Husband is afraid my weight loss will kill our sex life. HELP!!

As a side note I am about  8 months pre - op for the MGB and the biggest difficulty my husband and I are having with this is his fear of my weight loss kiling our sex life.  Due to him being a FA ( Fat Admirer ) his biggest fear ( aside from some major complication or death) is him becoming sexually unattracted to me.  He maintains that his love for me has not changed nor will change, and while we did not fall in love due to my physical appearance, he is a man who becomes sexually aroused just from rubbing my belly.  He is fearful that with my lack of the plumpness he enjoys will inject serious stress into our very healthy ( at least 4 times a week) sex life.  Our sex life has not changed over the course of seven years and I am quite happy with our sex life as it is now and do not want to risk losing it but at the same time I weigh almost 400 pounds and while I am very active for someone my size with no co morbidities I do not want to risk this any longer as I am still in my 20's and intend to have babies within the next 5 years.

Oh tell your hubby that it only gets BETTER. There still will be skin to deal with, but you will defiantly have more energy, once you start to loose weight, you will defiantly find that you become more shall we say flexible (many more positions). You may also want to tell him that according to a well known statistic for every 1 year that you live morbidly obese you loose 5 years of your natural life. So if you both want a lot more enjoyable sex, for a lot longer, don't worry about it. From what my wife said when say her private parts for the first time she cried. Tell him also that the real beauty of a person is what is deep inside, and I am sure you will  both enjoy a great life together.Best of luck..

You owe it to yourself to get the operation for your health, especially if you want to have children, you want to be there for everyone for many years afterwords. My wife and I weighed about the same when we got married over 18 years ago, about 142, I have always been thin. During the course of the next 16 years she gained a lot of weight, almost 100 pounds. Our sex life was always way above average and I was liking the extra weight for quite awhile. Then we slowed down more and more as she reached her highest weight of about 240. She's 2 1/2 years post op and has maintained 125 for well over a year. I re discovered her in her new shell and our sex life is the same as it was during our first year together, and I love her more and more with each passing day. I may add that we are up there in years, me at 65 and her at 50, go figure! The surgery really works.

Being the spouse of a WLS Patient, now 4 weeks out, I can tell you and your hubby, WOW!!

While her desire is not back completely, she feels better that we can dawn positions that before WLS, were just positions that we would laugh at together and go about it another way. I was/am attracted to my wife since day one and while even her being "heavy", she still looked good to me but so does thinner women. The possibilities regarding sex are only going to INCREASE, you will feel better about yourself thus making it more desiring to YOU to want to do things that you probably have never wanted to do. I have to admit that I was apprehensive hearing people say that it only gets better. Even at 4 weeks out, I can already see it.

Hang in there, you're about to rock his socks off.

Congratulation on your decision to have surgery.  As a DH of someone who is now 3 months post op and also a lover of women of size I understand your DH's concern. Let me put you both at ease. I find my wife more exciting with each pound she loses.  I know she is getting healthier and healthier.  Our sex life  has not been this vigorous since our early twenties.  So good luck in your surgery and your weight journey.