Friends and family? Long Post

How are your friends and family reacting to your decision to have WLS? I am really frustrated at how my friends and family are reacting. My only real support is my older sister (my best friend). She has always been the thin and pretty sister so it means alot to me that she is so supportive. I have always heard the comment you don't look anything like your sister, I can't believe you are HER sister. My husband is so-so about it, I wish he could be more supportive. My friends are not supportive at all. One is afraid that I will die because she heard of someone in her town the died. I am sorry but I have researched this immensly and know the side effects and I am willing to deal with the risks. Other people just don't understand, they think it is so dangerous. I wish people that were uneducated about WLS would just keep their opinions to their self. Also people think I am too young! and that I haven't exhausted all of my resources. I have been on and off diets and exercise programs since the age of 14 and have gained all of my weight back plus some. I bet there are some 40 year olds that haven't dieted or exercised as long as I have (some people just don't have to watch what they eat EVER!) I feel that with the WLS it is a sure thing. Not the easy way out but a sure thing as long as I work at it. I am just so frustrated with the way people are reacting I wish I wouldn't have told anyone but my immediate family. People act like it is the most horrible thing that they have ever heard of. Thanks for listening to me ramble!

I think there will always be skeptics (sp?) about this whole WLS idea. As Jay said, people are just not educated enough about the surgery to feel as comfortable as those of us who have done the research and made the decisions. They don't know what we go through on a daily basis, or what we have gone through most of our lives. I am fortunate enough to have most of my family and friends support. The only person (people) I feel I don't have the support of are my father and his girlfriend. My dad is one who could use the surgery and the life change, he is 5'11 and 450+ lbs. But he didn't have to go through school the way I did. He didn't start gaining his weight until after high school. He was a football player and wrestler thoughout being a kid. He thinks I haven't attempted enough of the weight loss. I have grown up with my mom and was never to close with him, so he doesn't see what I have done. I am 19 years old and waiting on my consultation appointment, the closer I get the more scared my dad gets, I have a long life ahead of me if I can take care of my weight problem, I am at witts end, I have no choices left and I've made the choice to have surgery. Unfortunately we'll never gain the support of EVERYONE we care about, but as long as you have 1 person, everything will be ok. Believe in yourself and your decision to make life better Shannon

I agree with what you guys say...there will ALWAYS be people who are against the surgery for whatever reasons they have. Most people just don't understand what it is like to be overweight so they don't get why we feel the need to do this. My mom and aunt have been the best support because they got the surgery done in September, so they were super excited. On the other hand when I told my sister the first thing she did was call my mom and ask if she was really going to let me do this. She told my mom I would kill myself because I was so young and irresponsible. Now that I have had the surgery I think she is different towards it because she can see that I do take care of myself. I do know that it is hard to get such negative responses from people close to you, but it is probably because they are just scared for you because the surgery is such a big deal. You just need to tell them that this is something you feel you have to do, and you're sorry that they feel that way but they need to understand that you aren't having the surgery for them, you are doing this for yourself! WHEW...speaking of rambling!!HAHA So that is my take on that! Love, Staci

Hey Staci I was just curious if you had AIM or not...I would really like to talk to you and ask a few questions if you don't mind. you can email me at [email protected]

Marianne Way back when I started this whole thing I told my entire family (well, my mom told them... I hate talking to people) and they were all for it as far as I know. But since then I've decided I didn't want anyone besides immediate family (mom, stepdad, dad, sister) to know because I know very well that my family is full of gossips. So after my consultation with the surgeon I made my immediate family swear not to tell anyone i was going through with it and if anyone asked just to say I was thinking about it but not actively pursuing it. I don't know, it sounds a little mean but I'm a very private person, lol. You could try doing something like that to get people off your back, lol!!