help

I have lost 100 and am at a stand still. IT is driving me crazy. It hurts and scares me. I have been in rut lately. My friend is the only supportive person i have. My son says nothing nice, he is 14. My bf is very unsupportive and says he liked me better when i was heavier. He doesnt want to make love to me anymore and so i have met someone else that i have been seeing for a few months and he is a wonderful person, but doesnt help my home situation. I think my home life has a lot to do with my stall in weight and it scares me very very much. I need help and an angel that can talk me through it everyday, lol, or at least every now and then. II really scared. Lisa

Hi Lisa, I understand that you are scared & frustrated. The first year while not simple is the easiest because you are losing fairly steady with a few plataues along the way. After that as they say the honeymoon phase is over. You have to work harder and you have to stay on the "plan": heathly food choices, water, vitamins & exercise. If you follow that 90% of the time you will drop more weight. You usually lose up until about the 18th month, however some stop earlier. I was below my goal at about 14 months out. I'm going on 3 yrs now and maintain between 5 lbs either up or down. As for support issues, that's a tough one. You learn fast *****ally cares and who doesn't or just doesn't want to talk about your changes. I have family that have treated me liked crap and I have some that have been very supportive while some of my close friends are jealous and treat me badly. You just have to realize that it's their problem, NOT yours. I'm the same person in my heart but I know I have changed.....I'm much more outgoing, assertive & happy. I just wanted to tell you that you and only you can get out of that rut. If you are making poor choices.....take a deep breath and tell yourself, I have come this far & I don't want to go back to the old ways. Try to remember why you did this in the first place and think back about how awful you felt about yourself and your bad health for being obese. You can do it! Get back on the wagon girl and go get um HUGS TO YOU & congrats on your success.

Congratulations on your 100 lbs gone that is amazing At least you have your friend and yourself. do not forget you are a source of support and love for yourself. love is not something that others give you and you take in. it is something that is inside of you that others can wake up and you share. so wake up the love in you and use it on yourself. Teen agers are into themselves they have there own issues and are coping with a difficult time in there lives. add to that the possible tensions at home and you have the makings of a surly teen. be sure that you keep the lines of communication open and pay time and attention to your child he may be 14 but he is your baby and he needs his momma pay attention to his friends his activities and his feelings because that is your job do not expect him to act as a shield against your insecurities and relationship problems. If you are having problems with your man a new side dish will not help if you are tired of your man say bye bye if you want to stay with him go to counseling or take some tantric sex classes or go to the strip club or at least talk honestly and openly about the future and let him know how you feel while listening to his feelings without the theatrics. life is hard it takes work you had wls for yourself it is your body if you are happy with the results so far that is all that matters no one else has to pat you on the back, pat yourself. what are you scared of it is your life if you get it wrong do it over apologize and start over but do not stick your head in the sand or run away thinking that everything is going to be ok because not dealing with something is also a decision. Good luck Dee

Lisa, You sound a lot like me, just that I am married. I have always been a stress eater. That's how I ballooned from 195lbs when I was 18 to almost 500 lbs in the beginning of 2002. I had the surgery and lost just about 200lbs of it. I kind of hoped my wife would want me more, but no, that didn't happen. Sucks big time I know. I slept around a bit, but that didn't do much for me either, other than get good sex. Emotionally it's a spiral staircase. Before we can get others to like us, we have to like ourselves first. If those who profess to love us do honestly love us, they'll support us in what we have done. That takes someone very special. Perhaps they are not around at all, who knows. The only thing I can say is that we must stay true to our goal. To get the weight off and deal with our lives the best we can. Do you have any hobbies? Are there any social / activity clubs you can become involved with? Do something that will occupy your time and mind in a productive manner! If your boyfriend can't love you for who you are, then know what you have to do. Don't expect teenagers to be all that helpful, especially boys! LOL!! They have 2 things on their minds..the opposite sex and avoiding parents at all costs! LOL (I'm a middle school teacher, I see it every day!) Hey, if my wife had the surgery (yes she's overweight as well) and looked as good as you do now, you know I'd be doing whatever I had to to make sure she wanted to be as intimate as possible!! Keep up the good work on your weight loss, don't let the small stuff cause you grief and become the best you you can be!! You took the first step, had the surgery, now fini****! Chris