Fourm for those who WANT TO support thier spouse??

I have noticed that the last three posts are from spouses wanting to help and proud of thier spouses. and NONE of them have been responded to. The entire backlog of posts are from people whos lives were devestated. (including one who is REALLY upset, and when anyone asks for suggestions tohelp thier spouse, spouts her horror story and figures everyone is going to get divorced. Now, I understand the "numbers", however, I know my spouse, our relationship, and the reasons for my husband wanting to do this. We have been through losing a child, and our relationship grew stronger because of it. Not that there wont be ups and downs, just to be prepared and get help if needed. I really think there should be a place for those *****ALLY want to support thier spouses and not just spout angry tirades (well, maybe not tirades). That said, anyone have any suggestions about how to help my spouse preop and post op? Or where I can go to get that help? Thanks.

I have found my state board to be more helpful than this board on this site. I agree about the discouraging posts, but on the local or even general site boards, they are more willing to be positive, and there is more activity. Also, look in the MONTH of surgery forums. Those have been the best for me.

Whitney, I was wishing that there was the same kind of forum. I heard that there was a "Spousal Support For WLS Forum" and I made the mistake of sending my husband here, without checking it out first. He came here and saw all the complaints and I had to do a little bit of reassuring with him, but we are pretty confident in our marriage and I don't believe any of that stuff would happen to us. I think that if problems exist before surgery, they may be intensified after. Only my opinion. As far as helping your husband....I wanted to say first and foremost, be there for him and be supportive of this (and from your post, that is exactly what it sounded like you want to do for him). This is going to be a whole new way of life for him. My husband ended up staying at the hospital with me, the whole time. This was an absolute blessing. I needed help with little things, like getting up to go to the bathroom, rearranging pillows to be comfortable, getting ice chips, etc. Just him being there for those things was a huge thing to me. Day shift nurses are usually pretty busy and it is nice to not have to feel like you are having to bug them with the little things. He also set his alarm on the cell phone for every 3 1/2 - 4 hours. When you are in the hospital, they won't give you pain medicine until you ask for it, after the day of surgery. If you try and tough it out, the pain can end up getting to the point where it is pretty bad and it takes a while before anything will work. He would ask me every 3 1/2 hours if I thought I needed to go ahead and ask for some pain medicine. This was probably one of the best things he could have done. If you have any questions, please feel free to pm me and I will be happy to help you with them. Good luck to you both, Tonya