Mixed Emotions

I am not judging anyone who has allowed their children to undergo WLS, but it seems shocking to me.I have a thirteen year old daughter who is obese, and I had GBS almost five years ago.I don't know if I could allow her to do something like this.I honestly, want to exhaust every other option for her.WLS is so severe and seems scary to have a child who isn't even done going through physical and hormonal growth to have such a serious procedure.Maybe I don't know enough about the advancements made as of late.I really have to encourage anyone in their teens to do everything possible to lose weight before they consider surgery.I know firsthand how it feels to spend these years of your life being heavy, it can be really awful.But, really, really try to do it the old fashioned way first, for your safety.

I completely understand where you are coming from. I dont think it is a good idea for young people to have it unless there is no where else around it. I have been in the process of having my surgery for 3 years. I have been WAY overweight all my life. I have so many health problems, that I have been on a diet since I was in 5th grade. Every diet you could think of, with no luck. Now, having to already been through 3 knee surgeries, I finally got my gastric bypass November 20th. I think no matter what age you are, WLS should be the last resort. It was my last resort so I took it!

Well, I am a Mom of a 14 year old obese daughter and like yourself, I too have had WLS.  I too do know the pain and suffering our children are enduring, I remember it so well. My daughter is even more obese than I was at her age. It is effecting not only her present life, but her future. She hates herself, feels ugly, and is trying to hide from the world. It is killing me inside to see her like this, and part of the reason it pains me so, is because I do remember. You and I both know, that the old fashioned way of doing things, doesn't work for most of us who suffer obesity. Even those that manage to lose their weight, usually gain it back. That does not mean that I agree that WLS should be the answer, especially for our children. Yes it has saved my life and for that I am thankful, but no it is a horrible way to go. It may seem like the only way once you have gotten to the point of no return, but it is hard for me to believe that at the age of 13 and 14, or even a teen at all, that you have hit that point of no return. I had surgery because I was in my mid 40's and my obesity took me to all of the major illnesses, and I could barely walk. Do I want my daughter to live her life in obesity and wait until she gets to that point in her life, wasting it in obesity when there is an option for a better life? No, I want her to live now, in a healthy happy life. So how can we help our children and prevent WLS? You and I and everyone else here, we do know how to eat healthier, we do know it is about calorie intake, fitness, we all know what we should do, but choose not to. The reasons are many, lifestyle, emotional eating, addictions, genetics, metabolism, etc. Each reason is as individual as we each are. However, what ever the reason, it is up to each one of us to learn how to take those necessary steps, one step at a time and learn how to take control of our lives and our situations. WLS is a very serious risk. That risk does not end once your immediate surgery is over. I have known people that have developed serious health problems after many years into their successful WLS. It is not the answer to healthy weight loss! So what do we do? I believe our children, and even those that are adults, need to form peer groups like this one. We need to create a new method of weight loss, not old fashioned concepts that do not work, but a new concept and way of thinking. Yes, diet & fitness must play a role, however, we all know that all of the education about food and fitness, is not going to get us in shape. My daughter needs a peer group, kids like herself that are suffering the same issues in life. Kids that she can become competitive with, striving for goals together. I do believe that by learning a  new method, through a series of attainable steps, supporting personal growth, behavior modifications, goal setting, one can be guided to discover a healthier balanced life. But nothing like that was ever offered for us, and nothing like that is being offered for our children. How can we stick to our goals, when we have not even been taught how to set them? My goals, to start and begin a Teen Weight Loss Support Group in my home town, for my daughter, for me, for their parents, the need is there. I after WLS also became a Certified Christian Life Coach, knowing I had a designed purpose in my life, to help those suffering with obesity. My daughter often roles her eyes when I am on my Coaching soap box, but she knows I am right, and I also become way cool when it is one of her friends that get excited about what I share. I need a forum for my daughter when I can be something besides the MOM! Who wants to listen to MOM? I have recently started a free Weight Loss Coaching Group in Shoutlife.com. I have two clients, both adults and one child pending. The reason she is pending is because I thought perhaps it better if she were with other kids her own age. However, I think I will open this group up and allow all ages until I can get it going, perhaps those that are young can be inspired a little bit by those of us not so young and visa versa. If you are interested in finding out more, maybe together we can live a greater purpose in our lives, sharing and helping these kids, learn a new way to live.  You can find me by clicking on this link. www.shoutlife.com/joie. Many Prayers and Blessings, Joie

I am happy to say that my daughter has lost weight since this first was posted.We have just kept her active and watched food portions.I will continue to help her keep going, it can be done without surgery.

I don't know you or your child so I would never presume to know what is right for either one of you. I do know that I could lose weight but would gain it back - plus more - over time, eating and doing the same activity.  It is as if my body adapted and found a way to regain.  The same goes for my teenaged daughter.  Not all weight problems are emotional or habit related.  Some are genetic.   I wish you and your child the best of luck and continued success.  I also hope you do not become discouraged or blame her if the sucess is not long term.  At the same time I ask that you not demean or belittle those that have found success with WLS - as you have yourself - regargless (sp?) of their age.

You are right, you don't know me, and obviously you don't understand what I said in my original post.You seem to want to jump at the chance to scold me for trying to give my opinion about putting a child through more of a emotional upheaval with weight loss surgery.  Through my own experiences, I have met  allot of people who eat as a means to comfort themselves. Teens and pre teens are at one of the most emotional points in their lives.My message is to not use surgery as a means to solve the problem without giving  HONEST attempts to get healthy. I would say the same thing if my child wanted breast implants. I would have to tell her that there are risks and that the implants may give her confidence at the beginning, but over time, they won't solve all her issues with her self esteem.  Surgery should not be looked at as a magic spell that will solve everything, it is far from that. Weight gain does occur afterwards, if you don't live a healthy lifestyle.That needs to be understood.About half of the people I know that underwent WLS, have regained substantial amounts of weight back.Exhausting all natural methods is crucial, someone may find that simply changing eating habits is enough.Yes, genetically people are obese, but what we are seeing now with the amount of people obese is a epidemic caused by poor nutrition and lack of activity.  So, I ask that you relax a little and take time to get the facts before you come here and try to belittle or demean me.I didn't realize you were an authority on the subject anyway.  

WOW.  The written word is an amazing thing.  It can have a different tone for everyone that reads it.  I just ask you to reread my post when you are in a different frame of mind.  I do not jump at the chance to scold anyone about anything. There is not one means to an end that is one size fits all.  On that I think we agree.