Wife has gained since LapBand

My wife had Lapband surgery about a year ago and has gained about 30 lbs. since.  She went back to see the surgeon for a single follow up and hasn't been back since.  In the last year she hasn't changed her diet one bit and I'd be surprised if she's made a total of three meals in that time that were remotely healthly.  She won't discuss the subject at all without an argument and slent treatment that lasts weeks.  Her health is suffering and I'm at a loss for what to do.  So far two of our three daughters are now overwight because they follow their mother's habits.

I'm the bad buy because I try to point out the real solution, as she and most in her situation won't admit, is to eat well and exercise.  I don't know how to help my wife and daughters.  Does anyone have any ideas on how to get through to her?

 Weight is a very touchy issue for women. The thing is, I'm sure your wife is beating herself up, in her own mind, without you even realizing it. I have been reading a really great book called, Women, Food, and God. It's not a religious book, at all. I suggest buying her that book and telling her you think she might enjoy it. It's a REALLY good book and a HUGE eye opener. I'm sure she is feeling really bad about herself already, so all you can do is be there to support her. Good luck with everything!!!

Ask you wife to join my Failed Bands group, and I'll see if there is something I can help her with or you can PM me the link to her profile and I'll invite her on over. She doesn't need to know about this conversation.

Please PM your wife's OH user name so I know who she is and I can approve her membership into my group.

P.S. The link to my group is in my siggy.

ALSO You should join my group too because you would be surprised at how many bandsters that the lap band has failed. The band is a piece of crap and should be recalled from the market. Be happy that it is not physically harming your wife like it has harmed so many others.

I agree with a previous post...she is probably already beating herself. up.  I'm not sure about men but us women can constantly stress about how we look or our weight so I'm sure she's aware but just having a hard time.  I have also heard lap band doesn't work as good or even at all and I've known a lot of people on these boards to get a revision from lap band to gastric bypass.  I applaud you for wanting to help her and your daughters, most men wouldn't even try or gie up easily and support is a great thing.

I am lap band patient and know how hard it is to loose the weight with the band. And I have a few friends who were not sucessful with the band also. What I would say you should do is not mention it again. Not sure of your situation, but maybe you can cook dinner a few times a week (crockpot works wonders for healthy working professionals). Engage her for walks, tell her you want to spend some quality time with her and discuss your problems, and ask her for adivse on things. This way she doesnt feel as if you are making go for walks to loose weight. Or maybe you take over the grocery shopping dont ask for a list. I think if you start slowly eventually she will confide in you about her band struggles.
It takes time to find the right restriction with the band, you can visit the LapBand site and see the struggles and positive remarks that we tell eachother.
Good luck!