Husband of a WLS patient

Good Evening to all.. My wife (Heather) is scheduled for wls on Dec 17,2004, which is my birthday as well. I'm very happy for her as she has been heavy almost her entire life. She has investigated every angle of having this surgery, and feels that this is her last attempt at trying to loose her weight. I have known her since we were in elementary school together (5th grade). We lost touch with 1 another after junior-high and met her again 4 yrs ago while I was working at Wal-Mart. I was going thru an ugly divorce with the ex when we met. She has been my "shining star" all thru this; and I hers. We married in Sept. 2001. Since this time she has lost twice.. 100 lbs each time..but to only gain it all back and more. This year, she has seriously looked into wls as a last resort to lose, which i commend her on . We have gone to all her appointments that were required and also went to a couple of support meetings. We live so far away from the hospital where she's going to have her surgery, that that's all we've had time for. I was so surprised and when she received her date so quickly I began to get very nervous and scared. I'm wondering if I'm over-reacting or if this is normal for me to feel this way. I know all the possible problems there can be, but I just can't help this feeling I have. I'm thinking that she'll come thru it just fine. I thankyou all for allowing me to say what i feel Roger

Hi there !!. I know its hard and your going to feel like your being left out in the dark by all of this.It is only normal to feel excitment and worry for your spouse when they are working toward doing this.There and many doctors visits, sport meeting and groups where you are not going to be welcomed at.Also your spouse is opening up a new life, and this may worry you.Well relax!!!... if you have a Strong Marriage this will make it stronger.I understand it is hard to take a back seat while all of this is going on thats why I jioned the boards to talk things over with other people who spouses have had this done.Just be there for her and help her when she needs it. best of luck Richard R.N.

Hi Roger, I just wanted to say that your feelings of are very normal. It sounds like you and your wife have a very strong and healthy relationship. My DH and I have been together for 13 year but grew up together. He has been my rock and we are more in love today then the day we began seeing each other. I would not be succeeding as well without him. I applaud you on supporting her that is what she need the MOST right now. I'm sure you mean the world to each other and this is the biggest blessing. My DH and I never miss a WLS support group meeting and we see many more spouses coming which is GREAT! My husband has a profile on OH just like you do and he has found answers to questions that I can't always get for him. He is so proud of me and feeds off my engergy and possitive attitude. My big body didn't fit my personality nor my lifestyle. I was very active but did it all in pain. This has saved and changed my life. You will do great and have a healthy wife to spend many more active years with! All the best! Kim 237 to 160 (30 away from goal)