Nervous, Scared, Worried, Petrafide, Excited......

Wow, I never thought that I would be saying this, but I am just a little over 24 hours away from the biggest step to changing my life....forever....I'd worked so hard, and tried my hardest to get this surgery and now, it's here. AND IM SCARED! Losing the 30 lbs prior has been a struggle, and I just hope that tomorrow at my pre-op i've lost enough an wont be sent home. I think that is my biggest fear right now, being told that I haven't lost, but I have tried, harder than I have ever tried anything before. I sat down and talked to one of my little sisters tonight, she's 10. I worry about her the most because she is very protective over me. I asked her tonight if she was ok with what's happening, and she said yes, but the sadness in her eyes shook me up. She finally told me that she was scared that I wouldn't come home from the hospital, and that I would die. Needless to say, I cried and I am crying now. The hardest thing to hear is your little sister telling you she is scared you're going to die. I guess in a way that has been a fear of mine, a small one, but it's there. My other sister who is 5 doesn't understand to much, I asked her tonight if she would sit and talk to me, and she said "i hope this isn't about your tummy surgery" also with a sad look. She is taking this better than the older one, perhaps because she doesn't understand, but she knows that sissy will be ok and that she will see me on Thursday in the hospital. She says she will be my little nurse when I get home. I am not sure how my 2 little brothers are taking it, Justin..the older of the two...is scared of death...he has been for quite some time and I fear that he's got those thoughts in his head too, but he's not a talker...Kyle, well, he isn't much of a talker, he pretends he doesn't care that way he doesn't have to tell people he is scared too. My mom, well, I know she is a big supporter of this, but I think she's scared as well...she won't tell me that though because she doesn't want me to worry...TOO LATE!!....my dad seems to be ok with it all now, at first he was against the surgery, but he is always there and stands by my decisions...his girlfriend says they are hoping to see this work well for me an he'll look into it too...I hope he does...My step dad....doesn't say much, except that he believes in me and he knows I will come out ok I guess that is enough for me ...My boyfriend is a great support, he had the surgery 2 years ago and is doing great and is proud of me for getting this far. He's been on my butt for months to lose the weight and do things the way I was told...I feel bad for the crap I have put him through, but grateful that he's stayed with me through this...every step of the way...I want to take time to thank all of my friends that I have met here on OH. and let you all know you were a help when I needed you and I hope that those of you who have already gone through this are doing wonderful, and those still waiting keep their heads up high during the process and don't get discourged. The way I am feeling right now is normal. You are making a life change, and that is tough to swallow. Good Nite Everyone Shannon

YOU ARE GOING TO BE FINE!... I mean that,... fine.. as in sexy, beautiful pretty,, (not just your face! lol) But seriously you are exactly how I was the days leading to my surery and I was even crying on the gurney on the way into the room. I know that you are feeling 1000 diffrent emotions and some of them somewhere are excitement!! I just want you to know,, That this surgery is safer now more than it ever has been before and you are going to survive and THRIVE,,, you are going to be a knockout with this new body and outlook on life.. Things can only get better!! Best wishes and everyone has these thoughts if you did not worry,, that is where the problem would be! I will say a little prayer for you and be thinking of you tommarow. -kim -145

Oh my gosh! IM SOOOOOOOOOOOO jealous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dont worry, just think of all the positives!!!!!!!!! ~Amy

Im so happy for you... you'll be fine! You were in my thoughts today... Hope you're recovery is quick.... Happy Healing! Meagan