obese 11 year old--long, sorry!
This is my first visit over to this forum. I'm hoping that someone can relate to our situation and share their hints, ideas, successes.
My 11-yo son has to lose weight. He's been overweight for the past couple years and, while we haven't been in denial about it, I was very hesitant to 'talk" about it. I was an overweight child and was tormented by my family members because of it. I had zero self esteem going into teenhood. I do not want to do that to my son.
What I have done is make sure that there are healthy eating choices available to him. I haven't "monitored" his eating. I make sure that he is active daily. He's pretty athletic anyway, despite his excess weight.
We had our yearly trip to the pediatrician a few days ago. I knew it was going to be brought up as an issue, and I am glad the doctor addressed his weight with both of us. He has a BMI of 30. He hasn't had a major growth spurt yet, but he is on the taller than average side. The doctor spoke to both of us about the importance of getting at least 30 mins of cardio activity (continuous) in every day. My son is very active, but I can honestly say that his activity is not always cardio based or continuous. So we have agreed, as a family, that is something we will help each other with. Friday, my husband took him for a bike ride that was pretty vigorous. Yesterday, he rode his bike around the track while I did a 45 minute walk. Today, because the weather is bad, I set the kitchen timer and he chose to walk around the house, up and down stairs, plugged into his Ipod. It got boring after 15 mins, so I agreed to let him do the other 15 mins later.
Any ideas on keeping a child interested in exercise for weightloss? Does anyone use a chart or take measurements as incentive? I have changed my attitude, somewhat. His weight/our weights and getting healthy are something we HAVE to talk openly about and work together on improving. I just have to figure out how I can make this a positive experience. How can I let him see his efforts are paying off? Will he ever take the initiative to get in his 30 mins, or will I always need to be the "organizer" of this? My older son, who is 20, has been exercising on his own, totally self-motivated, since he was about 15. I'm not sure if this self-motivation thing is age related or personality related.
Anyway, thanks for listening. I feel very sad that my child has to deal with the same issue I had to deal with as a child. I guess I can say, though, that he's fortunate to have a family that is willing to partner with him to be healthy, instead of just making fun of him.
Julie
My 11-yo son has to lose weight. He's been overweight for the past couple years and, while we haven't been in denial about it, I was very hesitant to 'talk" about it. I was an overweight child and was tormented by my family members because of it. I had zero self esteem going into teenhood. I do not want to do that to my son.
What I have done is make sure that there are healthy eating choices available to him. I haven't "monitored" his eating. I make sure that he is active daily. He's pretty athletic anyway, despite his excess weight.
We had our yearly trip to the pediatrician a few days ago. I knew it was going to be brought up as an issue, and I am glad the doctor addressed his weight with both of us. He has a BMI of 30. He hasn't had a major growth spurt yet, but he is on the taller than average side. The doctor spoke to both of us about the importance of getting at least 30 mins of cardio activity (continuous) in every day. My son is very active, but I can honestly say that his activity is not always cardio based or continuous. So we have agreed, as a family, that is something we will help each other with. Friday, my husband took him for a bike ride that was pretty vigorous. Yesterday, he rode his bike around the track while I did a 45 minute walk. Today, because the weather is bad, I set the kitchen timer and he chose to walk around the house, up and down stairs, plugged into his Ipod. It got boring after 15 mins, so I agreed to let him do the other 15 mins later.
Any ideas on keeping a child interested in exercise for weightloss? Does anyone use a chart or take measurements as incentive? I have changed my attitude, somewhat. His weight/our weights and getting healthy are something we HAVE to talk openly about and work together on improving. I just have to figure out how I can make this a positive experience. How can I let him see his efforts are paying off? Will he ever take the initiative to get in his 30 mins, or will I always need to be the "organizer" of this? My older son, who is 20, has been exercising on his own, totally self-motivated, since he was about 15. I'm not sure if this self-motivation thing is age related or personality related.
Anyway, thanks for listening. I feel very sad that my child has to deal with the same issue I had to deal with as a child. I guess I can say, though, that he's fortunate to have a family that is willing to partner with him to be healthy, instead of just making fun of him.
Julie
Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.
Carl Sagan
Im exactily in the same position. I have four children preteen children. My first one just turned 13 , he is the self motivated one just like your 20yr old. I believe its personality that causes this.
My husband and I both suffered as children. And really didnt mean for our kids to have the same childhood as we did weight wise.
Its difficult especially in the summer to keep them active with out having to spend allot on special programs. It gets a little expensive with four to put through the programs.
I was told to have them do 40 minutes twice a day of physical activity. It doesnt have to be sports marathon type stuff.
We belong to the local Y, it is income based for those that need to have a lower membership payment. They have some modern dance type classes, hip -hop (I dont care for it but they like it ..lol), and of course there is swimming there and free basketball.
They can participate with the parents in weights and in the arobic classes.
We invested in a trampoline this summer, that has helped build their endurance, while still being fun. They all have bikes, I encourage races for them with each other or a friend. They do also enjoy going to the skate rink.Thats a couple of hours of using calories.
