How did you ask your parents?

Hi all, I'm new around here but have lurked around here before. I'm not exactly a teenager (I'm 20), but I'm in college and still on my parents' insurance plan, so going through them is necessary.  Thing is, I don't know how to ask.  They don't know I'm interested, and I don't know how they feel about it.  I think they'd rather I lose the weight from dieting and exercising, but I've been trying to do that for about 7 years on my own but I keep going the wrong direction on the scale.  It doesn't help that my parents are extremely fit (triathletes!) and I am far from it. So...how did you do it?  Should I just come out and ask?  Write a note?  Try to drop clues?  I'm desperate to change my life and I can't stand the thought of another diet gone wrong. Also what is the first step to take?  Make an appointment with a surgeon you're interested in?  Call the insurance first?  Get a recommendation from a primary care physician? thanks!

Hey im new too and i havnt had my surgery yet (its coming up though), but i hope im of some help... im 18, so technically i dont need to go through my parents either, but i am also in college and on their insurance so really i did. My story is a bit different because both my parents had weight loss surgery within the last year, so they obviously sympathised with me a bit. Despite this, my father is still pretty much against me having the surgery but supportive none the less. I basically sat my mother down (i let her deal with my father) and explained that though i am 18, i have been dieting since i was 12. Im fairly healthy, very bad asthma is the only thing i really have to deal with, but if i dont get my weight under control that will change rather quickly. Diabetes runs in my family (my little sister is even borderline). I dont want to wait another 10 years of dieting before i change my life. i explained to her that its not worth waiting any longer because i know (based on my life style and self control) that a massive and fast change in my weight and life isn't going to happen like it needs too. I also explained that living overweight in college is VERY difficult, like it is everywhere. I also talked to my primary care physician and had his support in talking to my mother. Eventually i convinced both her and my father and made an appointment with the doctor who did my parents surgeries.  after all of that i had to later convince them to help pay for it because insurance wont cover mine.... but thats another story. I don't know if this helps at all, but in my case sitting down and talking to at least one of them was the best option.... 

Ok, sorry I am so late on posting. I didn't really have this problem. Me and my Mom have been talking about WLS for about 4 years now. We didn't really get into the process until one of my actual doctors recommended it. I was only 16 at the time so that never did work out. Now that I am 18 I am on the road again with it all. My Mom is all for me having the surgery, and my dad is just worried about something bad happening which is normal. Let see, before you tell them just make sure that you have all the information you can get about it. That way if they ask questions you can answer them. Tell them why you want to get it done. I know I have had many people tell me they don't really want me to have it done because they like me the way I am. BUT they don't understand how hard it is to have health problems, knee problems, surgeries and all that fun stuff. Its hard for people to understand if they are not going through it themselves. Like you were saying that your parents are very fit, they have no way of understanding about being over weight. Give them this site so they can do some of their own research if they want to. I am not sure now to bring it up to them. I guess you can just tell them you want to be healthy if your not, or not wanting to get all these health problems. You can tell them, I don't want to end up like some overweight people. Goodness tell them about me, 3 knee surgeries, diabetes, messed up knees, back problems, you can name it. But thats all I got right now..lol. I hope it helped some. Let us know what happens Have a blessed day!! Jennifer

To the girl wanting to ask her parents: I feel sure if they know and understand how unhappy a person is being overweight, they will support you. Even though they are not overweight, they see you and should know you enough to realize you're not completely happy with your self right now. I am fortunate to have the support of my mother. She had the surgery 2+ years ago and has done wonderful! I did not need to seek my parents for insurance purposes because I am 33, however, it was just as vitally important that they support me. I wish you the best of luck! and like one of the previous replies stated, research it all you can so you will have more to answer their questions. They're sure to have some. Jennifer, I am from Lenoir, NC also. I have been trying to locate individuals  from around here who have had or plan to have the surgery. Have you already had the surgery? I am still on the journey of all the pre-op visits. Hopefully it will go by fast. I liked your scripture verses posted under your reply. My spiritual walk is what gets me through each day. Hope to hear more from you and updates as your surgery approaches and as you lose. Something else, who will be doing your surgery?? I will be seeing Dr. Leland Cook and/or Dr. Monty Cox at Frye Regional. I have heard their team is wonderful! Best of Luck to you, you'll be in my thoughts and prayers. Stephanie

i've been wondering the same thing... how to break it to the 'rents.  except, my parents aren't extremely fit, on the contrary, my mom at least is pretty overweight, and my dad is kinda ehh almost healthy i guess.  but my parents are both, i wouldn't say happy with their weight, but they don't care.  i do.  diabetes runs in my dads family.  how do i tell my parents who i know are just going to turn me down?  if they don't see it as a problem for them, then they aren't going to see it as a necessity for me.  im pretty sure our insurance covers it (aetna? anyone have it) but they won't care. -C (18, college freshman WOO!) GO 2007!

As I think back, I had a hard time telling my parents that I wanted this done. I was in the same situation that you are in. I was 19, in college and still on my parents insurance. I researched getting the lap band for a very long time, and I left little hits that I was looking into it... for example, printing info out on it and accidentally leaving it on the printer for my mom to find. I ended up telling my mom, and at first she thought I didn't need it, but after checking it out she thought it was a great thing. Long story short..... I brought my parents to the info seminar that my surgeon had and they both ended up wanted it too!!! My dad got banded a week after me, and my mom will get banded in 3 weeks! It such a life changing thing (especially when you are in the middle of college school work/finals!!!!) Good luck!!! <3, Kristen

I was 18 when I decided I wanted weight loss surgery. Our situations are different... when I asked my parents about the surgery - I wasn't just asking for permission, I was asking for the $$$... unfortunately my insurance company would not allow me to have the DS so I needed a LOT of $$$. Luckily, my parents were willing to help me and I've since had my surgery. I guess our situations differ also because my parents aren't triatheletes, rather they have struggled with weight issues throughout their lives - AND my mom had RNY 2 years before...  So even though our situations are very different I can say this... be honest. Tell them how concerned you are with health risks due to your weight, tell them how you've tried to lose weight in the past, tell them how willing you are to follow post-op instructions... present your "case" to them with all of the info in mind. They will surely have questions so you NEED to have answers. Make sure you know what you're asking for.  In my case, my parents were convinced by my knowledge of what I was getting myself into.

I would definitely find a doc. Even if he/she's not the "one", find a surgeon to discuss your options with. Again, this will give you information to present to your parents, giving them comfort and understanding of your seriousness about wanting this. GOOD LUCK to you!!