Wife is getting ready for WLS

My wife (who is on this forum) has been approved for WLS and is scheduled for Sept.8. I, among others, I'm sure, are nervous as hell and to be quite frank with you, I'm scared. While I have done some research on the surgery myself, I have mixed feelings about it and mixed concerns that range from the simplest to the most common. I have to be honest and say that I've not read this forum even a fraction that she has but I need to. She is on her 3 week pre-op diet as we speak and she is excited about it. I'm sure she is nervous and scared but being the backbone of the family, she's either hiding it very well or not as scared as I am. For the record she is by-pass and not the band. I am happy for her and knowing that she will eventually read my post, I want her to go through it as if there was no concern at all. I often put myself in her shoes and I know she is ready to do this. I'm behind her all the way and then some. I'm looking forward to the benifits that this brings to her and me :-). I have read a few post from men and women and some are talking about the strain that it puts on a marriage especially after WLS. I have looked a few pictures of before and after pictures and I have to say WOW! I already think my wife is attractive and cannot wait until the "after" pictures. The relationship strain concerns me as well but not as much as the problems that can come after surgery. I worry about stitches coming out, internal bleeding and all that other stuff that goes along with it. It's goes without saying that I don't want to lose my wife but I guess that I have to look at it as though she will be much better off after the surgery and the surgeon is top rated in this area. Since she has made up her mind to do this, it has caused me great stress and even to the point of being depressed because I worry about the "what if's". Any words of encouragement would be great. Suggestions and comments would be really great. JC

Hi John...I am terrible at writing but your message really got to me. You sound like such a loving ,caring husband. From what Ive read all your thoughts are completely normal sounding, The fear of the unknown.  You have to think of this surgery in a positve way, what if she doesnt have the surgery? Possible Heart attack,diabetes, and numerous other  problems associated with weight. All surgerys are risky but in my opinion this is no worse off then numerous others. Just this one comes with benefits...not just for your wife but you aswell. You will have a happy and healthy wife when all is said and done for along time. Just stay strong, support her and love her and things will turn out fine. I know in the beginning my husband felt the same way as you, nervous, fearful and many other feelings. But now to this day he feels it was the best thing since sliced bread. Ohh dont really eat that no more lol...since hitting the lottery, lol that sounds better. Our sex life has gotten better, he enjoys seeing me happy now and not so self concious, he enjoys that I am not in pain from walking and doing simple tasks, he likes that I can and want to join in on activities that I once avoided and made every excuse of why I didnt want to do them. And he and myself enjoy the compliments I recieve and he knows I am always going home to him! Just be there for your wife and yourself, talk about your hopes and fears together and you both should be fine, what you are feeling now is perfectly normal and will soon fade when all is said and done. Good-luck youll both be in my thoughts........ 

I think this women are too trusting and they are attracted by the passiveness of "having something done to them" instead of them getting up moving and eating healthy.  This surgery should be banned for only exceptionally overweight people 400 +.  The rest should wake up to the near irreversibility of the operation and its many complications.  Dr E Mason the inventor of the RNY has great concerns about its long term effects. 
Women are falling for the marketing of the whole thing.  There is a 58% suicide increase risk for patients of Bariatric surgery.  The mortality rate is played down cause when something goes wrong indirectly related to the operation they classify it as heart attack, or kidney failure but without this damned operation many people would still be alive that never had a problem with their health.  There horrible horror stories and the victims, of self mutilation, are mostly women.

u must be skinny................you sound so positive, thanks for the advice!