new surgery new husband

Hi everyone.... My experience so far with my husband is very supportive and I love that about him, but I feel sometimes that he would rather have a skinny women and that is why he is so supportive. Like he is being selfish! I'm afraid to ask him if this is how he really feels or if I'm just being a poop! Can I get some advice here

Hi there i would think it he wanted a stick he would have married one.He probably loves you for who you are and accepts how you are. I would let it go with the flow right now and see how he reacts to all of this.When a spouse has the surgery there are alot of questions the mate has to deal with. Keep an open communitation going through out it all. best of luck Richard R.N.

Vicki have you had WLS? If I understand this correctly, you are UPSET that your husband is understanding? I know lots of women who would pay money for him. Understanding is what it is all about lady. This surgery is for both of you so you can have a healthy long life together. Give him a hug and kiss. If you still aren't sure you want him, email me I'll get someone to take him off your hands. My husband is 1yr post op with a -154 pounds. I'm a happy camper. Take care and God bless. Brenda A

I understand what you mean. You want him to love you for you. No one likes to feel like their spouse would like them BETTER if they were different. (I can totally relate......... my husband has gotten rather fond of the idea of a skinnier wife. Makes me anxious that I might not be able to live up to his "dream" image of the new improved me. It is hard enough to fight another woman, but impossible if the other woman is you.... only better! lol lol lol ) But I am ok with it. I decided at the rate that my insurance is dragging their feet, he is probably stuck with old un-improved me! Either way--- what he gets is what he gets.. period.

You may be projecting. I am _not_ wanting my spouse to have surgery, and she fears it is because I like her heavier. I am worried about the dangers and still remember all the weight she lost when she was on weigh****chers. I think she could do it again, and will go on it with her this time. (I was too cheap to sign up before, but wish I had now.) For appearance, it is not that important to me. If I there were a reason I wanted her to be lighter, it would be so she would feel better about herself. And she used to go on walks and bike rides with me. As for guys and what they are attracted to, I learned way back in college how beauty is initially related to appearance, and then changes by how the woman treats me. If they are haughty or difficult to get along with, they actually become less attractive. Conditioning. If they were high-maintenance or big spenders (often goes with the beautiful clothes), I would find myself staying away from them entirely!

Maybe he's just worried about your health and want you to be arround for a while longer.

as Richard said... he married you for you so you don't need to worry about that. let me ask you this... aren't you excited about the idea of being thin yourself??? can you blame any man for wanting a thinner wife! It's going to rekindle your marraige. I am fighting for this surgery not only for my health and for my self esteam... I'm fighting to get this surgery for my husband too! I'm excited that he wants this for me... It's for both of you! blessings rebecca