boyfriend issues

hi, im looking into getting the gastric bypass and i have a huge issue with my boyfriend. he thinks i can do it on my own an won't stop talking about how he really doesnt want me to have this surgery. i told him im doing it for me an not for him but im just confused on why he wouldnt want me to look the best i can an to be healthy. he doesnt get where im coming from, he is in shape an works out everyday and he thinks that just bc he looks good from doing that, i can. which is not true. ugh anyone else have this problem? going to get surgery in less than 5 months and i dont know if i should just end it now or what? an advice?

my x was the same way. we had been toghether for 8 years. i told him i was having the surgery and he kept saying cant you just do it with diet and exciersie and i told him if i could have done that i wouldnt be as big as i was. he eventully relized this is what i wanted so he said he supported my descion. After having my surgery he changed. he was starting to push me away b/c i was loosing all this weight. i think in a way i made him jelous b/c he used to be thinner then me and now hes gained all this weight i think he just felt that with me loosing my weight that i wouldnt want to be with him anymore. long story short we arnt together anymore. i say if hes not willing to support you its not worth the arguments that may come up iver stupid stuff. with this journey you need all the support you can get and not someone who dosn't want to support you in your descion to want to be healthy.

yeah, i think im just going to end it, i def need alot of support right now and im not gettng it from him. how is everything going with you so far?

Woah sister--if you are ending it because of something else...ok, or a number of things...ok. But if it is because you think he is against you, maybe give the fellow a chance.  Change is hard...and this is a big change. You may have been thinking about it a while...but it scary for a partner. He probably doesn't have his brain wrapped around it.
My significant other is scared to lose me and afraid of the complications (even though there are few with vsg) but we have talked a lot and there is some serious understanding happening now.
If he is a great guy and you dig him...give him some time. If you know it is going no where...have at it.

My advice is to put yourself first in your decision-making about WLS.   That said, your boyfriend might need some time to get on board with the idea.  When I came home last summer and announced to my husband that I had been to a weight loss surgery presentation and had decided to have surgery, his response was a simple "no".  I calmly reminded him of my history of trying every weight loss plan known to man and explained the pros and cons of proceeding with surgery vs. obesity.  Within 24-48 hours I had his support, and he's been by my side in this journey ever since. 

Good luck to you!  SG

I agree with your boyfriend it would be much safer to do it the natural way.  You don't know what you're getting into.  Check out the Complications forum and the Wls failure forum here.

I understand where you are coming from.  My long term live in boyfriend was so against me having the surgery.  I have not had it yet but I am doing all of the things and just waiting for insurance submittal.  I have lost a lot of weight in the past only to gain it back. I was actually 65lbs lighter last year this time.  Everytime I loss weight he flips.  Insecurity.  It is kind of sad but true that the weight is their security blanket to keep you at times.  I have explained to him that just because I will be thinner that I am not going to leave him. I have not yet.  Either way I am still sexy and could walk out tomorrow (lol).  He kind of have been coming around to my side about the surgery. Partly because I have given him the run down of the weight related complications I am having and partly because he knows that I am going to do it with or without his blessing. It is up to me.  Just like it is up to you.  Assure him that you love him and will be with him through thick and thin (pun intended). 

My BF didn't want me to have it when I first started reserching it because he thought I would leave him after losing the weight. Well, over time, he became supportive. I think you should give him a chance to learn about the procedure. You may be giving up on a guy when he barely has any knowledge to base his opinion. I would talk with him some more. If you are not happy about something else, that's another story...

Good luck!

Lonnie