Help with the bumps in the road

My fiancé, Laura, has had WLS, I want to provide more support for Laura in her journey, she has accomplished a tremendous amount and I want her to be as successful as she can be. I initially had apprehensions regarding her surgery, Major surgery, will she be ok, Will our relationship be OK, Will I be OK with the new Laura, How will I handle added attention she will be getting. You know the typical. We talked about these issues extensively before the surgery. We both were happy with the decision. She was really psyched and I understood her need to do this. Unfortunately for me, she got scheduled super quickly for the surgery. I was on a business trip when she went through the procedure. I was so worried about her, I called to check her condition from 2 different airports. I have gone to some of her support meetings and post op doctors visits. She came through it wonderfully. She is so incredibly full of energy now it is amazing. She just celebrated her seventh month post op and has lost 100 + pounds and is in the 100s. I am proud of her. I tell her so also. Currently I am on a 32 day business trip in Manila, while I have been gone Laura has been going out with friends a lot. She has been dancing with various men and having fun. She tells me about this and I trust her. I worry about her and tell her so, men are jerks and she needs to be careful. Also I am concerned if she places herself in the path of temptation enough eventually she will be tempted. She has a girlfriend she is trying to help get back on the market after a messy divorce. Well the other night she got this friend talking to a guy and of course he had a friend so she talked to him. Well she confessed to me she found him interesting. She found herself thinking "if I was not with Ed then I would consider this man". Well now she is freaked out to some extent. What really freaked her out was she said something about going out the next night and he asked where, she rattled off like 3 places. She went to one of them and he was there, it is 45 minutes for this guy to get to town so he made a special trip. Now she really is freaked out. She is doubting herself, and our relationship some right now. She has told me people at work have asked her when she is going to dump me since she is skinny now and I am not. She is not that shallow, but I have some concerns regarding how I can help her through this time. I do trust her, nothing has happened. I also know she loves me. We communicate well as you can gather from what I have stated. Can anyone offer suggestions. I am her friend and I want her to be happy with herself and with us. Is this one of those set her free and if she comes back to me moments? Thank you in advance for your thoughts

Ed, I am a firm believer now that their should be more counseling before WLS. As we become thinner our whole world changes and we get a great deal more attention it is how it is dealt with that makes the difference. The extra attention is something that perhaps wasn't there before and when guys make special attempts to gain our attention it is very flattering. Also with married couples if the spouse is not thinner this can become an issue as the woman loses the weight and relooks at her life. I am going through this exact thing right now. I don't think it is very nice of her friends to ask when she is going to dump you that doesn't seem quite like what a friend should be doing. Open communication is key even if it hurts. I wish you the very best of luck. Cheri

Cheri, Thank you for replying to my post. I appreciate the sincerity with which you spoke. I want to give you an update. I was in the States for a month after my trip to Manila. Right now I am in Argentina for another month. Anyway when I got back we went away for a 5 day weekend. My daughters joined us for 2 nights. We rekindled our flame! In the month I have been with her between trips I have never felt so close to her. Communication is the key!! I think my exwife going out and eventually leaving me, had left a severe trust issue in my mind and I was carrying it forward. While I was with Laura this last month we have gone out dancing, gambling and having fun. Some idiot even hit on her while she was sitting with me. She reacted by laughing at them and snuggling up to me more. I think my trust issue is resolving itself in my mind now. In retrospect the idiot did a good thing. Laura and I are regular posters to our sites so if you want you can look us up and read our success! This bump took us to a higher road! And it is good!! Laura Koenigs, Ed Fife are the names on our profiles. Thanks