Daughter

Hello all!  I have been struggling with my daughters weight for several years now. She is fifteen, 5'9
around 308 lbs. She has been to a weight loss dr. had medical test done. Seen a dietican etc.
We both went to weigh****cher for around five months I would lose she would. I have tried to restrict what she drinks but she will constantly complain about nothing to eat or drink. She says she wants to loss weight but never seems to give much effort. She has hardly any friends , never is invited to do normal teenage things because she is so different. I feel so mean because when I say anything about what she eats or how much ,she gets defencive  and will say " I know mom I need to loss weigh , or I know I shouldn't have this but I'm hungry. She even gets food and takes it to her room and eats it when I 'm at work. I have tried to get her to exericse , but she alway seems to find a way not to do it or will do 10 min on the treadmill and then  she won't do anything again for a couple weeks. I'm so frusterated . I don't know how to help her. She did she a behavior cons.  twice  that had weight loss surgery himself, but she didn't feel like she needed to see him. the doctor that she see at a teen center, was trying to help, but she doesn't want to go back because she has'nt loss any weight and she feels bad. I just don't know what to do to help her. She needs help bad. She is prediabetic. She also has mild cerebral palsy, and having this weight just makes it harder for her to want to move with weak muscules to begin with. We live in northern Michigan. Help!!!!

Mom,
Has she been able to lose any significant weight with the plans you have used? Is she able to "track" her intake or activities? Sometimes it can help just to tune in to the number of calories per day you are getting and burning. There are lots of good online sites that can help with that too.

Just a few thoughts. Our dietician may be able to provide some tips as well by email.

Warmest regards,

Dr. Tom,
Thank you for the response. We are working on those  tracking  both of these things. Since I had wrote my first post we have been going to a family doctor. In Feb of this year she weight in at 316lbs.  She was borderline diabetic and has fatty liver disease. Her doctor is trying to change one thing at a time. She had my daughter set ONE goal that she wanted to do for one month and asked her to write down every thing she eats and want her mood is before eating . We just went back to the doctor March 10. My daughter blood glucose was normal, she maintain her weight and she did pretty well will her goal. Which was to wear a pedometer and walk 2000 steps. But she did not do the food jourmal but maybe a couple days. So her doctor told her to take the highest amount of steps that she was able to walk and increase that by one thousand steps, which makes the amount of steps 6000 . I thought that was a big leap so I told my daugther to  try to right that goal, but if not at least do 4500 steps. The food journal I'm really struggling with getting her to do. She has been starting to do some strength and cardio with me but she does it half heartedly. I have stop baking(which I love), trying to incorparate  more fish and veggies in our diet . I myself am obese so it is difficult. I love candy, and eating at night. So I guess any help , suggesstion  is great.

Thank you again,
mom

Good job. I like the idea of a pedometer. Gives her an objective number that helps with motivation.
The other suggestion is to reward progress. When she is able to do the tracking for instance, figure out a way to reward it with something she wants to do. Sometimes it is as simple as dedicating more of you own time to her. Or maybe an itunes song. Or movie night (could be at home or out). Just without the theater refreshments of course!!

Keep up the good work!

Hey Mom,

I just posted a story about my daughter - similar size, but she lost her weight NON-surgically.  I have been keeping food journals since I was TEN, as I was a fat child, even though I was an ACTIVE child.  I say this, as it may help your daughter.  Kate (my girl) refused to do a journal, so I had to come up with something easier.

My daughter was 286 pounds at 5' 10, when I made her a deal -- drink a Meal Replacement Shake for BREAKFAST - she never had breakfast on a regular basis -- and I would drive her to school in the morning.  She would then walk three miles FROM school as her main exercise.

By the end of her Sophomore Year (we started in her Freshman Year), she dropped ONE HUNDRED POUNDS!  No crazy diets, just making sure she actually had breakfast - nutritionally SOUND (not just Sugar Puffs Cereal), and moderate exercise five days a week. 

My daughter just turned 20 in August, still drinks a Meal Replacement Shake for breakfast - EVERY MORNING - and walks to & from the bus that takes her to school - about 3/4 mile from our house, and she is STILL keeping her weight off!

Having a well balanced diet is one factor -- having breakfast not only will put your daughter in a better mood in the morning, but will keep her body FUELED, so she may be less likely to have unhealthy snacks.  My daughter RARELY drinks any soda - diet or not - and LOVES water.  This is also a very important key -- liquid calories.  If you are ENCOURAGING, she will be more likely to be able to make changes fr her good.  My own mother was encouraging, and even though I grew up obese, I was always (and still am) active, and aware of what I eat.

My daughter's photo is in my blog - if you want to see what she looks like.  She has kept all the weight off, and is very happy.  I wish you & your daughter much success -- write me privately, if you would like to share thoughts!!!

Brenda : )~

Sorry for the late post. I still check this board every so often, despite not being a teen (23 years old). Sounds like your daughter and I were a lot alike. I KNEW I needed to lose weight, but the food it just too tempting. I would go on diets and my mom would do great. But then the family would have something, like macaroni, and I wanted some. She always said "a little won't hurt". But it happened again and again and after a week or two I was no longer dieting, and undoing all my hard work. I didn't have many friends in high school. I was never picked on, because I stayed invisible. I had a few friends that I ate lunch with, but we never did anything outside of school. I was afraid if I tried to make friends they would shoot me down, or make fun of me behind my back.

Its hard to change bad habits. Its hard to gain self esteem after you have punished yourself for so long. I still don't try to make friends with others I don't know and avoid people I haven't seen in a long time because its easier. Not to sound conceited, but I am a great person. I'm funny, caring, and have a great personality. I've been told by many coworkers and family. However, when meeting someone new, they go by their first impression, a quiet fat girl. So I just don't try.
If your daughter is anything like me she'll get discouraged because of the amount of weight she has to lose. At an average of 2lb a week it will take 1.5 years of EXTREME dieting to lose 1/2 her weight to get to a healthy weight.

You need to encourage her and not give in. I wish my mom would have never given in. Cut carbs (my weakness), and stick to healthy meats and lots of veggies. AS MANY VEGGIES AS YOU WANT! No one needs bread, pasta, or the other delicious carbs. There are plenty of carbs in fruit and veg. Breakfast is super important. 3 meals a day with a light snack between them. I know how to diet I just can't stick with it.

After YEARS of being fat (starting at 180 in 6th grade and rising from there) I am now scheduled for weight loss surgery on Tuesday. I don't think that's the answer you wanted to hear, but that's how I'm solving the problem. I wish you the best with your daughter. I'd be happy to answer any questions if I can.