What to do...How to help teen daughter?

I had RNY on 8/29/06 and lost 205 pounds from 410 to 205 with an all time low of 198...  Now, I stay about 205.  PART of the reason I did it was my two daughters.  They've been overweight most of their teen years now and are 16 and 19 about to turn 17 and 20.  I just recently was scanning some medical records and noted that in 1997, my now 16 year old (5 at the time, almost 6) was listed as "obese."  And, she IS that now.  Actually, she has a BMI of 43.8 at 5'7 and 280 pounds.  I can see her headed where I ended up.  When I had my surgery, she was at 232 pounds and lost down to 216 as I was losing.  BUT, by the time I was a year or so out, the thrill was gone and she quit caring about her weight again.  She did not play softball last spring like she has every year since 1st grade, and her weight ballooned this past year to 280 pounds now.  She carries most of it in her upper body and it scares me!  I have tried to talk to her about it and she just doesn't want to hear it.  She already weighs more than I did at graduation and she's a junior this year, so she could be close to (or over) 300 by graduation at this pace.  I pray that is not the case, but I am out of ideas.

Anyone out there got any suggestions?  Our insurance will not cover anything related to obesity or weight loss now, so we're SOL there...  Help me help her if you can!!  You can respond here OR email me at [email protected] if you'd like...
THANKS!
Lea

Your daughter sounds a lot like me.
Played softball all my life, quit when I was 17 because I was sick of being the big girl on the team, the slowest one to run the bases, but I was good, my team new I was good and that is the only reason I was accepted with them. I saw other bigger girls come to the team with little skill and totally get shunned by everyone else. I would stick with diets with my mom for a bit and then it was just the same old with a snap of the fingers I was eating chicken nuggets and fries etc.

Theres hope if she started changing her lifestyle when you did, that means shes open to it at least.. she just has to find something that will help her stick to it.  I know exactly what shes doing when you try and talk to her about it, no matter how nice and non judgemental you are being, it will always come in with a big alert sign saying " shes talking about how fat you are, start crying and tell her to go away and your fine" My mom got the same thing from me. I just saw it as another way of teasing. It bothered me anytime anyone would talk about weight, even if it wasn't my own. weight was an evil word. It became an emotional word.

I know you don't want to see your daughter any heavier. And if she approved WLS would be an amazing tool for her, if you guys had it availible to you. Unfortuneately you don't. My mom was so thrilled when a family friend had gotten it, she always saw it as a big scary deathly surgery that put you out for months etc. etc. She approached me about a month ago about this friend and ever since then i've been in contact withthe clinic and doing TONS of research to get myself fully educated.

Perhaps you daughter needs to be educated, perhaps if its availible a minimal or free of cost, suggest a nutritionist to your daughter, will probably tell her the same things you would, but out of 2 mouths is better than one. Don't make her go, she might not consider it even for 6 months. Maybe have brochures of LIFESTYLE change options for her. Not diets.. diets are never ever going to get anyone anywhere and I firmly believe that. 

Hoping something I said helps, All i can say is i remember being that age, and if any one said anything about my weight i would flip them off and go cry which turned into a weight depression.
As she matures, she will be more open. I am now only open with my mom at 20 years old, out of the house and trying to live a good life. Its amazing how those things can change a relationship.

Best of luck, any questions just PM me!