im here... sick but here... finals were a stresser i made a C in English and well my other class is still a NR .. ive been busy christmas and birthday shoppin! Brittany will be 8 on Friday!!! where does the time go!?!?! as i posted before ive decided against the surgery for now... i dont have the discipline for it... besides God made me this way for a reason. Meagan

hey babe~ I read ashley's story too...it scared me, but it also made me think a lot about how much I'd really risk to have this surgery. Ashley had a lot of trouble, partially due to other health problems that may not have been a cause of this surgery. To me, this surgery is worth the risks...I would rather deal with the side effects of this than have to put myself at risk of heart disease, diabetes, and a bunch of other problems I should be too young to worry about. Knowing that you can't have kids at the age of 17, when everything u've done all your life has been done with the hope of having your own is really like a slap in the face...When I decided that I wanted this surgery, I went into it knowing that even if I had a 25% chance of dying *which is SOOOOOO not even close to the real percentage* I would still do it, just for that little sliver of a chance that all my problems could disappear forever. This isn't life to me, not like this. You need to ask yourself what you're willing to do for your health, if you can push aside your fears and make room for even a little bit of strength to get you through what we're all feeling.. I think all of us can relate to or have related before to those lyrics at some point...i recently went through a period of severe anxiety, where nothing but lyrics like this could soothe me...they're good and bad..it's all about your mindset though... I have my consultation in january, and YES, i'm scared...makes me rethink over and over if this is right for me..but after 3 referrals and all the conclusions i've come to myself, I know I'm making the right decision -*--*--*--*--*- It's mine, it's pure and, as decent as I can make myself Inside, we all know, only the strong survive -*--*--*--*--*- Those are lyrics from one of my favourite groups at the moment, FLAW..it's called "only the strong survive" it's nu-metal, and I find it amazing...read through some of their lyrics, you might like them. I don't know if anything i've said has helped, i just read your post and felt compelled to write. All the best hun, feel free to email me if you need to talk =) Love, Aleya L. [email protected]

i was told by my surgeon that coffee was okay as long as it was black, and limit it to two cups a day. I'm 9mths out and I still can not drink a latte or any special coffee drink since most of them are made with half and half sugar cream whip cream and everything else. Since you are less than two weeks out I'd ask your surgeon about coffee and about the pain in your back which might be from being in surgery, I've heard some people get muscle pains from how they were put during surgery since you are unable to move yourself your body might not have been in the best position. I'd ask the surgeon about that also.