I do understand what your going through.  We have five children, two of wich we have split custody with thier father.

We have tried for many years to watch our childrens weight (my wife and I both have major weight issues) There are countless stories and issues and it is hard to deal with.

only advice I can give is:  Don't buy ANY junk food... none...  Nothing... have apples carrots and yougart always available for the kids for a snack, so they feel like they can have whatever, whenever. (Regulate a littel if it is too much for your budget).  Let your child pick out snacks (one hundred cal snack etc)

It is all a head game, for you your children and those adults that are working against your best efforts.

You need to fool each one into thing he or she is in charge.  They have the choice...  They are the ones deciding what they want.  Taking control and making people think they have the illusion of control is the best way to handle any situation you want to go your way!  Be it adult or children....

Good luck, I hope I helped a little...

T.

Hello, I know that this is a really old post, and normally I wouldn't reply because of the age of this, but I feel so strongly about this that I needed to. As someone who has gone through, IS going through, the same situation as your daughter, I can tell you that you will be dealing with severe consequences of this in a few years; not necessarily weight wise, but psychologically.

I read that you have battled your weight too, so you probably know firsthand the astouding amount of image issues that comes with being obese. With me, it has only gotten worse as I've gotten older. I have a family that has done nothing since I've become overweight/obese[since I was 7, I'm 19 now] but harp at me, pick at me. I've been told that I'm fat, that no boy is ever going to want to be with me, that I look stupid because of the clothes I'm wearing because I'm so fat. I feel at this point in my life that everything, in either a direct or indirect way, has been about my weight for over 10 years. I'm just starting to realize this now, but my life has been ruled by this, and been ruined by it.

I suffer from extreme depression and anxiety. It's partly due to my own horrible self image because of my weight, but the bigger part of it is because I've been put down by my own family members for so many years because of my weight. I think they probably all thought they were trying to help; "tough love" me into losing weight. What they didn't realize was that it had the reverse effect. There are days when getting out of bed is a monumental task, because I simply don't know if I can face another day being me because  I dislike myself SO much. Socially, I can't even tell you...I don't want to leave the house, I feel like I don't even know how to act around people becaues I feel really like...awkward. I went to the movies with my friend from work last night and we barely spoke because I felt like he would hate me if I said something stupid. Looking back, he obviously wouldn't because he asked me, but you see the vicious cycle.

I'm really sorry, I shouldn't have rambled like that. It's not like you would or shoudl care about any of that. I'm just saying that I can tell you love your daughter and want to do right by her. But tough love doesn't always work, and sometimes it can do a lot of harm. Best wishes and prayers to you all...I hope that she never has to deal with any of these things and that she loves herself at any weight.

Dr heider in morrisville NC and musc in charlston,SC Dr Brynes my daughter is 17 and has been to both due to insurance we are having a revision from lap-band to sleeve in mexico  for 6,500 on july 5th I worked many hrs to save this money but the lap-band has a pin hole in it and on its 2nd slip so were getting rid of that.. She had her 1st surgery at age 13 at 300lbs .. Every dime has been worth my daughters smiles when she got into her 1st pair of size 10 jeans..from a size 22

my daughter had lap-band at age 13 at 300 lbs her band is on slip #2 and has a pin hole in it so we are going back to mexico for  the sleeve, most insurance's wont pay for the sleeve only RNY  so Im spending the 5,500 for the sleeve there well worth all the money for my young teens. she is now 17 and has gained all her weight back do to the pinhole

 Hello!  I am having VSG on May 24th.  I am so excited!  Congratulations on getting your surgery date.  I am only 18 and I am kind of nervous about having such a drastic surgery at such a young age.  What are your thoughts?