Don't know where to begin.....

My son is going to be 9 in a few days. He weighs 120 pounds and I am just now getting into the research on line to find out if he has an obsession with food and/or an obsession with eating. We started on this path with his weight when he was 3-4 years old.  We have seen a nutritionist and I know he was too young to even care or understand what the nutritionist talked to us about.  We have been to a doctor/psychiatrist supervised diet and exercise program.  All of these things have not helped at all.   Lately, it seems he is obsessed with food.  All he wants to do is eat and eat a lot.  We really keep him to 4 hours between meals and try our best to limit his food portions.  It is so hard.  He is active in sports, playing basketball right now.  It's said to hear that if he has a choice between two foods, he wants the one that is bigger, not necessarily what he is in the mood to eat.   I think he has a problem and it has not been identified yet.  I will say that he is an anxious child and is on a anti-depressant for anxiety.  So, we do see a counselor and psychiatrist.  This obsession with food has been going on for years and I am starting to get concerned.  When you sit him down and talk to him, he takes a huge defensive side (I would too at age 9) and pretty much shuts down and won't talk.  When we deny him food, he gets very very angry.  Of course, he does not care for many veggies or fruit which I know is our fault.   Just don't know what to do.  Any suggestions are appreciated. I too have a weight problem, had a Lap Band done 7 weeks ago.  I have made a little progress with him as far as eating goes, I've made ground turkey foods and he has liked it a lot. Thanks.

Wow, I am so sorry noone has responded to your thread in almost a month, but I rarely come on this board, so I thought I would stop by. When I was 9 years old I actually weighed more than your son.  I was 190 pounds and by the age of 12 I was 275, and by 13 I was 310 and just went up and up until I eventually hit 458 which I am at right now, and is my highest and I am currently 19.  I played basball from the age of 4-12, I played football all through middle school and I wrestled through middle school and high school, what I have to say to you is physical activity is good, but isn't the main necessity.  You, as a parent, need to limit and have a set schedule when your child eats, and what he eats.  If he keeps crying, tuff, if he wants a certain treat, keep it in moderation.  Don't make it an everyday thing.  I am totally not bashing your parenting skills in anyway, and yes I am still a child myself, but I am old enough to see what my parents did to make me 458 pounds at the age of 19. Personally I didn't realizie how big and uncomfortable that I was with myself until I was 13, and I had already weighed 310 pounds at that point.  Going through your life as an extremely obese teenager is not fun, and if you get to that certain point it is so hard to reverse it! All I am saying to you is, that you can stop this!  He doesn't even have to start of by completely going to healthy foods.  Keep a journal of what he eats on a daily basis, start reducing his portion sizes.  After reducing his portion sizes, start giving those foods to him in moderation (maybe just as a treat).  When dinner time comes around make fo low in calories and low in fat.  If he doesn't want to eat it, then that is on him.  I would personally send him to bed hungry, or he would have to eat what I made him.  75% of the time they will eat what you make.  He is only 9, he doesnt have a car or the money to go buy mcdonalds, you buy it for him and that has to stop.  If he is able to go into the kitchen and make his own foods, have you considering putting a lock around the fridge?  Or around the cabinets?   There is alot of things that you can do to reverse this.  I just don't want anyone to ever end up in my shoes, and I tell my little 8 year old sister that everyday.  I was the first born of my parents and the only super obese one out of my siblings, and I blame it on my parents being young when they had me, and had no money other than to buy me fast food everyday.  I am sorry that this is so long, and I will stop right now.  But just try to make a change, and I hope that it will work out for the better.

I agree with Brok B., who makes some excellent suggestions. "Tough love" may be the best kind of love for our kids. One of the reason I want to have lap band surgery is so I can get more active. As I've gotten heavier and older, I don't do much besides walk to the car and office, and clean house, so my kids don't ride their bikes or do much, either. If I can't go do something physical, they don't want to do it. I used to swim with them and shoot hoops. As much as I appreciate that they want time with Mom, I want them outside shooting hoops. It sounds like you are having a contest of wills with your son, and he is learning to hate food as much as he loves it (something we can all relate to). He might enjoy carot sticks in fat=free ranch dressing, or apple slices with a little peanut butter. If he can make the salads, he might get creative, especially if the veggies are shredded into fine pieces. Jus****ch out for ingredients that pack on the pounds, like cheese. My son is 12 and really likes to cooks, and there are some great kids' cookbooks with healthy recipes. Maybe if he can help plan the meals and snacks, then help prepare them, he would feel like he has some control and is part of the solution.