, rocking her in my arms,kissing her forehead,running my fingers over her hair,the love I have for her overwhelming.And then have to walk away, because I never allow her to see me crying. Why is it so wrong to want to be here for her? To allow her to live at home where she is loved and cared for, not a **home* where it has been proven over and over again that special needs people are NOT properly cared for.
To top that off my special needs daughter has a shunt in her head, last time they had to fix it, the nero surgeon left the old tubing just floating around in her belly, He never took it out. And now it is causing alot of problems, so she has to have her 79th surgery.
So to say right now my life SUCKS!!!!! Is actually looking on the so called bright side.
I try not to loose my faith in God, as He has allowed my beautiful daughter to be here with me for 20 years now, But I begin to question if He even hears my pleas for help.
sorry all for being such a bummer... but this is just crazy that a person in this country can not get medical help, when needed.
One of my **bad** days, tomorrow I will stop feeling sorry for myself......
alicem
(deactivated member)
on 2/2/07 1:51 am - Greenfield, TN
on 2/2/07 1:51 am - Greenfield, TN
Hi Alice,
You are a strong woman to live that life. You have every right to have days feeling sorry for yourself. I sure have no room to complain when I see what you go through.
Don't ever give up in your faith for God. He is there even when we feel he is not. Someday he will have a answer for you..
A million hugs, Ellen
Alice,
I am sending lots of love your way. You are such a strong person, just stay strong. I know its easy to give up, but from the story you wrote, it is clear you are not a give up person. There isn't anything wrong with having one of those days, we all do. Just keep on keeping on and when you need to vent, just do it here. 
sprinkling a little love to you
Hugs
Darlene
sprinkling a little love to you
Hugs
Darlene Please don't apologize for being a bummer. What you were doing is venting, and that is very healthy. It's necessary. You have a lot of responsibility on you, and you have pressure to accomplish tings that you cannot accomplish on your own. That's pretty much the definition of a pressure-cooker of emotion and fear.
So do it. Do some really good, therapeutic, clensing crying. And then lift your head up and get angry. Don't get blindly mad, that won't help. Get coldly angry and methodical.
Don't give up. Find out what needs to be done and by whom, and make sure it's done. If the insurance needs a certain amount of information from someone else, provide them everything they need to be able to help you. And the same thing for your daughter.
The policies and procedures and programs exist to help someone. Make sure that you and your daughter are the ones.
I'll be praying for you and hoping the best for you and your daughter.
Love
Dennie
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