Depression : story of my life

::At times I just feel hopeless and scared. I may not look heavy to some people, but some people I'm huge. I tried every weight loss in the book and nothing. I just moved to Fl about 7 months ago and I'm friendless. There's never anyone around to talk to about my problems, or just anyone to go to the movies with or anything. People here don't take the time to get to know you. People where I used to live didn't either but I grew up with the kids my whole life and was accepted from the beginning. Here no one cares to talk to me, or even look at me. The only time people actually say something to me is if the care to make fun of me. So I tend to take the long walks to class instead of passing the groups that like to scream " look at that ugly *****" down the hall. At times I wouldn't go to class. I'd head straight for the bathroom and just cry all period. Sometimes 2. When there are kids in class that sit behind me, and laugh I always know it's about me. Depression has ruled my life for years and I'm really tired of it. From Monday through Friday I go to school, come home and lay in bed starring at the ceiling or on the computer. On weekends I get up take a shower and then lay in bed either crying or on the computer. I feel as if I can't do anything about it. This surgery is the only thing I have left and if for some reason I don't get approved I don't know what I'm going to do. At times I feel like life isn't worth living anymore.... There hasn't been a day for the past 3-4 years that I woke up to and thought I was going to have a good day. If anyone cares to comment, or give advice I'd love to hear it. Your friend - Shelly

Hey Shelly! I'm SO sorry to hear that you are feeling so depressed. I guess I don't have much advice, but I can surely tell you that I definitely understand where you are coming from! I would love to talk to you sometime! I guess all I can say is to think about how good it is going to feel to loose weight (this is what I do). I used to be really angry at a lot of people for not taking the time of day to see how I'm doing, but then I had to look at myself and say... If I saw someone who was my size, would I stop to see how they were doing? Of course, now that I've had the experience of being MO, I would hope that indeed I would. However, I don't know if I would if I had all the misconceptions about overweight people that a lot of normal weight people do. I'm sorry I'm kind of rambling. Did that make any sense? Like I said before, email me if you ever want to talk, and I'll be glad to answer! ~Jenny

I wish I could know how old you are because my response would be more detailed.... Anyways. It's hard moving around and being the "big" girl. I'm thinking that you are at least in highschool. Well I moved during highschool and I was the big girl. Let me say. Highschool is Highschool. I hated highschool because it was superfical. Once you get into higher education it becomes more about your brain than your looks. My advice is if you don't have someone to talk to then go to a therapist. but only a therapist you like not who you're parents like. Take one day at a time. Remember that in a couple years that you'll be gone from this atmospheere and on to bigger and better things. But get out of your house also... even though being depressed makes you want to stay inside go against that feeling and say to yourself once a day you at least need to go outside. Go for a walk with a sibling or parent. Go on errands just to go and get outside. Still if I feel like Im isolating myself I go driving around. Find little things that interest you. If you like books go to the bookstore on the weekends and read. Just find something that makes you happy. And between you and me the people that feel the need to pick on you have something about themselves that they are afraid of that others will see and pick on them about and you being overweight is an easy target for them just like the handicap kid is. From what I learned from highschool don't give into the bullies just ignore them. Or you could be like how I was and get really good at highly thought out come back remarks. JUST DONT BE SAD