feeling alone post surgery

 Back in 2009, my husband of 15 years had gastric bypass surgery.  A year and a half later, he turned 50.  I think after losing 150lbs and hitting that milestone hit him hard. We can fight and yell and scream at each other. Nothing changes.  He thinks he can drink like when he was 21. He can't handle it. Is it normal to go thru changes where you feel you don't need anyone after you have this surgery.  He gets mean at times. Especially when he drinks. He is not violent or abusive, just likes to yell at me and my son when he thinks we are "attacking" him or arguing with him.  Its just been very different since he had the surgery. Don't get me wrong, Im glad he had the surgery and lost the weight. It was a health issue and he needed it, but part of me wants the fat jolly guy back. I think 50 hit him hard and mentally hes having a hard time coping with the changes in his body. But i dont know how to help him. I keep hoping it will pass.. He was smoking for a while because he thought that would help curb his appetite, and he is getting one back. He gained 16 lbs and he thinks he is getting fat, he is afraid of being 300 lbs again. I just don't know how to cope with this anymore. When he drinks, and not all the time. He says we should just "end it" I dont want a divorce, but Im not sure how long i can kep going. Any help or words of wisdom out there. Please

I think we all could use a refresher course on marriage sometimes. What I mean by that is by talking to a professional. Express to your husband that you guys need some outside help to try and resolve your issues. Tell him you don't want to give up on your marriage. Ask him if he would be willing to talk to someone like a marriage counselor or pastor from church. I hope this helps you. I feel sometimes after being married for many years that couples need alittle rejuvenation sometimes.

hi there my wife had the surgery in 2009(august) and has dropped from 484 to aprox 220 or so and still loosing.   she is only 32 but also yells(sometimes)  she can not drink anymore.  she can but is drunk after 2 drinks.  because of a smaller stomach.  we were told before surgery to expext mood swings.  and she has that.  its been like this for 2 1/2 years!!!!!    I'm also glad that she had the surgery too. she is more healthy.   Its hard for her because she cant eat like she used to and at family dinners.  her mother and aunt  still make pies with surgar something she cant eat.  

I don't want to alarm you and I know nothing about you or your marriage. I have been married 30 years (I am 50). Is it possible that he is having an affair? Sometimes when a person hits 50, he or she may think, "You know I have what, 25 years or less left. Am I really as happy as I should be? Did I get to do all those things that I want to do in life? Or am I attractive? I like my spouse, but can I now do "better" and have more money or  more fun with someone else? Some of these feelings occur to people whether they had WLS or not. He may want to talk to you, but he may feel guilty because maybe you have been a great partner, but he wants to 'explore" something else out there. He may pick fights, so he can say "see she's really not that nice" so he can justify what he has done or what he wants to do.   Just some ideas for you to consider- remember- I don't know your situation.