Anyone have a GOOD Outcome?

I am getting ready to have WLS and popped in hear as I was perusing the site. I am all the sudden very concerned about the health of my marriage after I have this surgery. I am having this done so I can be around for more then a few more years, so that I can enjoy going out with my husband WITHOUT being self conscious, to be the best Mom I can be for my boys. I don't drink and haven't for like 6 years. I think my husband and I have a decent marriage...it'd be better if I was happier. He doesn't have a weight problem. My question is, is there anyone here who's had this surgery or who's spouse had this surgery and they're still happy or happier now then they were? I'd rather stay fat and de young then ruin my marriage and my kid's life and be skinny.

Hi Amy I believe every marriage has its bumps. I believe we are pushed to remind us not to take things for granted. Marriages can become much stronger after some bumps!! I wouldn't blame WLS for any marriage issues. It is usually alot deeper than losing your weight. For people whose marriages have ended, I'm sure that there was/is some other unresolved issues. Please don't let the worrying turn you away from saving your health. The freedom from all the weight will be worth it. If your marriage is okay before the WLS, then I believe it should get stronger after. Read my last post.... The things I discovered were my own fault. The WLS didn't upset my husband, the changes I went through are great, but NEVER take anything for granted and always work towards keeping your loved one happy. Remember that although they are not physically having WLS, they are also going through this journey. Let them take this journey along with you and remember that they are the ones who loved you before, just as you are, and for who you are inside. My experience opened my eyes. After talking with my husband our love has returned and stronger than before! I appreciate the little things and cherish the times we have together. Good luck and may your journey be a filled with love, happiness and success.

Amy, I'm the non-op spouse in our relationship. My wife had RNY on my birthday in 2005. It's been my experience that WLS has the ability to amplify whatever your situation is in your marriage. I admit, that I struggle with jealousy issues since she gets a lot more attention from other men than she did before. Fortunately, my wife has been in therapy for some time before her surgery. Along her journey, when things became strained between us, we started marriage counseling. We both didn't know how to fix our issues, and didn't want to give up on our relationship. The counseling worked wonders, and now things are pretty damn amazing. Don't be afraid to seek outside help.

Hi Amy, sorry to be chiming in so late. I've never seen this board before. You're question is the exact reason I'm here. You are right to be concerned; the odds of marriage failure post op is high. But it doesn't mean it has to happen to you! I gained weight after I had our kids. Our marriage went into a tail spin. I was so certain he was going to leave me because I was over weight, I treated him like he was already gone. One day I finally realize that he was there for me all along. Granted he wasn't physically attracted to me. But he was a committed husband. Once I apologized for my behavior and started acknowleging his goodness, things got a lot better. when I told him I wanted surgery. He was a big advocate. Long story long. I'm 4 years post op and our marraige is still going strong. But it had a lot more to do with us finding mutual respect for each other than me losing weight. Actually I still struggle with my weight and he is 100% supportive. and though he's never had a weight problem and really doesn't 'get it', he knows my struggle is real, and loves me all the same. So that's my story. I hope you find the same healthy life I've found through WLS.

We are still happy!   I just agree with poster #2; maritial issues can be amplified or exposed by the weight loss; they don't necessarily come BECAUSE of the wt loss.

Hi...I feel wls has made my marriage stronger...my marriage has always been failry good but it seems even better now. I am no longer so self concious about my apperance which makes things alot nicer in the bedroom. I have ALOT more energy so I am able to go out and do more things with my husband without always coming up with an excuse of why I cant go. And I just feel good about myself which makes me and my husband happy.So to make a long story short, in my opinion if you have problems before in your marriage WLS wont make them go away, it takes work, but if you already have a nice solid marriage before hand, it can definatly make it alot stronger. 

I am so glad to hear that the failure of my marriage seems to be in the minority. But again, we had issues before the WLS that I just wasn't aware of. I will you a lot of luck and hope things work out for the better.