My son was approved for RNY.  He will be 19 in May.  I am all for him getting healthy but I am scared that he is not responsible enough to remember his vitamins and do everything he needs to do after having his surgery.  He does work part time and take 4 classes at the community college, but he seems immature and unorganized.  (Holy crap his bedroom scares me at times!)  Through talking to parents of other guys his age, they all seem to be in that lazy-irresponsible phase right now. 
I guess my question is:  Is there anyone else that has gone through this with their son?  or Is there an 18-19 year old guy out there that can relate?  Any advice?

This is scaring me.  We go to his pre-surgery class on 2/11/09.  He is old enough to make his own choices, but I am mom so I want him to succeed and be healthy.
Thanks in advance.
Joann

you may just need to loose some weight and try again. many dr.s for your saftey want you to be at a lower bmi. i know many say travel, but when considering that optio you have to remember that if u have complications or whatever how long or hard is it going to be to get help from this dr. i am 22 and had my surgery about a month and a hal*****his is a big step and it is very risky and the higer your bmi the more risk u are at. if u have any questions pm me.

you should post on the duodenal switch board too....there are many that can and will help you along your journey....good luck

Congrats on your amazing weight loss!!!
I'm 20 and will hopefully be having the surgery before i'm 22, or 21 if i'm lucky.
All the best on your way to your goal!

Your daughter sounds a lot like me.
Played softball all my life, quit when I was 17 because I was sick of being the big girl on the team, the slowest one to run the bases, but I was good, my team new I was good and that is the only reason I was accepted with them. I saw other bigger girls come to the team with little skill and totally get shunned by everyone else. I would stick with diets with my mom for a bit and then it was just the same old with a snap of the fingers I was eating chicken nuggets and fries etc.

Theres hope if she started changing her lifestyle when you did, that means shes open to it at least.. she just has to find something that will help her stick to it.  I know exactly what shes doing when you try and talk to her about it, no matter how nice and non judgemental you are being, it will always come in with a big alert sign saying " shes talking about how fat you are, start crying and tell her to go away and your fine" My mom got the same thing from me. I just saw it as another way of teasing. It bothered me anytime anyone would talk about weight, even if it wasn't my own. weight was an evil word. It became an emotional word.

I know you don't want to see your daughter any heavier. And if she approved WLS would be an amazing tool for her, if you guys had it availible to you. Unfortuneately you don't. My mom was so thrilled when a family friend had gotten it, she always saw it as a big scary deathly surgery that put you out for months etc. etc. She approached me about a month ago about this friend and ever since then i've been in contact withthe clinic and doing TONS of research to get myself fully educated.

Perhaps you daughter needs to be educated, perhaps if its availible a minimal or free of cost, suggest a nutritionist to your daughter, will probably tell her the same things you would, but out of 2 mouths is better than one. Don't make her go, she might not consider it even for 6 months. Maybe have brochures of LIFESTYLE change options for her. Not diets.. diets are never ever going to get anyone anywhere and I firmly believe that. 

Hoping something I said helps, All i can say is i remember being that age, and if any one said anything about my weight i would flip them off and go cry which turned into a weight depression.
As she matures, she will be more open. I am now only open with my mom at 20 years old, out of the house and trying to live a good life. Its amazing how those things can change a relationship.

Best of luck, any questions just PM me!