786 pounds- bmi: 112.8

Hello. My name is Roberta Norman. I am under my husband's name, so you can look at his profile if you'd like, although I have a profile with obesityhelp.com also. I am concerned for my husband, more-so now than ever. He is currently taking his four-week required class with the dietician. We are waiting to hear from Medicaid on approval and can't see the surgeon until then. He has approximately thirteen specialists backing him up, but it is taking forever. We feel as though the insurance company and the surgeon don't care about his life, only money. Jeremy is 786 pounds, 5'10" tall, (bmi: 112.8) and just turned 20 years old. He cannot walk, bathe himself, get up to use the restroom... anything. He is bedridden. He only leaves the house for appointments, which are all two hours away. He has horrible lymphodema, cellulitis, frolich's syndrome (low-testosterone) and severe arthritis in both knees. I am afraid because of the waiting that he may die before the surgery even comes. We started this all in January 2004... and he has gained over 150 pounds since then. Because of his condition, we haven't made-love since February (I don't care what anyone says--we have tried EVERYTHING and it is impossible!). He has always been heavy and this will be an entirely new experience in his life. I know in my heart that he will not leave me if he loses weight... my biggest concern is him living through it. We have only been married for two years- he is my soulmate and I could Never be with anyone else--only him. We have big plans for the future- like having children, which is impossible now also because he is infertile (we pray only until after the weight is dropped) due to complications. It breaks my heart to hear people with a bmi of 30-something getting approved for surgery in less than six months and acting like they'll die (of course there are the few who actually have a health problem such as diabetes or something--but most don't). Most people in the obesityhelp chat room are actually at Jeremy's goal weight before they even have the surgery. I can't imagine living life without him. We had to drop out of college, move back in with his parents, and I can't work because I'm his primary care taker. Luckily, he was approved for SSI, but that barely makes the bills. Seriously, all we need is support and we can't find it in the chat room-no one can relate unless they have been near his size. Please, anyone, all he has in the world are his parents and me---absolutely no friends. He needs someone, anyone, to talk to or just to Sincerely tell him everything will be okay. If anyone could help us out, please respond, post on his profile page, or even email him ([email protected]). Please... I'm tired of him living his miserable life thinking I'm the only person who loves him. ~Always Mrs.Roberta Norman

Hey, I know what it feels like to wait for insurance approval. It's not fun and it can be frustrating. Your both in my thoughts and prayers for a fast approval and a successful surgery. Best of LUCK, Craig Johnston

Hi Roberta and Jeremy: I have notified the support group I belong to that you may be coming by to join us for support. My heart goes out to you both. We have people who are or have been in the 500 pound level so we understand your fight. Keep holding on. I have sent you messages through your profile as well. I have just been OK'd for surgery in the US. It has taken a long time but my surgery will be the end of September or early October. Good luck to you both and please join us. Melanie

Hi Jeremy and Roberta, My heart goes out to both of you. I am praying that everything comes thru quickly for you guys and that Jeremy gets to have this surgery.. If you want too post on our board we are at the Lapband forum. He will find loads of support over there. Regardless of the personal decision on what kind of surgery too have we are all in this for the same reason, which is to be happy and healthy! Hope too see you over there Warm Regards, Christel 8/25/04

Roberta, Just wanted to say that you and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers. I am praying that he gets approved and that he will have a speedy recovery. I am also married to my soulmate and could never imagine life without him. Good luck on your journey and God Bless you.

Hello Jeremy and Roberta, I am also a member on the lap band forum and every one over there is so friendly and helpful. I will keep you both in my prayers that everything will start moving along for you. I wish the best for you both and hope to see you on the boards. Good Luck and keep us all posted. Roberta, Jeremy is very lucky to have someone to care about him so much. Keep praying and trust in god, and it will all work out. Stay in touch. Kim

Roberta, What a beautiful unselfish act of love and concern on your part. You are to be commended for all that you are doing for your husband! Please let Jeremy know that there are hundreds, thousands of people on these boards who are saying silent prayers, sending good thoughts and sending virtual hugs of encouragement for you both! God bless you both. I hope your prayers are answered soon! Leatha Lapband

Hi Roberta and Jeremy- My heart and my prayers go out to you, today and everyday. We are all here for you. We are on this journey together and all we really have is each other. Take one day at a time, one minute at a time if you have to, and know there are lots of people praying for you. LOVE Christine

I am very sorry to hear that you are having to wait so long for surgery for you husband. I got my first paperwork for one surgeon in July 2003. I saw that surgeon in November and December and was scheduled for a February surgery date. However, she refused me because I wouldn't accept a blood transfusion. Fortunately I had found out about lapband too and decided to check out another program in August 2003. I went to my first meeting in September and the required second one in October. When my other surgeon cancelled on me I was peace with the decision to go for the band instead of RNY. My first info meeting was in September 2003 and I didn't get my surgery until June 2004. I was very proactive and pushed my way along where I was able to. Many places I wasn't able to and had to do what they said. I wrangled to get appointments earlier. Others who were in my classes still haven't had surgery for various reasons. Some insurance, others had health issues they had to clear up and others just weren't psychologically ready for it. My surgeon said it can take anywhere from 8-12+months to get surgery at their program. They have recently added new doctors, etc to allow the wait to be a lot shorter. They are saying 4-6 months now. I had to wait and I didn't like it at all! But I had no choice because of the program I was in. It is awful having to wait. I am sure you are very anxious because your husband does have many health issues. I had mild sleep apnea, polycystic ovary syndrome, borderline diabetes a few times over, arthritis in my knee, and it was getting to be more and more difficult to do things. I wish that you hadn't said what you did about the 30something BMI patients getting approved in less than six months and acting like they are going to die. Any one with obesity has increased risks of being ill and dying. Heck, skinny people drop dead of heartattacks often these days too. I was about 39-40 for my BMI and it was enough for surgery. I was 268 at my known high and I am 5'9". I used to be 5'10". I am so thankful for my surgery. I don't have to take 2 of my medications anymore. My blood pressure has dropped to normal levels. I am feeling better, more rested. I can move around easier too. My knees still hurt me when I move and I will need to get surgery for them. I am thankful that my husband had insurance that covered it. It took me longer than 6 months to get through all the hoops I had to jump through though. It was August 03-June04. I am sure that you are very frustrated, but that wasn't a nice thing to say. I hope that you get approval for your husbands surgery very soon. It sounds like he really needs it. He is lucky to have such a loving and caring spouse such as yourself. Not many women your age would be willing to be caretaker for their bedridden husbands who are so young. It is so sad that at such a young age he is facing such challenges. You are both in my thoughts! Kerri

It breaks my heart to hear people with a bmi of 30-something getting approved for surgery in less than six months and acting like they'll die (of course there are the few who actually have a health problem such as diabetes or something--but most don't). did ya miss the part in the parenthetical or did you really just feel the need to express your discontent?