afraid to tell my friends...

Anyone else had this problem? I recently moved hundreds of miles away from my nearest friends, and don't have any nearby, so my only communication with most of them is over the internet...and I'm afriad to tell any of them. I've told one, but she's also overweight. Everyone else knows that I'm not coming back to school in the fall, but I've been pretty vague with the details. I don't know why I'm so afraid. I guess part of it is because it was never a part of the friendships. I never made it an issue of any sort (unfortunately one "friend" did behind my back...), even though it was always on my mind. I don't know, though. I can't even tell the person who was supposed to be my roommate in the fall.

Lauren, I also had a huge fear of telling people about my WLS. It may seem kind of weird, but I decided to start by telling one of my "friends" (she's too concerned w/herself to care alot about others) just to see what her reaction would be (I knew I would probably get a much milder response than I would from some of my super close friends). Can I just say, WHAT A RELIEF! Telling her was like a big weight off my shoulders, and I realized that the more people I told, the better I would feel. I think telling my roomates was the hardest, because they are my two best friends in the world! I just found a time (at 1 a.m. when we were all in our beds talking) to lay out the situation, and although they were scared for me, they were also super supportive. I would say that now, a little over 8 weeks out of surgery, I still have only told about half of my friends. If the topic came up, I wouldn't try to hide it or anything, but to those people I just haven't had the time or the right situation to tell them yet. Besides my roomates, I also didn't tell anyone else at my college that I was having surgery, so maybe (hopefully) I will have lost enough by the time I return to get some funny looks . If possible, I would recommend telling at least one or two of your closest friends, friends that you know you can trust. This way you will have support as you go through your surgery, even with just little phone calls or notes. These really helped me through the recovery process. SO, now that I've gone completely overboard on your post, I think I'll stop. Good luck with your surgery and telling your friends (if you decide to do so).

Lauran, I havent even had my surgury or even started my papers but i did tell my friends that i was thinking about it and yes i have lost alot of friends....but i have gained more too my friends still try to talk me out of it but in all respect i am tired of makin everyone happy this is my year and u should make it urs dont worry about what ur friends are gunna say if they are true friends they will be there for u and support u

Hey Sweetie ~ I had my surgery on April 30th, which meant I had to take a month off of my senior year in high school. I wanted my all my friends to know just so I would have a huge support network. Let me tell you, it surely paid off. When I was getting close to my surgery date all staff, and friends were counting down on Calanders.. it became an exciting thing for everyone. While I was out of school friends stopped by, visited me in hospital.. and even called to say keep up the goodwork! When I returned to school the ENTIRE senior class was so excited to see me patting me on the back saying WOW you can already tell.. I don't know what I would have done without the support. Now my nickname.. is Skinny.. or Slim haha! It's fabulous. I feel like I've got a cheerleading squad to help me boost moral when Iam craving something I can't have, and since all my friends and family know I've had the surgery they tend to make sure all food we eat.. EVERYONE can eat including me. Also, since I had my surgery I've gotten lots of comments about how my dedication has inspired them, which is a nice thing to hear. I believe that if you know in your heart surgery is for you, and you want it then you shouldn't be ashamed to tell anyone. Some people may react differently, but if they are against the surgery. It's usually fear, because they love you! Hope my story helps you think about your decision to tell your friends, I know for me this surgery was exciting.. and I wanted to TELL THE WORLD! Love Always, Mandy

hey lauren! oh man did i have a hard time telling my friends! i had my date set about a month in advanced but didn't even hint i was getting surgery untill about two weeks before it happened. i found that i had an eaiser time telling all my "college" friends then my friends here at home. i think it was because i new they would all support me with no questions asked. i mean we all lived together for a year and we all became pretty close. so i new they would be behind me 100%. but my friends at home were a different story. i didn't want them to think of me differently or judge me in any way. i told one of my friends and by the end of the day all of my closest friends new! lol i think i new that was going to happen so thats why i did it. some of them approved, and some of them begged me not to go through with it (and when i say begged i mean on their knees and begged). others asked a ton of questions and some simply said wow. but they all came and saw me in the hospital when i was recovering. you know what, now that i think of it some of my friends still don't know that i got the surgery! i guess i should make some phone calls. lol any way no matter what they think, if they are your friends they will support you and what ever you decide to do. peace and love *~jenny~*