Better to have loved and lost???

Hey all! Sorry this is a bit of a pity post. I broke up with my internet bf almost three months ago and I still can't get over him! We chatted,e-mailed and called back and forth for two and a half months and met once. Even though he knew I was loosing (I told him aboiut the surgery, that's how close we were) reaaaaally quickly, I guess it wasn't fast enough for him, and he bolted! I really need some of you men out there to assure me you're not all that insensitive! Any advice on how to get over this guy, besides hiring a hit man would be really helpful! Thanx, Becca 389/312/170

Hey Becca- I'm not a guy, but I've done the internet dating thing, so I thought I might try and help. I think the first thing you need to pound into your brain is that if he bolted because of your weight, he's not worth your time. Of course that's easier said that done, but it's really the truth. If you feel like you want to, hop on to those chats where you meet people, or sign up for some message boards for something you are interested and try and meet someone new. I met my current boyfriend in a message board for a common interest, and we were friends for over a year before that even developed into anything else. We met, and we've been living together for 2 years now. I'm not trying to step on your hurt feelings here by sharing my 'success story', but more trying to show you that the online thing can work. I will tell you that even though I wouldn't have considered dating anyone else at the time, I really didn't consider us "together" until we actually met and continued to get along. I think that in a good candidate the fact that you are losing weight shouldn't come up, unless you want it to. A guy who's into you for YOU might be happy that you are losing weight, but it's not going to be a criteria. Good luck Sarah

Heyy Becca, Sorry I am not a guy also but I have to say that when I read your post I was in shock because I am almost going through the same thing! lol Dont worry about it....if he bolted over that maybe he wasnt worth it but trust me its so hard to say good bye and get over it...its taking me months! If you ever want to talk more about this.... aim=xabrokendreamsxa, yahoo=in_ur_dreams2468, msn=sweetbrwneyedqt

Hey babe, I can understand how you feel, I've had it happen to me online AND in person... At the moment, I'm crazy in love with someone I met online...it's been almost a year now. It took me about 5 months to confess how I really look to him, and show him a picture of something other than my face. After all this time, he still loves and accepts me as I am. Just recently, we've begun to exchange more pictures because I got a new digital cam=P, and all he has are words of praise for me. It's shocking, that he would find something I find so disgusting as sexy..he loved me before my face, and that hasn't changed. to him, me getting surgery is a bonus, not a necessity. if your ex couldn't understand that you are beautiful no matter what, and that you are trying to better your life at your own pace, he's not worth it. there are real guys out there who will love you for everything and more. don't give up hope, get out there and bask in the attention you can get with that cute face and sExAy body i'm sure forget the guy that won't give you a reason to smile and feel proud of yourself, YOU CAN DO BETTER! All the best , .:aleya:.

I say get out and about... The best way to get over someone is to busy yourself outside of the house. Instead of being on the computer go for a walk, to the gym, go get your hair done, go shopping, etc... anything that will make you feel better except laying on the couch watching tv or waiting on the computer or even worse eating; that's why I say get out of the house. Another solution is to surround yourself with friends that will keep you busy and your mind off this guy.

thanx everyone! I really appreciate all your input! It made me feel a bit better, thanx again! Becca 389/312/170

first of all im sorry he was so shallow as to bolt over something as small as weight, and specially since you are losing :D honestly not all guys are like that, i know it might seem like that but really were not :P I don't know if its because he didnt totally understand the whole wls thing or w/e but i think someone who was meant to be with you would have stuck with you and watched your "transformation" :D

Sorry to be blunt but... screw him! You don't need someone like that. And don't you worry, once you start losing weight and having more confidence in yourself the men will be swooning. I just went out with my girlfriends this past weekend and guys were whistling and asking where I was going to be. That NEVER used to happen. It may sound stupid to think that stuff is great but when it never used to happen it's so flattering now. It makes you feel empowered. Don't worry about your ex a better one will come along. For now just go and have fun. Have the fun you missed out on you deserve it! -Holly

Oh hunni...i was in a similar situation...except i was dating this guy when i was 80 pounds lighter...he was so cute so sweet...everything i always wanted...i put on this huge amount of weight in a matter of MONTHS and he saw me again after probably 5 months and hasn't called me since. I cried for a week...no kidding. Then I realized um EW!!! There are much better guys for me AND YOU!! babe your beautiful now, and ull be just as beautiful when you lose the weight.