Six Months Out and Miserable
Long story short- I'm six months out and feeling wonderful! Except- now that I've lost weight I have a new found love for LIFE! I want to live it to the fullest...I've even gone back to school. This is causing major issues for my marriage and I'm seriously considering divorce. Would love to hear from anyone with similar issues.
Shawna
Well, first of all, let me say right out of the chute, that I am pro-marriage, anti-divorce...so I'm biased, ok?
And I know that everyone doesn't share my beliefs regarding this, but I would just caution anyone considering throwing over your longtime marriage/relationship for the excitement or "newness of the moment" you may feel regarding your weight loss and renewed confidence and self-image. This kind of stuff can be heady to be sure, but a lot of times this type of excitement is all glitter and no gold. It's transitory. It's important to re-examine the commitment you've made to your life partner, I believe. Is there any way you can get them on board with your new "zest for life?" Sometimes counseling can a be a key to changing the dynamics of a relationship.
And I know that everyone doesn't share my beliefs regarding this, but I would just caution anyone considering throwing over your longtime marriage/relationship for the excitement or "newness of the moment" you may feel regarding your weight loss and renewed confidence and self-image. This kind of stuff can be heady to be sure, but a lot of times this type of excitement is all glitter and no gold. It's transitory. It's important to re-examine the commitment you've made to your life partner, I believe. Is there any way you can get them on board with your new "zest for life?" Sometimes counseling can a be a key to changing the dynamics of a relationship. 
I've seen people change after surgery and it's a concern for both my husband and I . He feels that I'll lose interest in him after I lose the weight. He is So excited for me though and he knows how much this means to me. We are newly married but have been together for almost 7 years. We've gone through some really rough situations and we made sure that we went through counseling before we got married and we learned how to deal with changes, conflict and other things that arise instead of walking away. Making sure they are on board and supportive is REALLY important! He should be going on this journey with you, no****ching from the sidelines! My Husband will make life changes right along with me as I do. If after I have surgery there are issues I am 100% in agreeance to going to counseling! This should be an exciting time for both of you!!
"Be present for your journey, get to know who you really are and then be your authentic self with NO apologies"
You can follow my journey at mandaschange.blogspot.com
You can follow my journey at mandaschange.blogspot.com
I have been married for 15 yrs. I am waiting for surgery. I am ready for a new lease on life but not if it means trading in olde faithful! My husband has loved me through THICK AND THIN literally. I think once he sees you taking a new lease on life it will rub off. He will get lonely and want to be with you. I believe in my husband and hope he believes in me. Being married to me means never giving up. Together we can do anything. The grass isn't always greener!
Nothing tastes as good as this feels! 
Melissa, I found this Board and had to respond to your post - my greatest fantasy pre-surgery was to be able to ride again, although I never believed it would actually happen (I weighed 360 the morning of my surgery; am holding steady at 160 nearly 6 years later.) . Now, as a long-term post-op, my greatest, greatest joy is going home every night to my beautiful Friesian mare, Laela, and heading out on the trails together. Of course, I go home to my husband and son as well - but ah, it's Laela that I can't wait to jump on!!! 
Good for you! Keep riding - after all these years and despite the fact that I am struggling mightily with food again, it's Laela that is keeping me motivated to keep the weight off and stay fit. Would love to hear about your pony! Maureen
Good for you! Keep riding - after all these years and despite the fact that I am struggling mightily with food again, it's Laela that is keeping me motivated to keep the weight off and stay fit. Would love to hear about your pony! Maureen
Don't let anyone hold you back from enjoying your new life. First it was fat holding you back...you've gotten over that bridge. If your husband doesn't want to share in your new life with you then so be it. Tell him it's his choice...he can ride with you or not...but after a while that ride is gonna get lonely and you will eventually need someone to share it with.
Perhaps my wife and I look at things a little differently than most. Nothing says you and your husband have to do EVERYTHING together. There's nothing wrong with having and exploring seperate experiences.
Don't let Jealousy and fear stop either of you from enjoying your new opportunities and interests.
Good Luck!
Thinking Svelte.
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