Hi Shelley, I know this is a late response but I just found this particular part of our forum, even after being on the OH site since 2005!! 

My 15 year old son weighs 285 pounds.  He loves his food but doesn't sneak it or hide it in his bedroom.  He has an enormous appetite and he is always hungry.  From July 2005 to July 2006 I lost 140 pounds and I taught him so many things about good eating.  He will check labels, choose protein over carbs and generally understands all about nutrition.  He also is not a junk food junkie, preferring "real" foods to processed ones.  He plays football from August - November, is on the wrestling team from November - March and plays baseball from March until July.  I'd say that's pretty active.  However, for whatever reason he can't seem to lose weight.  I feel much like you do, that I've really ruined him after being SMO myself for 16 years.  But his doctor basically said that it was up to him, he had the tools, he needed to put them in place.  Ha, like we knew how to do that, huh? I pray for a huge growth spurt. LOL  Right now he is 5'8" and the doc said  he will be at least 6'2".  On the plus side, he pretty much stays at this weight.  He is a big, solid boy.  I wish I could do for him what I did for myself, but I don't have that power.  It is forbidden for us to use the word fat in our house as well.  My son will actually ask for help, and then he'll get angry at me when I do help.  Go figure.  At this point provide good foods, that is all you can do.  They learn so much about health and good eating in school now, the tools are there.  Don't look too hard for the root of her eating problems.  Most kids are pretty well adjusted and just like the taste of food.  We don't always have to be "damaged" to be fat. Good luck with your little girl. Donna