We have also added a German Shepherd dog (just love them because they are very intelligent, they learn quickly!) for us as a family. We have started 1 mile walks with him in the morning.
I have at least one thought a day of how I have put my children in the same situation as I was at their age. I am hoping that my knowing whats going on is the first step to halting any further damage, and that as I change they will too.
As far as motivating them to do the activites sometimes I just have to be "parent" and tell them to go outside and leave the xbox and psp alone! Most of the time its not a problem because they have fun things to do that they have helped pick out.
At the beginning of summer, I had a sit down with them and asked them help come up with some things to do. Thats where allot of the ideas for what we have done have come from.
And yes I do have to be the organizer and motivater -- for me and them. I dont focus on "losing weight" we focus on having fun in healthy ways , the losing weight comes as an added benifit
Hope this helps some! :)
My husband and I both suffered as children. And really didnt mean for our kids to have the same childhood as we did weight wise.
Its difficult especially in the summer to keep them active with out having to spend allot on special programs. It gets a little expensive with four to put through the programs.
I was told to have them do 40 minutes twice a day of physical activity. It doesnt have to be sports marathon type stuff.
We belong to the local Y, it is income based for those that need to have a lower membership payment. They have some modern dance type classes, hip -hop (I dont care for it but they like it ..lol), and of course there is swimming there and free basketball.
They can participate with the parents in weights and in the arobic classes.
We invested in a trampoline this summer, that has helped build their endurance, while still being fun. They all have bikes, I encourage races for them with each other or a friend. They do also enjoy going to the skate rink.Thats a couple of hours of using calories.
We have also added a German Shepherd dog (just love them because they are very intelligent, they learn quickly!) for us as a family. We have started 1 mile walks with him in the morning.
I have at least one thought a day of how I have put my children in the same situation as I was at their age. I am hoping that my knowing whats going on is the first step to halting any further damage, and that as I change they will too.
As far as motivating them to do the activites sometimes I just have to be "parent" and tell them to go outside and leave the xbox and psp alone! Most of the time its not a problem because they have fun things to do that they have helped pick out.
At the beginning of summer, I had a sit down with them and asked them help come up with some things to do. Thats where allot of the ideas for what we have done have come from.
And yes I do have to be the organizer and motivater -- for me and them. I dont focus on "losing weight" we focus on having fun in healthy ways , the losing weight comes as an added benifit
Hope this helps some! :)
BRAVO Julie! I want to commend you and your husband! No doubt we all want the best for our children, but too often not at the cost of our own sacrafices. Making changes in our diets as a family, participation with our children with fun family oriented exercises, is essential. It sounds as if you are doing just that and it is awesome!!!!
Joie Lehman CCLC
Joie Lehman CCLC
Julie, This is my first visit to this forum, I had the lap band almost two years ago and have lost 100 pounds, my husband lost 30 and our daughter who is 11 has GAINED. I've been hesitant to talk to her too much about her weight as she, like your son is also very active. (swim team, soccer, BB and softball). She is in a sport at all times. My mother however is doing to her the same sort of things that she did to me, she'll say "just think how much faster you would swim, (run) if you didn't have to carry all that weight . I think you're doing all the right things and I might even suggest weight lifting a few times a week, then he could see those muscles too.
Is your son hungry all the time? My daughter seems to be hungry ALL the time. What sort of healthy snacks is you're son eating? My daughter fights me on fresh fruits and vegies. Smothering it with ranch seems to defeat the purpose. Any suggestions?
11yo is such a sensitive age for boys and girls. Even though I don't see or hear other kids making fun of heavier kids (I think the fact that there are many larger kids around these days may have something to do with that), I know my son is still self-conscious....he won't swim without a t-shirt, when he plays sports he'll constantly pull on his shirt so it's not pulling against his stomach, he gets rashes under his arms, he doesn't like his picture taken....it is such a flashback to me as a child. I hurt for him, even though he doesn't seem to let it bother him as far as his mood or activities.
I've tried to limit his snacks to fruits, non-fat/SF yogurt, baby carrots.....having him drink a big glass of water or Crystal Lite if it's close to a meal. We've eliminated things like Mac and Cheese and fast food....as a toddler, all he would eat was mac and cheese and he was a skinny thing! He also loves ranch dressing, so I control the amount (just a bit) and only buy the lowfat variety. We are on vacation, so it's been a bit more difficult as far as food goes, but we all are getting alot of exercise (hiking, swimming, walking).
As I had said in my OP, I was very hesitant to say anything to my son about his weight issue. But, I have to say, since we've approached the issue as a HEALTH issue (not a cosmetic defect, as it had been brought to my attention as a youngster), he is very positive. I don't feel as "hopeless" as I did before, because we are working on the healthy aspect of exercise and diet as a family.
I think our kids ARE very lucky to have parents like us, who care about them and their emotions.
Good luck to you and your daughter!
