Death

Like many of you, I am not really a "teen"- I am in my early 20's... but as my surgery gets closer the risk of death seems to be more and more on my mind. Its like this: if I have lived a full life (family, education, career, ect.) then I dont think that I would be worried... but it seems to be just a HUGE risk to take if I die so young. Does anyone else have any suggestions/tips of getting over this unreasonable fear??? (less than 2% die from RNY) Thanks

Think of it this way: If you do not get the surgery any co-morbities you have will more than likely get worse, as well as you will probably aquire new and even worse co-morbities (sleep apnea, diabetes, super bad blood pressure, arthritis)That is if you do not currently have those. None of that will make you life very easy to live fully. Do you ever plan on having kids? Imagine trying to carry (if you are a girl) and raise children in your current condition + another 5 years of age. Death was a factor but then I realized that I was killing myself anyways. I would rather take this chance (the odds are very small as you said) than have the odds of 5 different chronic diseases to live with. I hope this helps and good luck!! Jennifer K. pre-op 11-15-04

I am thinking of all the problems that I already have and ALL the problems that my family Has had with Being Obese. My father died when I was 8 from a heart attack, He was overweight, Diabetic, and Had MASSIVE heart problems. I want to have kids someday, AND I want to be there when they grow up. No fun growing up with just one parent. I dont know if this will help you at all, but know that you are lowering your risk for any future health riskes Loves CJ

okay, my whole out look on the death thing is this: i KNOW for a fact that i will die...I KNOW for a fact that there is a 100% chance of me dieing pre maturely from being morbidly obese...now compare that 100% to the 2% with rny...ill take my chances with the rny...if i die, the good lord said it was time and he chose to take me off the table :/

I see it like this, not to get all religious, but if you were meant to die, then you'll die....whether it be during surgery, on the way to the hospital for surgery or when your 80 yrs old, your on this earth for a reason. But my surgeon told me I have a 1% chance of death and thats the lowest they can quote. Also being young is on your side, you heal a lot faster. But really you have that risk with any surgery. However, I think about this also...Do I wanna die just to be skinny? Isn't my life worth more than that to me....but after talking with my surgeon...it doesn't really bother me so much....he was very confident that everything would work out fine...however I am getting lap rny...which has less "cons" than open! Anyway...that's what I have to say whether it helped or I dunno...sounded good to me *Elizabeth

Hi Elizabeth! I was just wondering, I saw in your post that you stated the lap has less cons than the open. I was wondering what those were? I am a premed student, just turned 23, and am having the surgery Jan. 19. I had the option of having open vs lap and after MUCH consideration, chose open. I have done research for the past 2 years and even wrote my term paper on it for Medical Law and Ethics. I have consulted with my surgeon, and he too recommended the open, although they do perform many lap. (I am going through the Wish Center in Tampa, FL) The only con that I can think of with Open vs Lap is that the Open does have the chance of producing more scar tissue and risk of infection. But the lap has the risk of being under anesthesia longer. With open I will be under for 1-1.5 hours, with lap it would be 3-3.5. (I have a hard time coming out of anesthesia without difficulties, as do many MO people--so this was the deciding factor for me). As far as pains go, I have heard different stories from MANY different patients. I have a friend who had it done laparoscopically and swears by it. I also have met people through support groups who had it open that heard people who had lap complaining more than them. So I think the pain factor definitely is different for everyone. I do know that my surgeon said if I went lap, they would be placing a drain in my abdomen that would be removed before I was released from the hospital. With open, I have a 1% chance of them placing a drain, which causes more scar tissue, so I was happy about that. As far as scarring goes, the lap incisions are several and much smaller than the 4 inch scar I will be receiving, but the scarring isn't my main concern, it's my health (and besides, it's way above my belly button so I'm a happy camper!). I have already had 10 surgeries throughout my life and scars fade LOL. I just want to make sure that everyone is fully informed and know that one is not necissarily better than the other for everyone. Definitely look into it and choose the one that best coinsides with your specific medical needs. Thanks and good luck with your weight loss!! -Phoenix

The fear of death was something I struggled with a lot before surgery, and I don't think that anyone is ever capable of totally getting rid of that fear. The best thing you can do is weigh the consequences of having the surgery against not having it. Chances are the consequences of not having it will greatly outweigh those of having, but that all depends on the person. Right before surgery I just kinda gave it all up to God, and said if it was my time that I was ready. The life I would have had if I had not had the surgery just didn't seem like a life worht living anyway. The day I went in for surgery, I was surprised at how calm I was. Once I got into the pre-op waiting area I had a few scares. One of the newer anesthesiologists came in to talk to me and told me that my airway was compromised and I had an abnormal EKG. I was so freaked out by that, that I almost said forget about it. Then the more experienced guy came in and basically told me that everything the other guy said was crazy. Anyway, I got back to the OR and a few minutes after being in there I was out...the next thing I remember was being woken up in the OR. I am very happy that I didn't let myself get scared out of having the surgery, it has definitely changed my life for the better. Well I hope that helps a little. If any of you guys have any questions feel free to IM or e-mail me. My screen name on AIM is toputia.

Thank you to all who wrote... it helps me to realize that everything does happen for a reason and that this surgery is probably saving my life. Again, you have no idea what a support it was to read what you all said. I am still nervous, but at least I have some other perspectives to help me. Thank you again.

I'm struggling with the same thing -- I think it would be easier to have surgery if my life was more affected by my weight....say, if I were older and heavier and I wasn't able to work because of my weight, didn't have a social life, was homebound, and really had a miserable quality of life. Yeah, I hate being fat (it's no fun being 20 years old, 5'2, and 300 pounds) and I hate what it does to my self-image, my health, everything...I just feel gross and nasty and out of control. But I'm also a pretty happy person, I'm popular, I do well in school, I'm successful...so it's hard to risk all of that and possibly die to resolve the weight issue. Also -- my parents are against the surgery and when they bring up the risk of death, I reply, "Yeah, but I'd die from problems with obesity if I didn't have the surgery."...so they say, "You're not going to remain obese, you're going to diet and lose the weight." How do you respond to that? They're skinny...they don't understand!!

Hey Jen! I feel excatly the same way as you do. My parents are now coming to be more supportive, but only because they are sick of me telling them that this was not their descision its one I have to make for myself. I decided I was going to have my surgery, and started to get the ball rolling... right into a brick wall! I called my insurance company to see how to go about this, and they said it was a written exlusion on my policy (meaning they cover the surgery when its medically necessary, but my dad's employer opted out of this coverage to save money) They then told me that during open enrollment I could have the option to get on another plan, but that it wouldnt matter becuase as of January2005 they wouldnt be covering it at all. So that was the end of that! I definately can't afford to have it without insurance coverage. Anyways I started looking into other options, and came across Wellspring Camps in New York. Its much less expensive than the surgery, and becuase they deal with not only diet and excercise, but also the psycological and behavioral change aspect they had a very high success rate! Average person losing about 4lbs a week... and continued to loose the wieght once they got home! So even though WLS is a great option, Its not for everybody. And I would encourage you to look at some other options... the camps web address is http://www.wellspringcamps.com Good luck in your journey! Sarah H.