just the beginning of her weight loss surgery journey + me.
my wife & i have been trying to lose weight for about a year now. we've both made some good progress so far but we were always working together knowing that she would be having wls. on wednesday she had the roux-en-y procedure done & her mom is here for the week to help out with everything & just be support to us. we're staying in a hotel so it's hard to plan meals around her since she's back here with us after getting out just the day after surgery. i feel terrible already for leaving her & going to get lunch, ect. my mother in law is trying to reassure me that i need to eat & that this wasn't something that i did or made her do but i still feel guilt.
it's kind of overwhelming because i feel that things have changed so drastically in just 3-4 days. on a trip to the store to get her a pill crusher i bought two big candy bars & have eaten 1 1/2 of them completely compulsively. this isn't normal behavior for me & i can't really understand why i did it besides that i'm under stress & feel uncomfortable, out of place & worried. i don't want these things to become habits for me i feel ashamed that i even let it happen at all.
has anyone else ever gone through these similar feelings? how did you deal with them? surely things get better with time, right?
it's kind of overwhelming because i feel that things have changed so drastically in just 3-4 days. on a trip to the store to get her a pill crusher i bought two big candy bars & have eaten 1 1/2 of them completely compulsively. this isn't normal behavior for me & i can't really understand why i did it besides that i'm under stress & feel uncomfortable, out of place & worried. i don't want these things to become habits for me i feel ashamed that i even let it happen at all.
has anyone else ever gone through these similar feelings? how did you deal with them? surely things get better with time, right?
Don't be too hard on yourself. It IS a time of big change, but you seem committed to supporting your wife and to improving your own health, as well. That's great. I had wls in July, but my husband and I have been on this journey together for over a year, and it means so much to me that he is a participant, not just an observer.
His own eating and fitness habits have changed, too, although he doesn't have the restrictions I have. He gladly gave up pasta and rice and a bunch of the carbs we used to have around the house -- that certainly helped me keep better control of my eating. For my part, I don't begrudge him his servings or more varied food choices. In the end, at home, we eat very similar things, but I eat a lot less of it, that's all. ... You and your wife will work out a system that fits you. Maybe you'll eat similar foods, maybe you'll get a separate cupboard for your 'taboo' foods, or something like that. What's important is that you want her to be happy and supported ~ that's clear in your concern about what to do for meals while she's convalescing.
As for lunch, etc., don't worry. She probably isn't envying you. She probably doesn't feel like eating much at all. Even today, there are things I used to eat that my husband still enjoys, and I think 'Yech!' ... Envy isn't a problem. lol.
Just stop punishing yourself with candy bars. You have the right to be on this weight loss journey with your wife, even if you are taking slightly different routes. Honestly, in the end, the difference between my husband and I is mainly portions. We eat and exercise and talk about this journey together. Neither one has left the other behind.
His own eating and fitness habits have changed, too, although he doesn't have the restrictions I have. He gladly gave up pasta and rice and a bunch of the carbs we used to have around the house -- that certainly helped me keep better control of my eating. For my part, I don't begrudge him his servings or more varied food choices. In the end, at home, we eat very similar things, but I eat a lot less of it, that's all. ... You and your wife will work out a system that fits you. Maybe you'll eat similar foods, maybe you'll get a separate cupboard for your 'taboo' foods, or something like that. What's important is that you want her to be happy and supported ~ that's clear in your concern about what to do for meals while she's convalescing.
As for lunch, etc., don't worry. She probably isn't envying you. She probably doesn't feel like eating much at all. Even today, there are things I used to eat that my husband still enjoys, and I think 'Yech!' ... Envy isn't a problem. lol.
Just stop punishing yourself with candy bars. You have the right to be on this weight loss journey with your wife, even if you are taking slightly different routes. Honestly, in the end, the difference between my husband and I is mainly portions. We eat and exercise and talk about this journey together. Neither one has left the other behind.
*high* *wls date* *current* *dr's goal* *mine* 320 293 214 190 170
Most Active
Recent Topics
