Marriage saved because of WLS

 

I have read a lot of posts here where wls patients talk about how the surgery and loss has affected their marriage negatively and decided it was about time I tell my story.  I met my husband when I was 16, was engaged after 2 months, moved in with him at 17, married him at 18.  That was almost 17 years ago and today things could not be better.  I was not skinny when we met, but I was not obese either.  A little on the heavy side, but in a nice curvy way.  Things were great for the first 9 to 10 years of marriage but as we "settled", we quit doing all the fun little things that we used to do in the beginning.  We were married but we lost the excitement of it.  All thru our marriage I kept gaining a little weight until I reached my highest weight of 363.  Thats when I begin to seriously look into weight loss surgery.  I had tried other methods but never lost a pound.  Of course I was not happy and I projected that onto my husband.  He always swore that he did not care what I looked like and that my weight did not matter to him.  Maybe it didn't but I still doubt that statement as I will show you in a minute.   After 10 years of marriage, we finally started having problems.  I was restless, wanted to do stuff, get active even if I was embarrassed to go out into the public.  He was content the way things were, or so he said.  By the way, he had also gained a little weight during this time, though not as much as me. 

He was very supportive of my decision to have surgery and even helped me come up with the financing to go to Mexico to have it done.  He was by my side the whole time.  Now, the surgery was not a cure all to our problems.  It was and still is a very emotional roller coaster.  I am down 110 lbs in just over 7 months.  I feel better, get a lot of compliments and it shows in my attitude towards others.  My hubby has even lost weight along with me.  About 3 months after the surgery, we hit a bad spot and I even spent one night at a friends while we talked about divorce.  I knew it was serious when we started talking about who gets the pets(we have no kids, just lots of animals).  We finally took the time to sit down and really talk the following day.  From there on, we have made the effort to support each other. We both find ways to show we care. I work 2 jobs, about 75 hours a week and he works full time so we don’t get to spend a lot of time together. We have learned to make time to do stuff that we both enjoy. Now when I say the surgery saved our marriage, its because we both changed for the better because of it. I have learned to like myself again and so have a better more positive outlook. Contrary to what he always swore, he is now showing interest, physical interest in me again. And it’s the little things that I just love. For example, just this weekend, we went out to dinner and for the longest time, we would just sit on opposite ends of the table from each other, almost as far away from each other as we could. So, when we got to the restaurant, he sat on his side, I slid in on the opposite side and almost immediantly, he asked me why I was sitting so far away. I was floored, but wasted no time in sliding over next to him. When I was so very overweight, it may have been my weight or it may have been my attitude, or both or something entirely else that I cant think of, but regardless of the reason, we have the passion back in our marriage that with time we lost. I constantly feel like a newlywed again, eager to get home to see him, we talk on the phone everyday at break time. We learned to communicate and enjoy each others company. He has become my best friend again and I could not imagine starting my new life without him. Sorry this is so long, but wanted to share.

 

 

Thank you for sharing your story. My hubby and I have been together 13 years and married for 9. We have hit the things are comfortable and have grown apart. Things are starting to change for the better but it is such a long process. Your post reminded me that communicating is the key. Thank you again. And here's hoping that things just keep getting better and better.

That's a great story!  Thank you for sharing!  I am scheduled for surgery on February 18th and am nervous about my marriage going downhill.  We've been married for almost 4 years and have had issues of our own, but I'm worried that my increased self esteem that I'm hoping to will hurt our marriage more.  I just pray that we can make it through this hurdle.  Please pray for us.

Thank you again for sharing, I hope our relationship is stronger after this adventure.

Jessica

Christina, that is a wonderful story.  I am so happy that you and Donny have reconnected. 
Donna (Your surgery partner)

http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/wls_in_your_20s/4128909/Yo -Read-This-NOW/

I agree with you! I cant say it saved my marriage because I like to think it was not going to end. But then again it certianly showed me the women I fell in love with all over again.

thank you for sharing your story. It is great to hear positive stories about marriage.  We all have struggles.  Best of luck to you!!