Please Help! Worried about my husband's health

 I'm not sure what to do.  My husband had lap band surgery about 4 years ago and has done well with it.  He has lost 160 lbs.  I have been very supportive of him since he made the decision to have surgery, and in the beginning went to all of the appointments with him.  The problem is this:  His way of dealing with the lap band is that he eats pretty much whatever he feels like and then throws up (or I guess it is called PBs) everything that he eats.  Every time that he eats something, he keeps a cup or bottle or can near him and he eats and then it comes back up and he spits it in there. When our family eats dinner, the cup is on the table.  When we go out to dinner, he asks for a disposable cup. Am I right to assume this is not normal or healthy?  I'm worried that something bad is going to happen, not to mention that it can't be good for his teeth.  And I will be honest - it is completely gross and it is hard to be a supportive wife when someone is throwing up in front of you every time that they eat.  I have told him that I think it is unhealthy and that he should discuss this with his Dr. but I know that the last time he went in he did not tell the complete truth about how often he PBs.  What should I do?  He is a person who has a very strong personality and it is not like I can force him to change.  I can make suggestions, or tell him that I'm concerned, but he does not listen to that.  In fact, he makes me feel like I am being unsupportive when I say anything about it.  But first off, it worries me and I love and care about him, and second - is there anyone who wouldn't think that this was gross?  Why does he think that it is not gross?  And why would anyone want to kiss someone or be intimate with someone when all they can think about is the throw up in the cup?  I have a very sensitive gag reflex and this is just stressing me out - the longer it goes on, the harder it is to just sit and idly watch it happen.   Also, he tends to eat late at night and then have things come up while he is sleeping and then he wakes up and coughs for hours.  It is scaring me!   Any advice on what to do or how to handle this? Am I being an unsupportive wife?  Thanks for any input.

I would be concerned too.   This is not normal and certainly NOT how the band is supposed to work.  I don't know exactly what to tell  you to do about it though.    Men can be so stubborn when it comes to their health.  

Did he have to go through a psych evaluation before he had the surgery?   Perhaps you can get him to contact his surgeon and have an evaluation done.   Perhaps you can make an appointment for him and get him to go to his regular doctor.   I don't know just how stubborn your husband is but I would be on his case constantly if my husband was doing this.

if he refuses to go to a doctor, I think I would have to refuse to have dinner with him and would flatly refuse to ever go out to dinner with him.   I'm sure it is embarassing for you and I'm sure that not many other folks want to be a part of this discusting habit either.

Good luck to you.   I wish I could give some really good advice, but I just don't know what I would do either.  

Bonnie

Additionally, his band can turn and eventually errode into his stomack. He needs help.

I work at a surgeons office for weight loss, and one of the most calls I get from patients is that I just had a fill yesterday and im vomiting even water. I have been trained that if a patient calls and its complaining of too much fluid in the band, they are considered emergency appointment so that they need to be seen the same day or the next day. You have no idea how much damaged you have done to your body if your eating anything you want and then start vomiting after. Your Esophagus will get enlarged and possible damaged to your body cousing your band to slip. Once the band slips you will need surgery to fix it. Call his doctor and have them order a CT-SCAN, the Radiologist will then know if he has too much fluid in his band. If he continues vomiting its also  a SINGED that his band slipped. I wish you the best!