Julie
I've tried to limit his snacks to fruits, non-fat/SF yogurt, baby carrots.....having him drink a big glass of water or Crystal Lite if it's close to a meal. We've eliminated things like Mac and Cheese and fast food....as a toddler, all he would eat was mac and cheese and he was a skinny thing! He also loves ranch dressing, so I control the amount (just a bit) and only buy the lowfat variety. We are on vacation, so it's been a bit more difficult as far as food goes, but we all are getting alot of exercise (hiking, swimming, walking).
As I had said in my OP, I was very hesitant to say anything to my son about his weight issue. But, I have to say, since we've approached the issue as a HEALTH issue (not a cosmetic defect, as it had been brought to my attention as a youngster), he is very positive. I don't feel as "hopeless" as I did before, because we are working on the healthy aspect of exercise and diet as a family.
I think our kids ARE very lucky to have parents like us, who care about them and their emotions.
Good luck to you and your daughter!
Julie
Hi.
First of all, I applaud you for taking a proactive approach with your son's health. It's easier to say you just can't do anything about it.
I've been listening to the CD recording of 'The Slight Edge' by Jeff Olson. His take on life in general is that we are the result of those small things we practice over time. You may not be able to make a HUGE change in a day, but you can certainly start changing one thing per day...
I'm going to step into the controversial here and say that what I've been studying over the past two years indicates a real problem with "low fat" processed foods, artificial sweeteners, and other chemicals we introduce into our bodies. You might do a bit of digging into those subjects. I'd rather give my child pure olive oil on his salad than low fat dressing. We forbid artificial sweeteners in our home. I use stevia or Xylitol, and even my picky son doesn't mind! (He's a 30-year-old CHILD who loves his sugar, but has always been thin) I'd advise you to let your son literally eat as many raw vegetables as he wants, and this will begin a sort of "detox" in his body by helping get rid of accumulated poisons from chemically altered food.
Make sure he has fiber, fiber, fiber. I just started using a fiber supplement that disappears in water, and it makes me feel FULL for a long time, at a cost of 10 calories. Also, make sure he has adequate minerals in his body, as the body will search for what it needs by producing hunger, and it won't be hunger for GOOD things!
Water is a huge need as well, and he should get half an ounce per pound of body weight, daily. Skip the chemical filled drinks if at all possible.
He is very blessed to have a mom who loves him. I wish you the absolute best.
Ruth
First of all, I applaud you for taking a proactive approach with your son's health. It's easier to say you just can't do anything about it.
I've been listening to the CD recording of 'The Slight Edge' by Jeff Olson. His take on life in general is that we are the result of those small things we practice over time. You may not be able to make a HUGE change in a day, but you can certainly start changing one thing per day...
I'm going to step into the controversial here and say that what I've been studying over the past two years indicates a real problem with "low fat" processed foods, artificial sweeteners, and other chemicals we introduce into our bodies. You might do a bit of digging into those subjects. I'd rather give my child pure olive oil on his salad than low fat dressing. We forbid artificial sweeteners in our home. I use stevia or Xylitol, and even my picky son doesn't mind! (He's a 30-year-old CHILD who loves his sugar, but has always been thin) I'd advise you to let your son literally eat as many raw vegetables as he wants, and this will begin a sort of "detox" in his body by helping get rid of accumulated poisons from chemically altered food.
Make sure he has fiber, fiber, fiber. I just started using a fiber supplement that disappears in water, and it makes me feel FULL for a long time, at a cost of 10 calories. Also, make sure he has adequate minerals in his body, as the body will search for what it needs by producing hunger, and it won't be hunger for GOOD things!
Water is a huge need as well, and he should get half an ounce per pound of body weight, daily. Skip the chemical filled drinks if at all possible.
He is very blessed to have a mom who loves him. I wish you the absolute best.
Ruth
My wife and I know what you are going through our daughter is 13 and she too has a weight problem we are working on. She is probably not as active as your son however we also have to monitor her 30 min of cardio per day. its not easy! But I want to let you know that they do hear it from other kids and probably don't say anything about it. I was overweight as a kid in school and I was called all kinds of names. My daughter is not so "big" but she comes home crying sometimes at some of the bad things other kids have said to her..
My thoughts are with you and your son.. I hope you get it all worked out.. Its just like it was for you just plan it out and one day at a time..
good luck
Rich
Daughter and I have been enjoying our Wii Fit together the last few days (we only got it a few days ago). Yoga is a bear and I can't do crunches yet. And she beats me at shooting hoops. We like hanging out together and doing something fun like the Wii if the weather's bad or hoops, or a long walk. On our cruise she cheated like the devil on taking stairs, but she's impressed we did it almost 100%, she does look up to us for trying to stay fit. And she sees my ageing parent who never made an effort and how horrible it's getting for them. That can't hurt either.
Sounds like your son is lucky to have parents who care and will do things with him. Kids love doing things with their parents over anything else, especially if you get into the habit before they are teens. Don't feel too guilty, he's got to walk his own road.
Sounds like your son is lucky to have parents who care and will do things with him. Kids love doing things with their parents over anything else, especially if you get into the habit before they are teens. Don't feel too guilty, he's got to walk his own road.
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