Ok now I am alittle scared

Well I was reading a post on the message boards called Ashley's story and well I am really scared, I feel sick and am having alot of second thoughts. I mean I want to be normal but Ashley went through more then any person should. I want so much out of life but what if I do get the surgery and have so many complications that I can't enjoy "the fruits of my labor"? I just want to be normal and happy. As my favorite song goes - "To be hurt To feel lost To be left out in the dark To be kicked when you're down To feel like you've been pushed around To be on the edge of breaking down And no one's there to save you No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)" -- Simple Plan, Welcome to my Life Well I guess you guys know what it's like. But I feel like this everyday and I just want to hear this song and not think that the are talking about me. I want (it sounds korney but...) a happy song to be the song that I can relate to. I want so much but am really afraid to take any risks. Anyone out there who had the surgery or made up their mind to have surgery please write back 'cause I really need advice. Carmella

hey babe~ I read ashley's story too...it scared me, but it also made me think a lot about how much I'd really risk to have this surgery. Ashley had a lot of trouble, partially due to other health problems that may not have been a cause of this surgery. To me, this surgery is worth the risks...I would rather deal with the side effects of this than have to put myself at risk of heart disease, diabetes, and a bunch of other problems I should be too young to worry about. Knowing that you can't have kids at the age of 17, when everything u've done all your life has been done with the hope of having your own is really like a slap in the face...When I decided that I wanted this surgery, I went into it knowing that even if I had a 25% chance of dying *which is SOOOOOO not even close to the real percentage* I would still do it, just for that little sliver of a chance that all my problems could disappear forever. This isn't life to me, not like this. You need to ask yourself what you're willing to do for your health, if you can push aside your fears and make room for even a little bit of strength to get you through what we're all feeling.. I think all of us can relate to or have related before to those lyrics at some point...i recently went through a period of severe anxiety, where nothing but lyrics like this could soothe me...they're good and bad..it's all about your mindset though... I have my consultation in january, and YES, i'm scared...makes me rethink over and over if this is right for me..but after 3 referrals and all the conclusions i've come to myself, I know I'm making the right decision -*--*--*--*--*- It's mine, it's pure and, as decent as I can make myself Inside, we all know, only the strong survive -*--*--*--*--*- Those are lyrics from one of my favourite groups at the moment, FLAW..it's called "only the strong survive" it's nu-metal, and I find it amazing...read through some of their lyrics, you might like them. I don't know if anything i've said has helped, i just read your post and felt compelled to write. All the best hun, feel free to email me if you need to talk =) Love, Aleya L. [email protected]

Hey Carmella- Ashley's story really is heart-breaking. I feel really bad for her, and which there was something that could be done to help her. Have you looked into the other surgeries? Theres the RNY, which Ashley had, and the Duodenal Switch, and then the Lap Band... I think those are all the main contenders anyway... (someone pipe up if I missed any). The RNY has helped alot of people, but it's also a scary prospect. I don't actually know that much about the DS, and didn't even hear about it until I joined this board, after my own surgery. I opted for the Lap Band, because the RNY was too scary to me. Whatever you decide, decide it for yourself, and make sure that you are comfortable with your decision. That of course doesn't mean you can't be scared (you'd be crazy not to at least be nervous!), I cried like a baby the night before my surgery, and I think it's because I didn't let myself get nervous right before hand, and so it all came out at once. AIM me sometime if you wanna chat. MysticTaeza Sarah